Crushes

Let's just be honest...crushes are really fun. And there are some of us [me? what?] that have a lot of them. I have a friend, Dianna, that did a great couple of posts on the different types of crushes that exist. I thought it was so entertaining that I had to share it with all of you. I have copied and pasted it for your enjoyment. So, please, read here or click here or here for links directly to her posts. And feel free to add a few more of your own.

Celebrity Crush: You think you know what I mean by this, but you don't. This is not having a crush on an actual celebrity...however, a crush on an actual celebrity could be included in this category I suppose. Similar to having a crush on a movie star, having a "celebrity" crush means that you have a crush on someone that you don't know anything about. You like the way they hold themselves or the way other people view them (or, let's just say it, you just think they're really hot), but you really don't know anything about them. They could be strangers, they could be acquaintances, they COULD be on TV. This includes the guy you keep running into at the grocery store or the dude that works down the hall from you. It also includes Matthew Goode. You know, guys you don't take the time to get to really know, but you dream about how cute your babies will be one day.

Backburner Crush: This is the guy you always have in the back of your mind. The guy who you default on when you don't have a more dominant crush in your life. The guy who lingers through the years. The guy you will never really pursue because you are comfortable in the consistency of your unrequited lust. And you think "maybe one day..."

Pipe Dream Crush: This is a real crush, not a pretend one like the backburner dude or the celebrity dude. However, this one is pretty sad because for some reason or another you've convinced yourself that he's out of your league, regardless of whether or not he really is. In your mind, he's unattainable. He's the "perfect guy"...too good to be true (and probably is...). This one is a little dangerous because girls tend to spiral down into the depths of self-depravity and depression because we feel like we will never live up to what this guy would ever want in a girl. Having an unattainable crush is pretty masochistic if you really think about it.

Flip Flop Crush: I like him. No I don't, his feet are too big. Yes I do, he took a really cute picture with his niece! No I don't, he got a weird haircut. Yes I do, he's totally cute. No I don't, he talks too much. Yes I do, he's friggin funny....etc.

Wingman Crush: This is the crush that you develop on your friend's interest's friend. Does it need any more explanation than that? It starts out with some general commiseration ("oh, you mean HE won't stop talking about HER either?! I thought I was the only one that felt like I was slowly being intellectually murdered with the lack of conversation...) and then while you guys are standing there awkwardly while your friends are getting their flirt on, you realize that he's actually a really cool guy.

Egypt Crush: Cuz you're in DA-NILE! GET IT?! Denial? Huh? Oh man, I crack myself up. Ok fine, that was really lame. But this one really does exist...so I'll just rename it The Denial Crush - This is the crush on the guy whom everyone knows you're in love/lust with, but you won't admit it. Perhaps it's a method of self-preservation? Guarding your heart maybe? But honey, it's time to stop fooling yourself, everyone knows.

Girl (space) Friend Crush: This is the crush you have on the boy who thinks you are his best buddy. In his mind, he's neatly placed you in the dreaded "just friends" category. (Oh her? She's just a friend.) He tells you of all of his romantic endeavors and treats you like the Love Doctor. Meanwhile, you know that none of the girls that he's pursuing would ever be as good for him as you could be.

Cradle Robber Crush: TOO YOUNG! But SOOO CUTE! What the heck? You would never consider dating him because it would just feel a little too Oedipal, but you can't help but squeal every time he's around cuz you just think he's such a cutie-pie (or fine, he might also just be really hot). If you had a little sister, you'd totally hook her up, but you'd also secretly be jealous of her. :)

Burn Crush: You have a crush on someone who is really mean to you. Like you get burned, but like leper, you don't feel it and keep putting your hand in the fire.

Bad News Bears Crush: We all have these. It's the bad boy syndrome. Why can't we ever fall for the guys who are good for us? This is the crush you have on the dude where you can count on your fingers and your toes the reasons why you should NEVER be in a relationship with him. Yet, something about him draws you in every time. Who cares if he's homeless, has three kids and is addicted to meth? He's SOOO sweet and he's got great teeth!

Phone/Email Crush: All of you in the corporate world can probably relate. This is the crush you have on that guy who you've never met in person, but you talk to him on the phone all the time and you're constantly exchanging witty pleasantries over IM. He's not quite a celebrity crush because technically, you "know" him...

The I try too hard guy

We all know this guy, the guy that pushes his product a little too hard. By the end of the night all you want to say is “I realize you are God’s gift to womankind but I am a bit overwhelmed and never want to talk to you again!”

A friend of mine encountered such a man at a wedding she was at the other weekend. Let’s recap some of his best attempts:

He was applying for his MFA in Photography and mentioned three of the best schools in the area you could go to for a MFA saying “these are really the only ones I am applying for.”

My friend mentioned yoga and this man then proceeded to go into the crow and pushed up into a handstand. For those of you who do not know yoga, this means he is ridiculously strong. Ridiculous. My friend wasn’t even talking to him – he just overheard a conversation she was having.

At one point in the evening (since he was like a little puppy following her around) she offered him a cigarette – he politely declined, but of course could not just say no. Instead, he said, “I will have to decline, not that I’m a prude, it’s just I am running 20 miles tomorrow.”

She told him she was going to Amsterdam so he starts speaking to her in Dutch.

When everyone started dancing at the wedding he created space around him and all out started popping and locking.

When she said goodbye to him he said goodbye to her in Africans

He was not trying to carry a conversation with her at all; he was basically trying to tell her how great he was. He did not ask her a single question about herself although he appeared very interested in her since he was watching her all night and following her around.

Honeymoon is over horserace

Note to reader: This video is hilarious. It also contains inappropriate language. Please be careful about where you watch it and who is present. Enjoy!

The teller

The other day I was running an errand for a friend – this involved depositing a check in a bank which was not my own. I walked into the bank hoping this would not be an issue and thus a very short errand in my busy afternoon.

Having gathered the essential details regarding the transaction I approached the [young and quite attractive African-American] teller.

Yeti: I am really hoping you can help me with this
Teller: What do we have here?
Yeti: You see, I am not actually a member of your bank, but I need to make a deposit for someone else.
Teller: Well, I am sure I can help a pretty girl like you out [wink]
Yeti: [smile] Thank you.
Teller: Why is it YOU aren’t a member of this bank?
Yeti: Because I already have a bank?
Teller: That's a shame. With the all the financial crisis that is going on as of late are you sure they are going to take care of you and last for the long run? Because we are one of the strongest banks around today and a really good bank to be at.
Yeti: Really? Is the bank good to its employees as well?
Teller: Oh yes, I love working here. And if you joined this bank I would personally be sure to take good care of you [wink]
Yeti: Well, that’s very nice – but I think I will have to stick with my bank for just now. But I'll will be sure to let you know if I change my mind.
Teller: You do that. You’re deposit is all taken care of. You have a good day and come back and see me soon when you change your mind [wink].

