I'm going back to PC...

Do you think he comes with it? [I bet he's checking his eHarmony]


Need a Ride?

My friend Macall is beautiful. She has a stunning smile and gorgeous blond hair. She is my buddy that I often take a morning coffee break with. We work at Fuller together so you can find her walking many of the same streets I do. It was only a matter of time until I had to share a few of her “pick-up” stories. Here’s one.

She was walking down the infamous Walnut street one afternoon running errands. A car drives up, slows down beside her and the driver begins to talk to her.

As Macall looks into the car she notices a young boy is in the back of the car, we assume his son.

The driver then proceeds to offer her a ride to wherever she is going: “Where you headed? I could give you a ride, I’m just on my way to the courthouse.”

Um…right. Like we’re going to get in the car with a random man, going to the courthouse, with his kid in the car.

…you need a new pick-up line


V-Neck Shirts

Confession: I can't handle guys in v-neck shirts.

Am I alone here? I guess I don't get the point. I get it a LITTLE more if you have lots of chest hair to show off [maybe my aversion is really to chest hair?] but still, I don't think I could ever go out with a v-neck wearing kind of guy.

Simon always wears them - and perhaps they are growing on me a bit but...I think perhaps this is WHY he ended up in the top 11 unsexiest men on the planet according to Maxim.

This one isn't as bad...but shouldn't this really be an undershirt....

Too low - too tight...and not OK if he looks better in it then I would

Bad...really bad. Take the leather off...


Back to the Quote Board

“I don’t understand why you don’t have a boyfriend, you have the greatest personality.” – Said by some guy to a female friend of mine.

“The thing is she is really emotionally unavailable. That’s probably part of the draw. Guys love the challenge.” -Female Friend
“She’s a slippery fish!” -Female Friend

“I mean, he’s turn your head hot. But then you know him and he’s not as sexy.” - Female Friend

“He’s like a stud that isn’t a stud.” - Female Friend

Yeti: He’s evolved, from a baby turtle to a….hmmm
Female Friend: Does he have to be an animal still?
Yeti: No, I don’t think so
Female Friend: Then I think he is a Prius
Yeti: Yeah, he’s evolved from cute like a baby turtle to a Prius.

“I wish I wanted to make babies with you but I don’t”- Said by a female in conversation with friends about a boy
“Maybe we can keep praying 'God, make him more attractive'” - Yeti

“You’re going out with some of Fuller’s finest tonight. Not some of the finest gentlemen, but finest looking" – Female Friend

“Don’t you find sometimes that when you talk about things you like that you just want to marry yourself? Cause you list these things you really like and you are all of them.” – Tiffany

“Someday you’ll meet a guy with balls” – Buhjuh


Buying Coffee

Married couples beware. You may think buying coffee is no big deal - but there are significant consequences if you get it wrong...

*Compliments of my friend Nicholas' blog



Let me update you on the Los Robles Man [if you don't know what I am talking about or need to know how on earth a random man on my street got my phone number, please read here].

He calls on Thursday evening. I didn't pick up because it was a number I didn't recognize and I screen all my calls. The most unoriginal and boring message I have ever heard. In the midst of deciding whether I should call back or not...I don't.

He calls again [remember, I have not called back] on Saturday morning. Props to him. I do not answer because I am out for a walk with my roommate grabbing Starbucks Coffee [sorry, Scott, they don't have a Meg's here, otherwise I would be drinking that EVERYDAY!] When I get back I listen to the message and it is pretty much just as boring as the first one. I don't really know WHAT I expect him to say, but I guess since he was the guy that pulled an illegal U-turn in the middle of the street I thought he might come up with someone better than "we met yesterday, feel free to give me a call" or "give me a call on this beautiful day". Hmmm. I don't call back.

He calls again Wednesday [still haven't called or seen or texted or sent him smoke signals]. I don't pick up because I am at work. OK, now I don't know whether to give him props or start shooting myself in the foot for having given my number to a persistent psycho. Same stupid message "it's such a beautiful day, but what would make it that much more beautiful for me is if I hear back from YOU." OK, little better than the other two but still trying-too-hard-smooth-guy cheesy [am I hard to please?].

The idea of going out with the guy neither excites nor freaks me out. I am rather indifferent. But I can't decide whether I want to waste an hour on what might be meeting up with a psycho or might be pleasant conversation - it is such a gamble.

