Letters to Strangers

Dear People of the Internet,

Could someone out there please tell me what an appropriate first message to a guy online is?

I wrote this once: “Hey there! I thought you were attractive and cool…and then I saw you were also a 49ers fan! Doesn’t get much better than you!”

To be fair, he wrote back: “Thank you! Who’s got it better than us? Nobody! Duh.”

My roommate immediately mocked me. A lot. With a nice condescending pat on the shoulder while saying “it’s okay, we can fix this”

So I beg of you – tell me what my opening line SHOULD have been?



Imagine the most gorgeous diamond ring ever (prettier than this random photo I found). That's my grandmothers ring that will one day be mine you are picturing in your head right now. You know....if I ever meet a nice fella to marry.

Sometimes my mother wears this ring on her right hand. Cause, ya know, it is hers right now.

I am home for Christmas and she is wearing the ring. She points it out to me:

Mom: Did you notice the ring I am wearing?
Me: Yes. It is beautiful! I want it!
Mom: Well......maybe....a little extra motivation!

Yeah......motivation was what was holding me back from finding true love. Not the fact that I seem to attract weird, homeless, spineless, obsessed with spongebob square pants, guys.

Me: But I also get it if you die, right? So.....little extra motivation!


And then I never heard from him again...

December 8th:
Him: I think spending more time together would be really great.

December 17th
Him: Hey, sorry I've been MIA...pretty heavy week. And work has been nuts! How are you?

Me: Sorry it's been a rough week :( I'm doing great. Just counting down the hours until Christmas break.

Him: Dang girl! Leaving so soon! So are you free tomorrow evening at all?

Me: I am unfortunately unavailable. I have church small group from 7-9:30. I am free Thursday evening or possibly Friday.

....and then I never heard from him again.