Can you catch the yeti?

I seriously just found this...must have been made for my blog [note: I hope my yeti is actually more attractive than this photo]

A Mesh Confession

FACT: I have found something I detest even more than v-necks….

Mesh shirts.























If I can see your nipples through your shirt that is not OK.
I have never understood this concept –do you think this is sexy? Do you think we women like nipples as much as you men do?























At least this boy is sporting a nice cross...























They totally make you look stronger.

















And who WOULDN'T want to go dancing with THAT?
























































































Let me set the record straight. We enjoy the mystery a solid thick t-shirt provides, that's what we like.

The dreaded dragon

A friend of mine was out the other day on an obligatory, “I live in California so when you visit I have to be your faux tour guide.” (if you’re from the mid-west you’ll understand). After dinner at a local restaurant the waitress continued to flirt, coaxing him into dessert and at least ten more minutes in her presence. Everyone thought she was good-looking and seemed to have a pretty fun and easy-going personality. By the urging of his out-of-town guest he initiated with this woman. He wrote his number on a napkin (pretty weak he admits) hoping the pathetic attempt to win her over might somehow dissuade any dates, but this dragon already had its claws in him.

The girl called him the very next day, witty in her response that she was "just calling the long list of numbers she got from the night before." Impressed, they planned a time to go out and grab some tea. They had pretty good conversation and ended up back at his place to hang out for a bit longer. Brief conversation and a little music the night was going pretty swell for both parties.

When sleep began to take over and his eyelids got heavy, he took a quick trip to restroom. When he came back he found the girl in his bedroom, unpacking several small items into his room.

Dragon: "So, where do I sleep, the right or the left?"
Chapman: "um…the right or the left, at your house?"

She proceeded to remove a night bag and a large book.

Dragon: "This is what we can read to each other at nights"
Chapman: "Um, no, cause you AREN'T staying here."

Chapman then excuses himself to go check something for his roommate, currently traveling for work. When he returns to the bedroom he finds that his current guest has taken off her shirt, bra and MOST of her rings and laid herself out across his bed. Why not all jewelry you might ask? Well to his both shock and intrigue a glimmer of light caught his eye, but when he looked for the source of the reflection, all he found were two pierced nipples with remarkably polished rings through each. To continue to unravel the mystery that can sometimes lie beneath the surface of clothes, she had a crazy-ass tattoo of a dragon beginning from the inner thigh of her left leg (that's the tail) up across her back around her neck to finish with it, the dragon, eating her right breast.

Taken-aback the current presentation of art across his bed he immediately found a blanket and covered her naked body and called a cab… okay, maybe that was my advice to him—Chapman proceeded to as he puts it, “Appreciate the art that someone had worked a lifetime on.” and made-out with his new found friend for several hours. [I guess…boys will be boys?]

After convincing her she still was not spending the night and neither was her book, she packed up her things and he drove her home… but somehow the book was missed and did end up spending the night.

Two more dates followed, each with similar results yet each with increasingly crazier conversations about her past lives (yes, lives) of being a warrior that enjoyed killing for conquest and the possibility of maybe having been a dragon [yeah, we didn't get it either]. Chapman decided things just weren’t working out. But, deciding he must do the decent thing he arranges to meet up with her one more time to let her know that he doesn't think it will work out between the two of them.

He made the mistake of agreeing to meet at a bar unfamiliar to him. He enters the bar to find it weighted with a ratio of two girls to around fifty BIG BIKER dudes. Immediately out of place in his work attire everyone turns recognizing the new comer, and to his surprise, why he was there. Dragon proceeds to introduce him to ALL her friends, not one under two hundred pounds, each with tattoos that put her mild full back/leg/breast tattoo to shame.

He then takes her to a quiet section of the bar to rip that band-aid off quick and painless. When he removed the BOOK from his back pocket Dragon saw what was coming and took a preemptive strike. With four shots of tequila already in the tank, she let out these dreaded words, “Was I not everything to you? And now you hurt me like this!”

Every head in the bar turned in unison, even the bartender tried to urge my friend, with his eyes, to run. But unafraid or just plain stupid, Chapman tried with a few words to bring reason back into the chaos that was ready to explode. She listened for approximately forty seconds until an earthquake detectable only to those with several ounces of alcohol pumping through their veins could feel. She suddenly fell flat on her face. The bar started to tremble with the weight of fifty men standing and bar stools sliding across the floor.

With hands up to show he had no part in her dance with gravity, my friend quickly realized this looked even worse and grabbed the immobilized women, propping her up against the dart board. Shutting his eyes and bracing for the impact of a pool stick, fist, or bottle, he waited. Slowly opening his eyes, he turned to see that the bar seemed more impressed that she had knocked herself out two seconds beforehand and was now conscious and screaming at Chapman again.

Chapman took the opportunity to physically run as fast as his leather sole shoes could carry him, out the door, across the street and down several blocks… even though his car was only a block from the bar.

Catching his breath, retrieving his car and making it home, without his dignity, he went to sleep.

The next morning he wakes to 10 text messages calling him every name in every book [remember: only three dates, no “I love you’s” exchanged, and certainly no sex or even third-base… he wants this said so you really understand his story]

He goes to work without response. By lunch, another dozen text messages have come in, asking for forgiveness, explaining that she doesn’t even remember the night, let alone what she may have said.

He remains unresponsive. That night he wakes to a text message every thirty minutes, each progressively more insane, “You were wrong about me, DEAD wrong.”

Realizing for the first time that his house and room were known to her, for the first time since a full-blown stalker in 10th grade did he fear for his life.

The proceeding NINE days he received a total of 144 text messages until finally either her phone broke or she found a new home for her book…

Needless to say, this incident showed my friend two things; 1 – never break-up with someone in an unfamiliar location! 2 – If your out-of-town guests ever urge you into asking someone out, DON’T, they will board a plane and fly far, far away and you will be stuck reading 144 text messages fearing for your life.

So many expectations

It has been a while since I have shared a winner from eHarmony...let's have another shall we?

I had a boy once request communication with me and this is what he was looking for:

"I am looking for commonalities in background and values. Someone who is a a Evangelical Christian and conservative Republican. Grounded in faith, active in ministry, with a heart for evangelism. Open to teaching Sunday School, interested in short-term foreign missions. Strong convictions, believes in a real right and wrong, knows actions have consequences. Godly character, honest, industrious, tither. Wants to be a stay-at-home mom. Intelligent, curious and eager to learn, reads and asks questions. Isn't independent, but is inter-dependent, seeks counsel and recognizes that life is a team sport."

Umm, no thank you [and not just because of your grammar].

Reality vs. Media

So here is a Monday morning question for you – as I am sure many of you watched movies over the weekend to cool you mind from your many strenuous weekly activities.