And so I ask you...

I don't need any real fatherly advice here, I understand the whole "you don't owe him anything" stuff - but I can't really go back in time and take back my real phone number [unless one of you knows how to do this - if so please email me]. So, pressing ahead...let's see how many of you can come up with a brilliant plan for me!


The Single/Couple Relationship

Singles. Do they make married people uncomfortable? Like they get around them and they don’t really know how to act or what to say? Or is it that often the couples look at them with envy and wish they had their freedom?

That has long been a debate amongst us singles. Sure, we have couple-friends that are better at relating to us then others – there are the couples you love hanging out with and then the couples you have to pencil in on the calendar out of duty [or can only handle in large groups]. And you can even tell a noticeable change when one of your single friends becomes a “we” – they’re different around you then they used to be, especially if they are of the opposite sex [I know this is quite necessary most of the time].

I am told I will understand someday. That there are certain challenges and experiences that we as singles just can’t understand anymore that are best felt in the solidarity of a group of couples. And when the unknowing singles enter – it just creates a different atmosphere. But the divide has always made me chuckle. And my hunch is that in all these scenarios it depends on the couple: but some I think really are uncomfortable around singles and have no idea what to say – you were one of us once, is it so hard to remember?


Why Men Withdraw

Apparently the key to a healthy relationship is creating attraction [a.k.a. sexual tension]

[ad brought to you by myspace]

Then maybe he'll button his shirt back up and get rid of the hideous necklace he bought in Hawaii.

**Update: to read an actual post on this go here


Giving up on "me"

I am afraid of commitment – I will admit it. Maybe that is why most of these dates you have read about haven’t worked [Mr. Los Robles has now called me twice and I just…don’t want to call him back – this will make my sister happy]. I remember on the match.com date I told you about a while ago [you can read part I and part II here] my date asked me why I was on match.com and what I was looking for in a guy or out of a relationship and my first gut response was “NO! I don’t want a boyfriend! I don’t want to date anyone! I am my own person. I answer to no one but me.” [good thing I was on match.com]
There is a part of me that thinks once I enter into a relationship I give up my independence and what makes me who I truly am. I will have to compromise and answer to someone else and give up that independence that I love so much and hold on to so dearly. I am not so sure I am ready to give that up [or will ever be ready!]. I keep going out with guys – and have realized that I am just in it for the thrill of meeting new people. The high I get from knowing someone is interested in me – even momentarily. As soon as I let people get just a little too close I run away. “You can’t change me – I won’t let you!” What if they convince me not to ever go back to Nepal? What if I fall for a pastor?? Please God, No!!!!
I have amazing parents that have modeled a relationship that I still can’t believe exists. You would think that gives me faith that love like that exists in the world and I can have that too – but I think sometimes it did the opposite to me. Sometimes I think they just got lucky and that can’t happen twice. And I feel this tremendous pressure not to let them down – they could do it so shouldn’t I be able to do the same thing? What if I was to enter into a relationship and it were to fail? My mother has said to me “divorce is not an option” – and I understand that. Of course I wouldn’t want that to be the outcome of what I thought would be happily ever after but look at the divorce rate in our country! It happens more than we would like to admit. And what if I happen to be one of them? What if I let my parents down like that?
I guess I just have a ways to go on this journey. I have learned so much about myself since leaving college and can only imagine how much I will continue to grow in the years to come. Perhaps I will meet someone to grow alongside me – someone who could help me in that growth I need to achieve. Because as much as I am afraid of committing to another person and losing my independence, I think I am most afraid of truly being known.


The Ideal Woman

There is this great “shop” along Colorado Street that always has art in the windows. It is constantly changing and I always enjoy walking along this sections of the street enjoying the new depictions artists come up with: the new ways I get to view life and take in my surroundings. We have had some pretty interesting art in the past: some beautiful, some extremely abstract – all unique in their own way. Recently a furniture store moved in to a couple of the sections where art used to be. This makes me sad. A little piece of culture is now gone. All for the sake of comfort and laziness. But there are still two panels left that contain the ever switching artists’ gift to the city of Pasadena. I want to share with you the latest one that is up right now [I had to take the picture in two sections]

This does not sit right with me. I was walking to my bank one day when I passed this – I don’t quite think it is finished. It looks to me like they are putting some mannequins up in the windows – but this was painted on one of them. And it stopped me. I had to take a picture and then think about it. I hate it I think. The idea woman has the spirit of a man? What is that all about? I like my spirit thank you very much and I don’t think I need any more man in me to make me any more ideal.


