12.31.2008

99 [almost good and realistic] date ideas

Here you are my creatively challenged friends. Date ideas. Scratch your heads no more. When planning a date for you and that special someone...consult this post and worry no more.

1. Fly to Canada. Possibly jump in a lake.
2. Cook dinner.
3. Go to a bookstore: I choose the book you have to read and you choose what I read - and drink coffee.
4. Go to the beach.
5. Break into a bakery and bake a cake.
6. Climb a tree and order food to be delivered to the tree.
7. Go to a happy hour
8. Help me with my homework (insert other project if you are not as lucky as me to be in school right now).
9. Make a spreadsheet for something pointless.
10. Go ride the ferris wheel in santa monica
11. Pan handle.
12. Make prank calls.
13. Drive to Vegas. Play one hand of blackjack.
14. Go to the Dresden.
15. Go to the Edison.
16. Go to a kareoke bar and sing "Eye of the Tiger"
17. Get a manicure and pedicure.
18. Watch a movie you own that you've never watched
19. Watch a season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S
20. Drink tea for 6 hours without eating anything.
21. Go to Venice beach and take pictures of the freakish people
22. Eat Indian food.
23. Play Wii Tennis/Bowling
24. Go dancing
25. Download free applications onto your iPhone (if neither of you have an iPhone please disregard this suggestion)
26. Play Phase 10.
27. Eat cookie dough.
28. Write poetry
29. Dye our hair.
30. Cut our hair.
31. Repaint your room.
32. Watch Planet Earth.
33. Watch samurai movies.
34. Drink boxed wine.
35. Make pancakes.
36. Hand out Obama pamphlets.
37. Start an online company.
38. Sell all your books on Amazon.
39. Re-watch all the presidential debates.
40. Try to achieve an adrenaline high by getting birds to chase us.
41. Write up a subpoena for an obnoxious neighbor (anonymously).
42. See how many drinks it takes until you vomit.
43. Listen to Christmas music and make cookies.
44. Go grocery shopping.
45. Catch a bad comedy show (I am just assuming it will be bad...we could be pleasantly surprised)
46. Have a long drawn out conversation about our feelings.
47. Buy a CD and sing along while driving up the PCH.
48. Go to Compton.
49. Wash my car.
50. Call our moms.
51. Start a fight club.
52. Eating tour [insert your city] progressive dinner style (a. drinks b. appetizers c. main course d. dessert e. coffee).
53. Buy sponge bob paraphernalia.
54. Go trick-or-treating and see how much candy we can get.
55. Make it a theme night: musical - we must sing everything; British - must talk in an accent.
56. Fly a kite.
57. Go skydiving.
58. Buy new shoes.
59. Drive to Mexico and do tequila shots.
60. Take music lessons. I'll play the mandolin and you play the banjo - we'll become a bluegrass band.
61. Go to the Observatory.
62. Pack and picnic.
63. Be a DD for some drunken friends.
64. Build-A-Bear.
65. Fly to Paris for dinner (this is only if you are paying).
66. Hang out with my roommates.
67. Go listen to live music.
68. Translate parts of the Bible from Hebrew or Greek.
69. Roast marshmallows for smoars over the stove.
70. Look through old yearbooks.
71. Go mini-putting.
72. Make a mixed-tape.
73. Read to children at the hospital.
74. Have a food fight.
75. Make a homemade pizza.
76. Construct an igloo in your living room.
77. Take a night hike.
78. Play 20 Questions.
79. Watch the episode of 90210 I missed.
80. Take a picture of you using every kitchen appliance your grandma never thought you would.
81. Walk a neighbor's dog.
82. Watch the SciFi Channel.
83. Try to run over some cats. (sorry, Erika)
84. Watch old episodes of American Gladiators online.
85. Sample different cheeses.
86. Buy each other gifts at the 99c store.
87. Try our hand at graffiti art.
88. Skateboard with the punk kids outside the Paseo.
89. Make out.
90. Make a video to up on YouTube.
91. Go get ice cream.
92. Test-drive really nice and expensive cars.
93. Pretend we just got engaged and see how many free drinks we can get at bars.
94. Go ride a mechanical bull.
95. Build a fort.
96. Go to a play or musical.
97. Workout at the gym.
98. Just stare and gaze into each other's eyes.
99. Play pictionary.

What are YOUR great date ideas? [realistic or not, you know, whatever]

12.30.2008

12.29.2008

An oldie but a goodie

On the off chance that some of you have not seen this, I share with you one of the greatest duo's of all time...

12.26.2008

Happy day after christmas

I hope you got to spend time with the one you love.























Give them lots of gifts.























Kiss them under mistletoe.





















And I hope you got everything on YOUR wish list [especially that rifle].























12.24.2008

Awkward situation

#5: Getting hit on while on a date

This is especially awkward if you are interested in the individual hitting on you. There are very few smooth ways to pick up on one person while not letting the other one catch on.

It can be equally as awkward if you try and overcompensate with your date for having just been hit on.