Do you think guys hate being cast in roles that depict them as bad at sex? Cause let’s be honest, sometimes girls are bad at separating reality from television and movies…do you think it hurts their game?

Bedside Baptist

I hope you feel convicted

Don't call me baby

So, I went salsa dancing again the other weekend (I know, I know, I am so unpredictable!). I saw my DJ friend who tried once again to woo me with his great pick-up lines. I think he had downed a couple beers because he was extra flirty, even more than usual. His parents were there that evening so his dad as working the DJ table which freed him up to lounge with Erika and me at our table. [thank God, right?]

Let’s see if I can relay some of my favorite quotes from the evening [and I apologize that I do not know how to insert voice clips in here because my impersonation of this guy is UNCANNY]:

Lonely: Baby, come on and sit here closer to me [pats his hand on the couch next to him and winks].

Lonely: Baby, you so sexy, I just love the way you dance [um…note to reader: I dance like a little white girl]

Lonely: Baby you smell so good. What is that?
Yeti: I don’t really know. I don’t wear any special perfume or anything.
Lonely: Maybe it is your sweat.

Lonely: I was talking to your friend and I told her I would bring my brother here next week.
Yeti: Really? Is your brother a nice guy?
Lonely: Yeah, I think they would really get along great. I told her I would hook her up with my brother if she hooked me up with her friend [wink]
Yeti: Ha…Ha…Ha…

Lonely: Baby, why don’t you ever call me back when I call you?
Yeti: um…you didn’t leave a message, I didn’t think it was important
[note to reader: the REASON he has my number is because he is the one I have to text in order to get on the guest list for free entry to salsa…please, I am a poor graduate student, you really think I am going to pay every week??]

And, yes, he really did call me baby that many times [and probably even more] – I definitely hate that word now.

Awkward situation

#2: having to go pee when you are on the phone with a love interest

do you hold it?
what if you can't? do you let it out slowly? or is fast better?
do you try and hold your hand over the phone so they can't hear?
do you flush and run out of the bathroom quick? maybe just save the flush for later?

or do you just say "what's the big deal?" and own it. i mean, we all pee don't we?

What if you are on eharmony and you get hooked up with a celebrity's ex husband whose been on dr. keith to talk about the divorce?

I have a friend that is on eHarmony (who isn’t, let’s be honest). She was matched with this real attractive man, 90210, that seemed pretty great and actually looked vaguely familiar. She exchanged questions with him and made it to open communication. They grabbed a meal together and all things considered had a pretty enjoyable time. She knew from his profile that he was divorced, but was still willing to feel things out because he seemed like a pretty neat guy and was funny [funny is key].

She was comparing profiles with a good friend of hers and when 90210’s came up her friend squealed “I KNOW HIM!” She had apparently met him at the church she attends [bonus points for him that he actually attends church].

Turns out, the reason he looked so familiar to her and why her friend had seem him at church before was because he was married to someone famous. She is a name ALL of you would recognize, I'm not going to actually tell you her name, but it rhymes with Sori Telling.

After finding out who he was (and who he was married to) she looked him up online: google, youtube, everything else imaginable. The problem is, she actually found him on all these things, including a clip on Dr. Keith – I am not kidding. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

I guess this is why you don’t marry celebrities – or maybe why you google people before you go out with them [don’t lie, you know you all do it].

Getting advice from a love interest

From experience and observation I have come to this conclusion: It is a bad idea to go to a guy with your relationship woe's, especially if you have any sort of history or the possibility of a future with him. And it goes both ways. I mean, what are we REALLY trying to achieve?

I have a male friend that just went through this very situation and he puts it like this: It is not just that we have already talked about these issues [granted, it was in dealing with ourselves] it is that I don't feel comfortable being "here" and I don't want to deal with her dating or interest in guys when we have already had to deal with the oddness of our own relationship.

And let’s be honest, too much of the time that oddness is something that is left unspoken, a rift in the relationship that you rarely address. You simply let the sexual tension build and allow this person to stand in as your “substitute” until a suitable mate comes along.

But I think maybe girls and guys are sending different messages when they try to communicate about their relational woes with someone they have been or are potentially interested in:

Girls are trying to say: look, guys are interested in me, I’ve been asked out four times in the last two weeks, that should tell you something, why aren’t YOU asking me out? Or, I trust you, that’s why I am telling you these things about my past relationships, ask me out so we can do things differently, I know you wouldn’t treat me like these other guys. But unfortunately guys read it as "I have these other guys, I don't need you. Don't be interested in me"

I don’t really know if I can speak to what I think guys are trying to get at when they talk to girls about their relational woes – perhaps you can all shed light on that for me. I have been confused one too many times when this has happened in my own life. I can only let you know that when a guy does this, a girl tends to interpret it as “I trust you and I want to let you in on this part of my life” – and we think that if we listens JUST long enough and gives the right advice or says the right thing – he’ll FINALLY realize he’s actually in love with US not the dumb girl he’s been discussing.

Evolution of man

Need I say more?

Dimitri the Stud

Along with the many things I am thankful for this year...I am thankful I am not Olga and I did not give my number to this man [sorry for the cheesy, non-existent, video]

I'm not creepy

“I’m really not creepy, I promise”

There are so many things wrong with this phrase. First, there’s whatever incident prompted you to have to say this.

Second, if you have to tell someone that you are not creepy…it probably means that you are. You aren’t convincing us anymore by telling us. That’s like saying “here kid, eat this candy.”

Don’t be creepy in the first place. If you’re getting yourself into situations where you have to convince people of your normalcy, there’s something wrong.

Mad TV is sadly not far off

I would not have done as well as this girl...
"the back of your head is ridiculous" - I can't resist that line!



Thanks, Leann for the video :)

Should have said "cool"

Sometimes we make it so hard for you guys...

Giving someone a chance

The last poll asked “If you are pretty sure you aren't interested in someone, should you still give him or her at least one date?” This has been a question I have debated myself for quite some time.

58% of you said Yes
33% of you said No
And…thank you to the 4 of you (7%) who chose my “it depends on how rich they are” option.

I am going to have to say I am with the 33% that said no. And this is only because of past experience. Let me make my argument:

I had a friend in college once tell me that I should give every guy that asked me out at least one chance – unless, of course, he was psycho or something. When he first shared this with me I thought it made sense. I mean, sometimes you don’t really know a person just from class, group hangouts, the club, a bar, Sunday morning, etc. and they could be different in a one-on-one context. However, the more and more I thought about it I did not really like his philosophy, at least for my personality.

