12.03.2008

You voted for WHO?

Would you date someone that voted differently than you in this last campaign?

And the poll results are in…
30% of you said Yes, difference is good
10% of you said No
53% of you said it depends on what issues you differ
6% said Yes because you do not talk about politics and you would keep it that way

I am not really going to share any political views of my own here; I do not want to get into any debates about whether or not I hate babies, love God or believe in the constitution of marriage. I have been attacked enough already.

But this is an interesting question. Politics can be a touchy subject. I was going out with a guy for a bit just as the election race was heating up. We didn’t really chat much about politics. I even remember him one time saying to me “I don’t know how you are voting, I don’t really want to get into that, but…” Sometimes it is a subject we would just rather stay away from.

If I am honest, I really HATE talking about politics. I was very thankful that in this election I voted the same way as my beloved roommate [because that would have made the last couple of months interesting…she is not what you would call lacking in opinions] because having to have those discussions can be rather draining and emotional and blood-pressure-increasing.

I guess when it comes down to it I voted yes. But maybe the wording of my choices is not great (once again, what is new). I just can’t bring myself to be a two-issue voter which many of my friends admitted to being in this last election. And if someone did not agree with them in either of these two issues, they certainly would not have dated them. I guess I think you need to have a well-rounded perspective, which then leaves room for the grey areas [I realize some people don’t think these areas exist, well, then don’t date me].

Bottom line: Obama is not the antichrist and you should not break-up if your significant other voted for him.

9 comments:

Olivia McCain said...

my boyfriend and i voted for Obama and it was fun talking about the election together, watching Meet the Press together, and then watching Obama give his victory speech in Grant Park together. I'm glad he and I have this history and these memories together.

but there is one major political issue that we disagree on. i've chosen to just not talk about it. neither one of us is going to change each other's mind, so why not talk about something more fun like movies and books.

good question, Yeti. :) keep 'em coming.

and ps) i love the phrase "i hate babies" hahaha

B-W said...

This is only laterally-related to what you actually posted, but I think is an underlying issue. I do think that it's important to know what your own personal "non-negotiable" issues are, and as a relationship gets deeper, to know where your significant other is on those non-negotiables. There should only a be few, and that's obviously not to say you bring it up on a first date, or even in the first month or so. But certainly before you're committed to seeing that person down the aisle.

It's true of other relationships, too. For an increasingly off-topic example, as a seminary graduate, it's probably not entirely unexpected that I'm looking for some variety of church work. One of my "non-negotiables" there is that I won't work for a church that prohibits women as pastors/church leaders, a priori. I'm probably more "negotiable" about how "fully inclusive" they are than my wife would be, but if they won't even consider it, that's the non-starter for me.

JD said...

First, I think it's funny that Olivia McCain voted for Obama. Haha.

And also, I went on a date with a guy on election night and so politics just came up.. and there were a few problems with what he had to say.

1) He would have voted for Obama but he didn't because he knew Georgia would go McCain. Fine, you're apathetic, I get it. Kind of a turn off, though...

2) I brought up Reagan and he said "yeah, I would totally vote for Reagan if he were alive and could run again."

Um... Obama and Reagan??????? They are like POLAR opposites. That doesn't even begin to make sense.

I guess my point is, I could date someone who differed from me as long as they knew WHY they/I/we differed. Pretty open-minded for a heartless conservative, right? :)

Jeffery said...

Yeah, its true that Obama is not the anti-Christ. And it's probably not reasonable to break up with someone simply over whom they voted for, unless of course they're of the opinion that their beloved politician is, or is akin to, the second coming.

During this last election season I couldn't help but notice a lot of people becoming more passionate about electing certain people and not electing certain people, they know next to nothing about apart from press releases, than they are about religion, interpersonal relationships, health, virtue, or a litany of other things I'd like someone I'm dating to be passionate about.

Anonymous said...

Nuke a gay whale for Jesus.

Anonymous said...

I think I voted yes, difference is good. But I didn't mean it. I meant "It depends on what issues you differ"

And it depends on whether we differ on my non-negotiables. They are my non-negotiables because I have considered them intellectually and spiritually and truly believe that they are the right thing to believe. So, in all honesty, as an opinionated person, it's hard enough for me to think that someone else could genuinely come down differently than me on those issues. So I would feel like I always had to be in dialogue with the person in order to convince them of the truth... A bad dynamic in a relationship. I have this problem with thinking that people who think differently than me are uninformed and not just that they disagree. And I know this is a problem.

But frankly, it's a problem I don't want to have to work out with the person I date. Election season has this way of leading people on every side to doubt each other's fundamental character as a person. I don't want to get into all that with someone I'm dating during election season.

Moral of the story: I'd rather be making out with him.

jk

S. said...

It seems wierd to me that people are so into their politics that it's a deal breaker on the dating front. I can't imagine being dumped because I really don't care all that much.

Olivia McCain said...

JD - you would not believe how weird the past year has been, having the last name in McCain. It got me seated at a restaurant quite quickly last spring. It got my name taken off the standby list at the airport 2 months ago. I hate having to give my last name in public places.

JK - that's an AWESOME moral to your story!!

Anonymous - I once had a shirt made up for a friend that said "nuke the gay whales for jesus". i saw it on a bumper sticker once. you're the only other person i know who has seen that same slogan! :)

yanela and mark said...

interestingly enough, politics became an issue with my family, and some really close friends because having a theological reason to not vote angered them.

i gave some brief mennonite musings on government and god, on caesar and tax, etc. but nobody was satisfied. i told them i followed news, and knew what each candidate stood for, no love. i even told them i am granted the right not to vote, but was seen as unpatriotic, from dems, gop's and indys....amazing.

oh well. at the end of day, i guess im excited that we don't have to call it the white house anymore...j/k