Los Robles Man

I am exhausted. It has been a draining week. Class demands are building up and the recent lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me. I leave work on Wednesday afternoon and begin my usual walk home. [Del Mar is beautiful this time of year – the purple-blossomed trees in full bloom] As I head down Los Robles Martina McBride’s “Broken Wing” came on and I just couldn’t help but sing along. It was like my own private karaoke. Right in the middle of the chorus I hear someone holler. There is an attractive black man leaning out his car window trying to talk to me. I hesitantly pull my earphones out of my ears [hey…at least he didn’t honk his horn].

Los Robles: Hey, could I pull my car over and introduce myself to you?
Me: Hahahahaha [nervous laughter] what?
Los Robles: If I pulled my car over would you let me introduce myself to you?
Me: Ok…sure.

I watch Mr. Holler pull his car over and get out to chat with me. He’s not bad looking – not bad looking at all. His name is Kevin and he thought I was beautiful and decided he had to pull an illegal U-turn to come and talk to me. How do you say no to that?

I gave him my number. He said he would call me so we could grab drinks…maybe there will be a Los Robles Man Part II?


The Planet Panel

Going along with the “should” blog…let’s talk more about the standards [some] women have to live up to…both seen an unseen. This post is inspired by a post on Michi’s blog which you can find here. Maxim came out [not so] recently with their top five unsexiest women on the planet. Seriously? The PLANET?!? Who did we get to sit on this panel? Who gets to be this judge and how did they get to be so high and mighty? And I seem to remember hearing something about beauty being in the eye of the beholder once? Aren’t we all going to have different tastes and opinions?

You can check the list with a little commentary on why here.

5. Brittany Spears
4. Madonna
3. Sandra Oh
2. Amy Winehouse
And the number one unsexiest woman alive.....
1. Sarah Jessica Parker - What???

OK, I have serious issues with a lot of these [and the ones I don’t have issues with I just won’t go into]. But…doesn’t “sexy” embody more then just physical appearance? Sure these women have had their moments of struggle and less then idea circumstances – but is a list like this really necessary? And maybe some of this just stems from the fact that I really really love "Sex and the City" :-)

Sometimes it pays to be a nobody…no one’s putting your name on a list.

[And just in case you are interested in what guys made the list, for some reason they were a top 11, you can find that here]


The Gift of Technology

Are all these improvements in technology really helping us communicate? Or are we just becoming more vague?

We text the wrong person or even if we text the right person they don’t understand what we mean.
Our emails are read wrong.
We send things off in an instant instead of really thinking about them.
We post something on someone's facebook wall and don't think of who else might be reading it.
We read things as they were not really intended because we can’t see facial expressions or hear tone of voice.

We have cheapened our communication. We think we are communicating when in fact we are just reminding people we exist and substituting relationships for superficial points of contact.


The Should Factor

Should is a word that plagues women. We are caught under its spell and all too often don’t know how to escape.

We SHOULD get married [or should at least want to]
We SHOULD have children [or, again, should at least want to]
We SHOULD be the follower in a relationship, supporting our husband in his dreams and desires [often to the determent of our own dreams and desires]
If [when] we get married, we SHOULD take his last name
If [when] we have kids, we SHOULD quit our job to stay at home with the kids

We’re shoulding all over ourselves. [as my pastor would say]

When did we fall into this abyss of heaped on expectations and how do we pull ourselves out from under them? There is so much pressure to conform and act and certain way it is difficult to be the image of a true woman these days and stand as an anti-conformist.


Just Press Send

A friend of mine sent me a link to the greatest ecard site ever. Enjoy.

This might represent me well :-)

And this might just be the result of that blogging...


Fight or Flight

I’m not really going to try and understand the human mind here, not going to open up that door. But here’s a couple for you:

1. Ignoring a Guy or Girl to Get Your Message Across:

Who’s the genius that thinks the best way to handle an issue is to avoid or ignore someone? “I don’t really know how to respond to that question they asked me or that statement they made so I will just ignore them. They'll probably forget about it eventually, right?"
“I don’t want to seem like I am leading them on when I am not interested. How about I go from calling or hanging out with them everyday to ignoring them. That should get the message across.” Yes…that will get SOME message across, maybe just not the message you wanted.