One date feels like a foot in the door to me. If I give a guy one date it just makes it harder for me to let him know that I am not interested in him and would have no desire to make babies with him in the future. Maybe this is just my personality – I, quite often, have a really good time on a date even if I am feeling no chemicals with that person. So I can be completely authentic in saying “I had a really great time with you tonight” and even think to myself it would be great to hang out with them again, but be coming from a completely different place than them. I guess I just hate having that “…just so you know, I’m not interested in you. But let’s me friends, OK?” It would almost just be better if we didn’t go out in the first place if I was not romantically intrigued. Guys aren’t really interested in being your friend at this stage in the game they have enough friends.

That being said: if I have gone out with you that does not necessarily mean I am into you and have a desire to hold or be held by you. Sometimes I am just bad at saying no. We girls are never very easy to figure out, are we?

But say you give it that first date, that one shot to see if they can sway you: where do you go from there? Where do you draw the line on how much face-time you will give them to persuade you to fall for them? And maybe I am still idealistic but I kind of want a guy interested in and wanting me before I have to spend time convincing him on a date.

Maybe the four that picked the “it depends on how rich they are” option were on to something. Just being willing to go out with them is not the answer, but let’s not shoot them down so soon – I mean, they could have SOMETHING to offer ;-)

Welcome to the World Jet!

How LUCKY am I that another very special couple in my life brought this precious boy into the world?? Mark and Jeanette are seriously off the charts when it comes to cool and this little kiddo is going to be a heart-breaker!
















Jude Everett Travis Maines entered this world at 9:33am on September 1st. He weighs 7.65 pounds and is 21.75 inches long.































Welcome to the world Jet - I love you and am sure the reason you screamed so loud when I held you is because you were THAT excited!

Awkward situation

#1: Sitting in a movie with a really intense and/or graphic sex scene with a guy or girl you like.

You both know you're thinking it.
This is ESPECIALLY awkward if you are on a first date.
**cough, cough
**adjust [squirm] in my seat (or try not to move at all)
**Stare straight ahead

[tension is building, neither pair knows what to say, guy racks his brain for any sort of witty statement to ease the pressure]
Boy: "I sure hope that car wash was heated otherwise this scene must have been awful to shoot."
Girl: "ha...ha...ha" [girl fake laughs at stupid comment to pretend she is not phased by the scene]

For those who love michael phelps

Happy Labor Day.

How Michael Phelps came to be:












Thanks to Dodi for passing this along.

Another car ad

In keeping with the theme of "smart is the new sexy" a car commercial came out for Mercedes Benz [I am so glad car commercials are getting more interesting] with the theme "beauty is nothing without brains" - I like the way advertising is heading....

Giving a gift

So, I gave a boy trail mix. That’s right…I paid attention to something he said (mainly that he liked to eat trail mix) so I went to the store and bought some, and then I picked up a card with it. I had to make sure it was pretty vague, nothing that said “I want to have your babies” on it, and then I dropped the little gift off at his apartment.

I am not going to say the response was horrible [it was] I am only going to say it was not great. “Thanks for the card” was his reply over g-chat the next day. Really? OK…apparently someone buying you TRAIL MIX is not a big deal. But, let me tell you…it IS a big deal.

I have come a long way since my high school and college days. There was a boy I was head over heels for in college (let’s call him Lava) and I just didn’t know how to act around him. I was pretty sure he was into me but he was just so PAINFULLY shy. You see, I am what they like to call stubborn. I only want to have to push so hard because then I actually feel like I am making some guy like me, and that just feels pathetic. So one day [again, after paying really good attention] I went out and bought Lava some Swedish fish. They’re one of his favorite little candies to munch on. But when it came time to give them to him, I chickened out. I had spend quite a bit of time the evening before making the cheesiest card you will EVER see [something to do with water and a goldfish and “of all the fish in the sea you’re the only one for me…gaaaaah!!!] Anyway, when I went to put the fish and card in his PO box I just didn’t sign my name – I left it anonymously. Now, how is THAT supposed to achieve what I wanted it to? And to make matters worse he got it right before the class we had together. So, throughout the entire class he was making comments about how thoughtful it was someone had left those for him, he couldn't figure out who it was, etc. And I was eating Swedish fish I had bought pretending I had no idea where they had come from. Real smoooooth.

But apparently even signing your name on the card doesn’t really help matters any more then anonymously giving it. THIS guy didn’t even share any of the trail mix. OK, baby steps though, I guess it is not realistic for a guy to know that trail mix is hinting at happily ever after.

Damn all those crafty girls that do this so frequently it makes us other girls look typical.

Top 5 Famous Freebie List

We all have those celebrity crushes...you know, those ones that if we ran into them, we would for SURE go for it [cause would be really smooth and know all the right things to say and OBVIOUSLY they would be instantly attracted to us].
I think usually married and/or dating couples come up with these list, you know, the "freebie" list - the "good-luck-you-could-never-get-them-if-you-tried-but-I-won't-get-mad-if-by-some-miracle-you-do" list.

Dooce did her top 5 list [it was not good], and I had been thinking for some time this could be interesting [offensive] to do, so let's give it a try. Here is mine:

**OK...I redid my list again - the unfortunate two I have had to bump off my list have been shadowed.

1. Edward Norton
2. Wentworth Miller
2. Batman [Christian Bale is OK too]
3. Jack Black
4. Daniel Day-Lewis
4. Will Smith
5. Tim McGraw

Now, as much as I appreciate Ana C and her comment below - this is not the point of the exercise. So...please make up alias names [like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis] for your husband if you really can't come up with celebrities...










Dooce got 801 comments on the first day she posted this, I am assuming I will get at LEAST half of that...your list?

Welcome to the World Haven!

Words escape me when it comes to expressing how excited I am that this little girl has now entered the world. Karla and Aaron are two of the most amazing people you will ever meet. I can't wait to continue walking through life with them as they now raise and nurture a lovely daughter [and now Olivia and I can fight over who will be the favorite aunt!]























Haven Elizabeth was born August 19, 6 weeks early: 4 lbs. 13 oz. and 18 inches long. She has spent the first week of her life in the NICU, but is doing well and getting stronger everyday - we're hopeful she will come home within the next week or so.






























Welcome to the world Haven...we love you!

You're single as...well, single

Like I said…guys pick-up lines are just getting better and better. Here’s another example that happened to a friend of mine [did you all read that? This did NOT happen to me, so although it is told in first person – cause my friend sent it to me – it is not my story…OK…let’s get to it]:

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I went to a good friends wedding and was having a great time. Across the room I saw Wedding Crasher, I knew him from church growing up but had not seen him in quite some time. Wedding Crasher is HOT [like, walk into an Abercrombie they're putting him in the catalog HOT] but he was the guy who went to church camp solely for the girls, you know, the kind who would try to sneak away with someone during the campfire or the night game. Wedding Crasher is the guy who goes to weddings just to scope out the single girls.

