5.21.2008

The Single/Couple Relationship

Singles. Do they make married people uncomfortable? Like they get around them and they don’t really know how to act or what to say? Or is it that often the couples look at them with envy and wish they had their freedom?

That has long been a debate amongst us singles. Sure, we have couple-friends that are better at relating to us then others – there are the couples you love hanging out with and then the couples you have to pencil in on the calendar out of duty [or can only handle in large groups]. And you can even tell a noticeable change when one of your single friends becomes a “we” – they’re different around you then they used to be, especially if they are of the opposite sex [I know this is quite necessary most of the time].

I am told I will understand someday. That there are certain challenges and experiences that we as singles just can’t understand anymore that are best felt in the solidarity of a group of couples. And when the unknowing singles enter – it just creates a different atmosphere. But the divide has always made me chuckle. And my hunch is that in all these scenarios it depends on the couple: but some I think really are uncomfortable around singles and have no idea what to say – you were one of us once, is it so hard to remember?

3 comments:

Michi said...

I'm noticing you equate being in a relationship with the loss of freedom. It doesn't have to be that way as long as there's trust. Does that sound corny?

I haven't really noticed a difference with my married friend (singular), but I have noticed a difference in how friends act after they have kids.

Barry said...

I think they made a movie about you but named the main character Dan, and named the movie "Dan in real life".

In any case. here are some things that help me get by in situations where I am the only single in the room.

1. have at least 3 jokes prepared that you can tell multiple people.
2. wear really tight jeans
3. pretend that you are important and send txt messages to yourself all night
4. wear a t-shirt with a picture of a moose on it.
5. chew sunflower seeds
6. talk about exercising a lot
7. laugh as loud an obnoxiously as possible at the couples when they talk about the other persons quirks.

all of these should make you feel better.

lizzo said...

seriously, it kills me. it's like, do you not remember what your life was like 4 years ago? what it was like... in situations like this? part of me wonders if they feel awkward *for* us -- like they feel awkward b/c they fear that we feel awkward. weirdos.