12.23.2008

Wedding invitation ideas

This is another "goodie" passed along to me by Dodi, thanks!

If any of you are getting married in the near future and are looking for wedding invitation ideas, here's a GREAT one.























Taken from HERE.

12.18.2008

Knowing better

When we were having girls night the other night, this was the phrase that came out:
“I think she is one of the most intelligent yet least wise women I know”
























Why is this the case? Why do we women do this? We know better - we know what we ought to do and most of the time already know the answer to our questions we are asking. We are beautiful, clever, intelligent women but we are NOT WISE when it comes to relationships and the ooey-gooy feelings with boys. Boys get all up in our heads and make us forget how independent, gifted and confident we are.

12.17.2008

What goes around comes around

Remember when your mom used to say "I hope you have a kid just like you" - that works you know...




















**Thank you Dodi for passing this along.

12.16.2008

I'm not your mother

There are times I doubt I possess any sort of maternal instincts (or whatever it is I am supposed to have to make me a good mom someday). But then something like this weekend happens and I think…well…I guess I can’t be THAT far off:

I am walking through Target picking up a few toiletry items I was running low on when I heard a young voice coming from behind me.

When I turned around I realized a little boy was chasing me yelling:

Boy: Look daddy, there’s mommy!
Father: Where buddy?
Boy: Right theeeeeere!! [pointing at me]
Father: Oh, no, bud. That’s not her. [father picks son up]
Boy: Yes it is, I KNOW it [Boy faces me and starts yelling again] Mommy, mommy!

Um…actually, kid, your dad was right. I….don’t….really….know what to do. But the good news is that I apparently look like the kind of person that could be someone’s wife and mother. There’s hope after all.

12.15.2008

GREAT pickup line

Okay, there may be debate over whether this is a good pickup line or not.

I happen to think it is clever, juuuuuuust dorky enough, and adorable.

How much does a polar bear weigh?

It would work on me...

You?

12.12.2008

Seize the day

For all of you men who have yet to "go for it" with that girl you've had your eye one...this is for you. To inspire you. We're not going to wait around forever, and you can be certain we'll dig the attention that OTHER guy's going to give us. Maybe THIS Christmas season is the one to make it happen.

Cause, as Beyonce would say, if you like it you should put a ring on it...

12.11.2008

Kissing can do more harm than good

For those of you who have not heard yet...

A young Chinese woman was left partially deaf following a passionate kiss from her boyfriend.

The 20-something from Zhuhai in Guangdong province arrived at hospital having completely lost the hearing in her left ear, said local reports.

The incident prompted a series of articles in the local media warning of the dangers of excessive kissing.

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," wrote the China Daily.

The doctor who treated the girl in hospital was quoted in the paper explaining what had happened.

"The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear."

The chorus of warnings was echoed by the Shanghai Daily, which wrote: "A strong kiss may cause an imbalance in the air pressure between two inner ears and lead to a broken ear drum."

The young woman is expected to regain her full hearing within about two months.

----------------------------------
I sure hope it was worth it. And I hope you all find someone to make you go deaf this holiday season.

12.10.2008

Just in: some new ways to market yourself

.…maybe I’ll make some t-shirts:

Finding someone to be with is not just about what you have to offer – it is just as much about HOW you put it out there and present what it is you are bringing to the table

Here are some ideas for you [all brought to you by my friend, Mark]:

I am an eligible, non-diseased bachelor.

Loving cougar is not a crime.

Gold digging is an honorable profession.

Anyone else have some good t-shirt’s…or online profile slogans?

12.09.2008

Which is better: Cheese or Milk?

I was out to dinner with some college friends the other night when we got into an interesting conversation. I don’t really remember how it came up – maybe too much beer, but this is what a male at the table said:

“Women are like milk and men are like cheese, we get better with time. An aged cheese is quality and more expensive - no one wants curdled milk. Quality cheese is sought after, curdled milk is discarded, considered rotten and leaves a bad taste in your mouth, it only causes problems.”

Is this why men always tend to go younger, because they don’t like old milk?

12.08.2008

The ability to navigate

Let us chat about another one of these age-old stereotypes between men and women. The first stereotype blog was about the way men and women communicate.

This next stereotype is the fact that men have a great sense of direction and women are clueless.

Typically men know how to get somewhere, they have the instinct to figure out how to navigate themselves. I actually know this to be true of a few male friends of mine – one we even call Hydroquest because we can call him from anywhere we are lost and he’ll be able to get us home. And even if they get lost they’ll figure it out all on their own eventually (this is why they refuse to stop and ask for directions).

Then there are women. We have no idea where the heck we are going. If you give us directions somewhere you have to give us overly-explicit explanations which include things like “you’ll see a Target on your left and on your right there is a big bush that looks like Elmo with a mailbox on the corner. If you reach the red bard you’ve gone too far.” And even with this we’ll end up calling you once we pass the red bard by a mile and a half trying to figure out where we are.

I think this is one of the more false stereotypes – because let me just say I have been in the car with some REALLY clueless guys who to this day would not be home if it weren’t for me being in the car with them.