I was dancing with the only other single and eligible girls at the wedding, and we all just rolled our eyes at Wedding Crasher before then accepting his request for a dance. I enjoyed a couple harmless dances with him before the time came for the exit of the bride and groom. And almost as if Wedding Crasher had been cued, at the time of the exit, he walked up to me…

Wedding Crasher: "So, you're single as fuck
Me: "Uh..." [cuz I suppose this is partially true]
Wedding Crasher: [slips hand around friend’s waist] "And you're looking pretty good tonight."
Me: "Ha..." [but this is unquestionably true]
Wedding Crasher: "And chances are you'll probably make out with somebody tonight.
Me: "Oh yeah?" [and by now I'm just curious...]
Wedding Crasher: "And that somebody will probably be me."

Wedding Crasher is not one for subtlety. And I like subtlety in a man...so instead of going to a random party to make out that night I found myself driving home, 2 hours in the opposite direction of that horny boy.

Too bad I'm white

I just learned this last week that I weigh more cause I am white.























Thankfully, even though I am white, there is hope for me. All I had to do was fill out a couple questions (three EASY steps!) and then I qualified for....tea?





I am not kidding.
"But I drink tea all the time," you might say.
This is different, this is no ordinary tea...LOOK HOW IT WORKS!

















The fat in my body doesn't stand a CHANCE!

Could our world come up with anymore ridiculous diets? Please. Women need more things to obsess about and then "fail" at.

Should a guy say I love you first?

So, our last poll was pretty split. Should a guy be the first one to say I love you? Do you think it freaks them out if the girl says it first? Maybe it is a sense of “power” – no one wants to be the first one to say it because they want to make sure that the other one is in it as much as they are. They don’t want to seem too needy or vulnerable.
But all of this seems to come from such a selfish view of love, one that is threatened by the relationship and looking for what they can TAKE from it rather than what they can give TO it.
I don’t think it should matter. I guess my last two options were essentially saying the same thing [although I think what I was getting at is it actually DOESN’T matter as opposed to it SHOULDN’T matter…get it? Anyway.] I think it comes out of the heart that is saying I love you. Why are you saying it? Is it expressing something deep within you? Is it for the sake of the other? Does it benefit the two of you? Then why hold back? I don’t think the guy has to be the first to say it. The girl is just as much a part of that relationship as the man is and HE has just as much of a need to feel loved, validated and needed as the woman does.
But I am interested to hear from the 33% of you that said the man should say it first. I think I voted that way on one of my computers [Cat’s out of the bag…I vote twice on my own polls. Is that pathetic?] Where does this viewpoint stem from? Why do you think it needs to be the man that says I love you first?

Just let me do my job

Shall we share another funny hit-on story? This friend of mine doesn’t even need to be SEEN to get hit on…

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Mid-afternoon phone call:

Caller: Hi, I'd like to pay my matriculation fee over the phone.
Friend: OK, sure! Let me just pull up your file here...[pause]...oh yes...I believe we've actually spoken before!
Caller: Yes! Do you recognize my voice because you thought my voice was cute?
Friend: [???!!! nervous laughter ???!!!] Well, I actually don’t think in those terms anymore since I've gotten married...
Caller: Oh, well, since you are married, you can be more objective now!
Friend: [more nervous laughter] You know - I just don't think in those terms!
Caller: Oh well [he proceeds to tell me credit card number and then confirms that the matriculation fee is $100]
Friend: Actually, the matriculation fee is only $50 for your program.
Caller: Did I get a discount because my voice is cute?
Friend: hehehe - NO - the program fee is just $50 - for everyone.

---------------------------------
On second thought…maybe this boy just had low self-esteem, I am SURE you had a very cute voice weird man. :)

Rejection

Let’s talk about rejection…

This is a fun topic that I am sure none of you have ever had to deal with. Still, I am going to take a moment to share with you the appropriate way to reject someone and then handle it:

To do this I will first share with you a semi-recent [bad example of a] conversation I had with a boy humbling myself to share my feelings with him. Now…this might not be word for word, I can’t remember EXACTLY what I said in this scarring conversation, I just remember it was brilliant.

Yeti: I want to like you, I mean I do like you, and I perceive your intentions and actions as leading me there. However, I remember when we first started talking you mentioned that you get in trouble for being the “nice guy” and I have had that little worry in the back of my mind. So, if I am reading you wrong I just need to know and you need to back off.

Boy: [deep inhale] I thought this was what you were going to talk to me about. [insert long awkward pause] I just don’t think this [insert hand gesture waving between the two of them] has anything to offer me.

Yeti: [speechless at this point – she HAS just learned that she has nothing to offer this man…she pretty much says nothing more and just lets the boy marinate in the awkward silence, fumbling to try and explain what he ACTUALLY MEANT for the rest of the walk home]

So the point of me sharing my pain[fully awkward story]: when a girl is vulnerable and tells you she likes you, don’t make her feel even smaller in the process. How SHOULD you respond?

Whether it is a lie or not [sometimes it's OK to lie], tell the girl that you are FLATTERED with what she has just shared with you, you are sorry if you gave her the wrong impression, and unfortunately you do not feel the same way – you enjoy her friendship immensely [OK, that word is optional, but it is nice] but are not interested in pursuing a relationship. We still need to hear the truth, but you don’t need to tell us we have nothing to offer.

And women, if a man has just told you the unfortunate yet gracious truth listed above, take it like a champ and move on. Don’t ask the dreaded “Why” question. That will only lead to uncomfortable “nothing to offer” or “use this cellulite cream” conversations. Don’t put the guy in that position. I don’t think THAT moment is when you want to learn about your bad breath. And PLEASE, never ever beg [cry, throw a fit, throw things at him, yell, stomp, hit, drive your car off a cliff...]. Ultimately, you don’t want to change yourself for him and convincing him to love you would not lead to a happily-ever-after. It might provide a temporary fix, but it would eventually all come crashing down.

And if all these roles are reversed (women rejecting men) do the same, men’s hearts are fragile too [but they also have bad breath].

I can’t be trusted alone

It’s true when left to my own devices I am, quite frankly, a loser. The last date I had was a rotic [romantic without the man, get it? Not roMANtic, but rotic? I digress].

It was a Friday night and I had no plans so I decided to stay in. I had a steak in the fridge and thought it might be a good time to grill it up. I don’t have a grill so that part of the plan fell threw, but I decided to cook it up anyway. I threw together a creative [disgusting] concoction and threw it all in the oven.

While I waited for that to cook I popped open a bottle of wine (it was white) and threw in a romantic comedy, I believe the winner of the night was “You’ve Got Mail!”

I was enjoying my evening home alone. Delicious steak, bottle of wine, good movie…and even some chocolate chip cookies my roommate’s boyfriend had made and dropped off when they stopped in for a quick minute.

The fault of my evening came at TWO points.

Point ONE: I decided it would be a REALLY good idea to have a cigarette. I had only ever had one in my life and tonight seemed like a GREAT time to have my second one. We happened to have some in the house because of a party we had had the weekend before so I grabbed one and headed out to the patio. After a miserable 10 minutes of choking and coughing I came in satisfied [ah, yes, that is why I don’t smoke].