I just don’t get the logic here; this may in fact create more ambiguity.
OK…how about this one.

2. Playing it Vague and Unclear So You Have an “I-didn’t-Mean-it-That-Way” Out [I think this might fall more on guys]:

You know the type, communicating with a girl, asking her to “hang out,” [just read up on everything that qualifies for an ambiguous date here] and if she ever gets to a point of saying “I’m really not interested” they come back with “Woah there, I wasn’t even thinking that, I just wanted to be friends. Let’s not jump the gun here.” Riiiight. We’re not stupid. Just admit it or stop it.

It is like we have bread an entire species of socially inept creatures. We're afraid to be honest anymore...but maybe that's why it's working.(?)


A Book Race

Let's share a good date this time, shall we? We've focused a lot on the negative - let's [for Jeanette's unborn son] share a positive what-to-do type story. I know not all of you will get into this, but I think it is fantastic. Another date story from the wonderful Olivia. [To read the last one, go here]

This is one of the best dates I've ever been on, and we ended up dating for about 3 months. This would have been in 2001, before I moved to L.A. He was in medical school and we met at a coffee house one afternoon. He was very eager to hang out with me and I had a lot of fun with him, so we hung out as friends for a couple of weeks before I agreed to a date. He wanted to impress me so much on that first date that he kept the plans a secret from me. Here is what we did for a date:

He picked me up in his car (I agree, a guy should pick a girl up or offer to drive to her neighborhood) and drove me to Barnes and Noble. He walked me inside the front of the store and turned to me and said "OK. Go find your two top favorite books you've ever read. Grab one copy each. Meet me over in Starbucks in 20 minutes with those books.
Ready, set, go!!" and then he raced off to one section of the store. So I ran over to another section and began searching for books.

20 minutes later I walked over to Starbucks where he was already sitting down at a table for us. He had bought me a cup of coffee (he had paid attention to how I "take" my coffee) and 2 pastries- one for both of us. He also had two books on his lap.

So as I settled in, a bit flushed from the flurry of the book race, he said "OK, now tell me about your two favorite books and why you liked them so much. And then I will tell you about my two favorite books. And then I will buy one of your books and you can buy one of my books. And then we can read them and discuss them in a couple of weeks."

So we sat there, drinking coffee, explaining our favorite books. He bought the first Harry Potter book and I bought the book "It Takes a Worried Man: A Memoir". We both really liked reading the books and it was fun to talk about them over the coming weeks.

That was a fantastic date. :)

Let me just end up by saying: wow. Go ahead, use this one guys. I won't tell your girlfriends/wives/significant others that you read my blog. How creative. I love it. Creativity, amazing. And secondly, brilliant on his part because he SECURED the second date. Did you see that? Genius. Plus...any guy that learns my coffee drink will be leaps ahead in wooing me ;-)


The Bathroom

So…what’s with women going to the bathroom together? Are we scared we are going to be abducted? Maybe we think the mirrors in the bathroom are trick ones and we need our friends to tell us if our hair looks OK [as if they are going to tell us the truth anyway].
OK…let’s be honest. It is actually just because we need a couple minutes to get away, check in, and see where we are at
“OK, what do you think of him? Do you think it is going OK? How do we get OUT of this? How cute is that guy at the next table? What time do you think the bouncer gets off?” [just kidding…we never think about anyone but our date!]

…and can men do the same thing? Or is that weird? And why is it weird when they go to the bathroom together? Is it cause they don’t have stalls?


Bold Moves

When men attempt bold gestures – break out the bold moves, it is considered romantic
[well, as long as the girl is interested…otherwise it is considered stalking, read more here]
When women do it…it is considered desperate. What’s with that?


For my Pregnant Friends

This one is for my pregnant friends [and for those who aren't...beware, this post may make you want to be].
Who knew being pregnant could be so hot? Or that you could start wearing more two piece bikini's and cut-off jean shorts like these!
And who knew it went so well with beer [cause I am pretty sure we've always been told otherwise]

Gotta love that non-alcoholic beer.
And for the record, I do find this disturbing. Interesting marketing branch out. What?