12.05.2008

Wishing for a white christmas

In honor of Christmastime being upon us, I would like to recommend to you a book. I have not read it, I recommend it purely based upon its cover.

"Don't judge a book by its cover," you say? HOW CAN YOU NOT when it looks THIS good?? Ladies, this is the key to getting men around Christmas. Wear a bonnet, bake a pie.























This publisher needs to be fired.

12.04.2008

Sometimes it pays to have that pretty face

I have asked a few of my girlfriends what free stuff they have gotten from flirting or just plain being beautiful...these are the responses I got. Please add some of your own:

a side of veggies
free entry to a club
drinks
got a fake nail repaired because of my "beautiful face"
free ride at the state fair
a flight to Cabo San Lucas [too bad it was to visit the guy offering it...she declined]
free sweet factory candy
free fries at Ricks
ball of yarn [the guys mother ran a yarn shop]
pair of earrings [he actually took them from his sister]
free ear buds from the apple store
a hand-sketched drawing of Jesus Christ
a tapestry
a pound of beef jerky

What have YOU gotten (or given...)?

12.03.2008

You voted for WHO?

Would you date someone that voted differently than you in this last campaign?

And the poll results are in…
30% of you said Yes, difference is good
10% of you said No
53% of you said it depends on what issues you differ
6% said Yes because you do not talk about politics and you would keep it that way

I am not really going to share any political views of my own here; I do not want to get into any debates about whether or not I hate babies, love God or believe in the constitution of marriage. I have been attacked enough already.

But this is an interesting question. Politics can be a touchy subject. I was going out with a guy for a bit just as the election race was heating up. We didn’t really chat much about politics. I even remember him one time saying to me “I don’t know how you are voting, I don’t really want to get into that, but…” Sometimes it is a subject we would just rather stay away from.

If I am honest, I really HATE talking about politics. I was very thankful that in this election I voted the same way as my beloved roommate [because that would have made the last couple of months interesting…she is not what you would call lacking in opinions] because having to have those discussions can be rather draining and emotional and blood-pressure-increasing.

I guess when it comes down to it I voted yes. But maybe the wording of my choices is not great (once again, what is new). I just can’t bring myself to be a two-issue voter which many of my friends admitted to being in this last election. And if someone did not agree with them in either of these two issues, they certainly would not have dated them. I guess I think you need to have a well-rounded perspective, which then leaves room for the grey areas [I realize some people don’t think these areas exist, well, then don’t date me].

Bottom line: Obama is not the antichrist and you should not break-up if your significant other voted for him.

12.02.2008

Welcome to the family

I was in line at Starbucks the other day [this is a rare thing, I know] behind two attractive teenage females. The barista was a young college boy. You see what is coming.

He seemed quite taken by one of the females that graced his cash register. My favorite was his opening line:

Barista: You look EXACTLY like my sister.
Female: Really? No way! That’s awesome. [faaaaar too excited about this probably false comparison]
Barista: Seriously. Well, take your sunglasses off.
Female removed her sunglasses.
Barista: Yep, pretty close. I love your eyes they’re really pretty.
Female: [giggle giggle] Thanks! That’s awesome!

To be honest, I tuned out after that. I am sure it went somewhere like “yeah, I am pretty sure this means you would fit perfectly into my family. We should get married. I love you.” I am not quite sure – but he seemed to be headed in that direction.

And I realize I was wearing sweatpants and a ragged t-shirt, but I REALLY think he should have given me more attention then he did and calling me madam didn’t make me feel any younger or more attractive.

12.01.2008

Making history

FADE IN:

INT. VIVE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

A salsa club is filled with local residents talking loudly and dancing as the Latin music sounds over the speakers fitting in with the local decor and ambiance.

Next to the live band a middle-aged man wearing a vest, a tie with no collar, fake oakley's, a bluetooth and alligator boots dances by himself drawing in a crowd of spectators. Next to him an older couple slowly dances the cha cha as if no one else is around.

YETI sits alone next to the bar drinking a glass of water.

Yeti is attractive, in her 20's, has long brown hair and holds herself with confidence.

HISTORY, a plump, stout Mexican man in his early forties approaches Yeti.

HISTORY:
(holding out his left hand)
You, me, right here, right now.

YETI:
What?

HISTORY:
Would you like to dance?

YETI:
(taking a sip of water)
Oh...sure.

History leads Yeti onto the dance floor bumping her into several different people. He turns her around abruptly so she is facing him.

HISTORY:
(in a suave tone)
Let's....make....history

History then proceeds to give Yeti the thumbs up while simultaneously saying "Yessssssssss" every time they correctly executed a dance move.

HISTORY:
You are very mysterious. This is good. Mysterious is more attractive.

YETI:
Okay?

At the end of the dance History holds up all ten of his fingers declaring Yeti's perfect score for how beautifully she had danced...then points to himself and graciously gives a nine.

History then escorts Yeti back to the bar while muttering under his breath "thank you thank you thank you thank you."