Point TWO: I actually finished the entire bottle of wine…BY MYSELF. That’s what you do on a date, right? Drink a nice bottle of wine? Only this bottle of wine was two-buck Chuck and I was on a date with myself.

Needless to say I crawled to bed not feeling so good. The mixture of ingredients I had put on my steak tasted weird, I drank a whole bottle of wine myself and the cigarette had just muddled them all together in a sickening way.

[2:00am Yeti's immediate roommate comes home from whatever evening activity she has been apart of. She silently enters room and begins quietly navigating around. Suddenly, Yeti's sits up in bed, moans slightly, and then vomits profusely all over the carpet next to her bed.]

Liz: Holy Crap!! Are you ok?

Now, I will confess, I do not remember much about the evening from this point on. I remember sitting in front of the toilet for a while to puke a couple more times while my ever so loving and gracious roommate cleaned up my vomit from the carpet. Apparently Liz and I had a whole conversation; she tells me I asked about her evening, told her some fun facts about Will Smith and then crawled myself back into bed.

And that, my friends, is what happens when I am left alone on a Friday night.
Please…someone find me a boyfriend.

No pressure

No pressure...

Good Thing I'm Smart

Three girls are standing in line to attend a taping of "So You Think You Can Dance"

One of them looks to her left and sees a billboard advertising the show "Big Bang Theory"

The board reads as follows: Smart is the new Sexy!

Friend: "Yeti, look, you're in luck!"

Cheating

Sadly, we live in a world where cheating is a pretty common occurrence. Olivia posted a story that talked about this idea last week and it got me thinking. We want openness and honesty in a relationship, but could we really bring ourselves to trust and be in a relationship with someone that has cheated before?

As Olivia pointed out in her post, I don’t really understand the concept. Maybe I am misunderstanding it all, but I don't understand men or women who allow themselves to be 'the other.’ Why would you want to fool around with someone who is already in a relationship? Do you feel like they care about you more? Is there a thrill that is there for you? As Olivia put it, “for me, the fact the guy was willing to cheat would be a turn-off!”…AMEN!

So, what about you? Would you be willing to date someone you know has cheated in the past? Or would you be willing to start up a relationship with someone who has yet to break it off with their current boy/girlfriend?

Could you actually trust this person enough to be in a relationship – or would you always be watching your back, suspicious of everything and every relationship they have?
But on the other hand is there room for grace and forgiveness? And where do we draw the line…

Lalalalalala

I had a friend once tell me to never stop singing because you never know when you’re going to run into a guy that just melts when a girl can sing. “For some guys that’s it – the stuff” he tells me.
The other day I was just singing my little heart out in my car as I waited for my friend outside her apartment complex. A guy walked by, stopped and watched me for a few seconds, nodded his head and gave me the “yeah, girl.” Then he did the smile wink and went about his way.
Hmm, maybe that friend’s advice was not so bad.
...And I think it works the other way around too.

The doctors office

Want to know where a BAD place to meet people is? A doctor’s office. You’re coughing, probably with some contagious disease, I feel like crap – neither of us is putting out our best game. Let’s just hope fate brings us together at a Starbucks or bar some other time cause you ain’t gunna get much out of me right now.
And let’s face it, guys are really bad at reading signs and cues normally – but they are even worse at a doctor’s office. See this magazine I am holding up in front of my face? This means I want you to get away from me and stop talking to me. And when I am crunched over like this it means I don’t feel well. I don’t normally wear my sweats out in public, this is just the first time I have been out of the house all day and the thought of putting on jeans just seemed like more effort then I wanted to give.
Why do the waits at these offices have to be so long?

Good news guys, you can use hair products

**This is what the print on the ad says:
"Real guys don’t want phony-looking hair. That’s why they use Consort.
Consort leaves hair clean. Natural. Yet in control. The price is right. And professionals have made it their No. 1 choice for years.
Consort Hairspray. It makes a real guy look real good."

Who should pay on a date?

I almost made this post simply: “well, duh!” but then I guess, perhaps, I could write more…

The [not so] age-old question. I know what I want to answer to be, and perhaps that is why so many of us women voted that way? Wait, do only women read this blog? No, that can’t be – perhaps chivalry ISN’T dead.

Nevertheless, let’s talk about the obvious first problem we have here: the options in the poll. Let’s just say I got more then one frustrated email. Let me just say I'm sorry I did not provide you with adequate options and I admit this.

One such emailer suggested I should have had options like “whoever asked the other one out” or “depends on the arrangement” [which I don’t know if I really get that second one]. But I understand what he is getting at.

Perhaps it should not always fall on the man to pay – that’s a bit conservative and traditional of us to assume. But then maybe this whole topic falls in line with your thoughts on whether girls should ask out guys – should they then be initiating in paying and taking on more “traditional male roles” when it comes to the dating scene?

I think it should just be whoever makes more. Each of you should be required to bring a pay stub with you to compare once the bill comes; whoever made more that week/month will grab the bill.

Two months pregnant and didn’t even know it

I got this new salsa shirt that I think is hot [am I allowed to say that about myself?]. The thing with salsa is…it doesn’t matter how good of a dancer you are, if you wear a boob shirt guys will ask you to dance like crazy. This shirt isn’t necessarily a boob shirt, but at least it is not a turtleneck.

As my roommate and I were walking through Old Town to Vive there were two men on the side of the street that asked us for money to get on a bus to Santa Monica. I can’t remember why, to see their girlfriends or something? Anyway, we told them we did not have any, sorry, and proceeded to wait for the crosswalk to change so we could cross the street.

Man #1: Are you pregnant?
Yeti: Excuse me?
Man #2: Dude, you ain’t supposed to ask that.
Man #2 But look at her, I think she’s pregnant. You are, ain’t you?
Yeti: [doesn’t really say anything, just fumbles with her words…uhh….um….]
Erika: Yes, she is two months.
Yeti sends Erika a look of shock and confusion
Man #1: See, I told ya. Well congratulations!
Yeti: Thank you?

The crosswalk changes so we can walk across the street. As we walk Erika turns to me and says, “I just figured they wouldn’t hit on or mess with a pregnant woman so it was the best way to get them to leave us alone.”

Ah well, taking one for the team I suppose. And I still haven’t decided if I am going to wear that shirt again…

My Facebook Status

There is something interesting about what happens when you update a facebook status. I can say something like "Yeti is salsa dancing” and no one says anything, but when just a couple weeks ago I came out with "Yeti is having a hard time believing in love” everyone felt like they needed to chime in.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I hate it when people put their ish up on facebook. The whole world does not need to hear the crap going on in your life in a status update – but this was different [trust me]. I can, however, understand how people so easily misinterpreted what I was saying.

Here are a couple responses I got:
“Hang in there sweetie”
“You also, huh?”
“You must believe in love!”
“I’m with you on that one”
“Hang in there.”
“Woah, that is an intense status message. Not sure what’s going on but I sure hope things are ok!”
“He’s out there somewhere, just be patient.”
“Be patient – all in good time. When it’s right, it’s right.”
“Although being patient stinks…it really is worth waiting for the guy that will make the whole wait worth it.”
“Hard time believing in it? Well...it sounds like at least you know it exists!! When in doubt...I always just say ‘God, you're runnin the show, not me.’ You know whatever he has going on for you- is for a reason!!”
“Love exists because GOD IS LOVE!”

I also got several private messages encouraging me.

Let me be honest, my discouragement was not about me “oh poor me, I’m single,” it was more about the way I ache with those around me. I have lots of friends that are struggling right now: being cheated on, feeling trapped, walked out on by a spouse, dishonesty, etc.

It is just difficult for me to believe in love when more and more everyday I think what my parents have is one in a trillion.

BUT mainly the point of this is be careful when choosing a facebook status message…cause people will just start assuming things and then advising you accordingly.

Happy 31st Anniversary Mom and Dad

You inspire me. I am so thankful for parents like you that have provided me with such a wonderful example of true and unconditional love. It hasn’t been easy (probably cause of us kids ☺) but you two have worked hard, committed to one another, and made a choice to love one another no matter what. I pray that one day I can be half as happy as you and one day and find someone I can enter into a committed faithful relationship with.

Siennaaaaaa

Now here is an interesting commercial, have you seen it yet? My friend Olivia pointed it out to me. I actually hate car commercials - I think they are a waste of air time on the airwaves, but this one is kind of funny.

It is for the new Toyota Sienna 2008. The woman says "say it again" and the man whispers "five-star safety rating" and the women lets out a little moan like she's having an orgasm. I read somewhere it is supposed to be a little play on the Calvin Kline Obsession commercials.

Now, I've never been turned on by a car, let alone a mini-van, but maybe that's just cause I've never tried the Toyota Sienna...

I could not download the actual video so I have to send you to an exterior link: you can watch it here. Or by clicking on the picture

Thanks, Capital One

I would like to thank my credit card for having faith that I can one day find love - and even believeving that I might have it right now. [I would also like to NOT thank them for reminding me that I do not in fact have it and, therefore, have absolutely no need for this letter...which is actually now the fourth copy I have received]






















Come back to me in another few years...

Creepy Party Guy

I went to a party a while ago where I knew no one other then the birthday girl. She is a good friend of mine and I love her to death so I really wanted to make an appearance even though I don’t generally love these kinds of situations. The party was going great until I met "The Hunter.” He was awkward and tried to make jokes and sweat a lot and would not take a hint and leave me alone. No matter where I went in the various rooms he would follow me around. I can’t say I blame him, I was looking pretty HOT! But I ended up leaving the party around 9:00p because I could not take him anymore. I had dodged giving him my number three times (!) and had him trying to go salsa dancing with me the next evening. Get a clue dude.
It is always sad when you put all this effort into getting dressed up to enjoy a party and have to leave by 9:00p because some guy won’t stop following you. Luckily Ipp met me for drinks and the whole evening did not go to waste.
Since this time I have been invited to several parties/gatherings that I notice this gentleman has also been invited to. And I just think it is a shame that every time he RSVP’s yes to a party I am pretty sure I will no longer be interested in going. I just don't think the party of a mutual friend is the place to come on so strongly. Feel it out, sure - but when she starts running away from you and making excuses like "they probably don't have any pens here" when you ask her for her number, GIVE UP!

An Open Letter to Mark Kanemura

My Dearest Mark,

First let me say that you have done a phenomenal job on So You Think You Can Dance. Top 6!! Amazing. [And I think you owe that to me, I vote for you A LOT last week – and I am pretty sure my friends are still mad at me. Will was pretty amazing. I digress.] I have enjoyed watching all [ok, most] of your dances. Each week I scream for joy like Mary as I put you on my hot tamale train [it also help me block out the harsh comments from the judges.] And you make one hot cowboy.




















I don’t think all of the criticism that has come upon you has been fair. You have a lot of spirit and character when you dance and I just don’t think America was ready for your pizzazz.
I don’t know if you recognize me from my profile picture but I was actually at the Thursday taping on July 17th. Right there in the second row behind a bunch of 13 year olds. I cheered really loud. I was the girl that yelled “Mark, take off your shirt” at one point. Anyway, I was really sad when you were in the bottom two but REALLY glad when you didn’t get cut. That’s why I voted so hard this last week to keep you out of the bottom two.

So, my point is I don’t know if you like women or not, but if you do, I hope you’ll give us a chance. I think you are amazing. I just think we have a lot in common. You make really good facial expressions…I have a lot of facial expressions. You dance in weird and contorted ways…I can’t dance so that’s kind of how I end up looking. You’ve danced a Mia Michaels routine…I am obsessed with Mia Michaels. In your car you are a professional singer…my Toyota is a pretty big fan of me. It must be real.

So, Myspace me sometime. I know I can’t dance but I still think we could do it up real nice. In the words of Mia Michaels "you're so gorgeous I could stab you."

And let’s talk about the fact that I hate men in V-necks and I still love you, that has to say something…

Lovingly,
Yeti

Ew

I saw this on Michi's blog and it is..............................................................





















This is why I am opposed to name/people related tattoos

Two of my favorites

...and the darker?
...stronger?
...sweeter?

Myspace

I don't like myspace. I realize there are issues with facebook, but I really think there are less creeps on facebook then there are on myspace. For example:

Random Message:


















Random Friend Request:




















Um...no thank you. I don't really think myspace is the best place to hit on someone. And WHAT is a bunsss?

Who can ask who out?

There seems to be mixed opinions about whether girls should ask guys out. Granted a majority of you said YES (63%), but that still leaves 36% of you that said no. When you ask a guy about whether they like to be asked out or not you will get mixed answers. I had a guy friend...we'll call him Ankle...get asked out a while ago rather abruptly by a female friend. He did not see it coming at all - but apparently she had been rather interested in him for quite some time. She did it in a rather non-threatening way "so, when are you and I going to go out?" That's probably how I would do it. But it caught him so off guard he didn't really know what to do. He basically said some off-handed comment to change the subject. She then used humor to cover the fact that she had just been denied. He didn't know how to handle the fact that he had just been asked out. Maybe he is just “old-fashioned” or maybe he just doesn’t like to be put in that position? At any rate it is worth a conversation.

Should girls ask guys out? Why not? I guess it helps them understand what guys have to go through - and I guess guys then understand what girls have to go through when they are put on the spot having just been asked out - that pit in their stomach desperately wanting to say yes because they appreciate being asked but reeeeeeeeeally not wanting to go out with that person. Then right after or the next day you get the I was only kidding.....riiiiiight. But it’s OK, girls try to save face too.

I just think that all this talk about guys wanting girls to be more aggressive or forward and ask guys out is a bunch of bull. It is only true when THE girl they want to ask them out does. It is the same for us girls. We love being asked out…IF it is a guy we like is the one doing the asking. I don’t think guys would really like it if more girls started asking guys out – cause then they would be put in a lot more awkward situations. Guys just want the girls they are into to make it a little easier on them.

You won’t ever be lonely

Here’s another pick-up line for you. It’s been a while. This one is really pretty bad.

I went salsa dancing the other night [are you picking up that these guys are real winners?] I danced with this one not-awful-looking-but-really-short man about three times [His friend was suuuuuuuuuper gorgeous]. Later in the evening, after he had had a couple of drinks I am quite confident, he came up to ask me if I would be coming back to Vive next weekend.

Lonely: So, you’re going to come next week, right?
Yeti I am not sure.
Lonely: Why are you not sure? You have to come!
Yeti Well, my friend Erika is going to be out of town and I usually like to come with someone so we’ll see if I can find another friend to go with me. I don’t want to come alone
Lonely then slips his arm around Yeti's waist in an I’m-a-really-creepy-guy sort of way
Lonely: You might come alone but you won’t BE alone [wink]

Wow…if that doesn’t make me show up next week I don’t know what will.

Would you dance with me…forever

Two girls are out for a night on the town.
The activity of choice? Salsa.
Destination? The Granada.

Girls enter club and maneuver their way to the other side of the dance floor. Squints immediately spots the girls and makes his way over to their standing area. The girls dance several dances with strange older men when Squints finally gets up the nerve to ask one of them to dance.

The following conversation takes place while dancing:
Squints: So, are you here alone tonight?
Friend: No, I’m here with my friend Yeti. [she later realizes he was probably referring to a date/boy/fiancée/husband type of alone…nevertheless, we move on]
Squints: Are you single?
Friend: Yes, but…er…um…[I am working on teaching her how to lie better in these situations – although her extreme discomfort should have been a real clue to him]
Squints: What do you think the chances are of a guy like me hooking up with a girl like you?
Friend: Um….that’s a really hard question. Uh….er….

The two continue dancing as my friend fumbles over her words a bit and contemplates how to best handle the awkwardness that are these questions. Squints spins her around and then into himself.

Squints: You know, you can dance closer to me.
Friend: Uh….er…I’ve only had one dance class.

After this rather awkward dance our poor Squints tries to dance with her several more times. She eventually has to tell him she needs to sit out a few dances and rest in order to get rid of him. Gotta give it to him for putting it out there and going for what he wants. Bold Moves!

Cooking

So what if you don't wear a wonderbra and you can't cook??

Why Men Withdraw...the real post

I have a statcounter on this blog, that’s what the program is called. It tells me how many people come visit my blog, where they are from (like what state) and if someone uses a google search or something of that nature what keywords they used to hit my blog. All of this is VERY fascinating to me. Especially when I look at the recent trends of what people have been searching on google and hitting my blog….take a look:

[click to enlarge]













If you do not immediately see the pattern let me help you…MEN WITHDRAW. Apparently. Unfortunately the post I did on this was pitiful – not even worth being hit by all of these wondering and questioning women and life partners. [If you want to read it it is here]. But I wanted to address this topic in more then just a throwaway post because it seems the world wants to know.

Now here is my only problem, I have no clue. I haven’t had, what do you call it, a serious relationship. I haven’t even given a guy the chance to withdraw from me. But here is what I glean from my conversations with others. [And I also offer this as an open forum for you ideas and comments].

What does it mean when men want to withdraw? Why does this happen? It could happen at any time: during a fight, in the middle of what seems to be a pretty healthy relationship, or simply in general while eating McDonalds or watching PTI [OK, that could just be because you are trying to talk while PTI is on…]

The trouble is every guy is different and there could be a million different reasons. All of you women searching for THE reason your guy is withdrawing – you aren’t going to find it here on the internet. Perhaps he is afraid of intimacy or the needed risk he must take to keep the relationship growing. Or perhaps he is afraid of losing you and would rather sabotage things (read as withdraw) and feel in control of the situation then end up getting hurt. Perhaps he has attachment issues.

Or maybe we are giving them all just too much credit. Maybe if they withdraw they just aren’t that into you…perhaps this is their way of slowly and subtly cutting it off hoping you’ll do it first?

At any rate…men, withdrawing isn’t working. The strong silent type attracted us, we liked that you were so mysterious, but now we need more.

Sometimes it is OK to not say anything

I realize when we are in a relationship we like to show how committed we are. We like to prove to the person that no matter what, despite what imperfections there may be about you (or you THINK there may be about you) I choose you. But sometimes it is OK not to get too specific about that. Here are a few examples from girlfriends of mine:

“I like you for your imperfections.”
“Like what?” [you are in trouble when she asks this question…then again you never should have said she had imperfections you were aware of]
“Like your fuzzy face”

“I like that one little yellow front tooth you have”

“I like how your upper lip sweats” [she didn’t even KNOW that it did that until those “sweet” boyfriend of hers so lovingly pointed it out]

"I like when your mouth gets all sort of deformed to the left side when you try to talk about serious things."

"I like those two crater scares on your forehead."

It’s like Rachel says in FRIENDS…how would you feel if all the worst things you ever thought about yourself you just found out the one person you trusted more then anyone else in the world was thinking those same things? We don’t really need to hear you acknowledge our fuzzy face, yellow teeth and sweaty lips…

Marketing Position Open??

I just can't help but think Baja Fresh needs to get a new web designer or marketing campaign manager, cause this web page is not good. It doesn't really sound like they are selling food. But keep reading if you want to know How to Get Fresh...

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Wedgies

I love holidays. Getting a day off work is wonderful. I am a big fan of sleeping in and running my own schedule (which typically won’t involve answering a phone or sitting in front of a computer). This most recent holiday, the celebration of our countries birthday, was wonderful. I was lazy all day long, which is just how vacations are supposed to be.

My roommates and I decided to take a walk to Starbucks for a little afternoon treat. On our way back home there was a car with a couple of guys in it stopped at a light watching us as we used the crosswalk. Now, we are three good-looking girls. We were walking, laughing, and having a pretty good time. I think the guys were enjoying watching us….until…

“Damn, why’d you have to do that???” I hear one of them yell out of the car window in a seemingly frustrating tone.

We all ignored him and just kept walking, but I asked my roommates if I had just heard what I thought I had…they concurred. Apparently guys don’t know that girls get wedgies and have to pick them. Sorry to ruin whatever illusion you were enjoying strange man. I should be smoother about picking them on street corners next time.