Has anyone noticed that every single one of their friends identifies with the Dunphy's on "Modern Family"? Seriously. Every Wednesday night America sits down to laugh until their guts hurt - and afterward share their favorite quotes or scenes via twitter or facebook....and the most common thread I see are my male friends "confessing" that THEY ARE SO PHIL!! or married couples laughing about how much Phil and Clair resembled them in that evenings episode.
"Modern Family" has certainly created a show that has resonated with much of America...no matter what stage of life we are in. But where at the Cam's, Mitchell's, Gloria's and Jay's of the world? I never see them self diagnosing on the world wide web.
But, seriously, I am totally like Clair. And I really hope someday I marry Phil.
Showing posts with label Television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Television. Show all posts
5.05.2011
1.18.2011
judgement
I will be the first to admit - I like "The Bachelor" - I know. It's a tad bit pathetic. But I love it. It might a disease, I am not sure, I am looking into it. The drama, the passion, the public displays of affection, the ROSES!
A friend of mine MISSED the episode this last Monday and had to catch up on Hulu (what a disappointment!) She decides to do so while her brother and some of his friends are hanging out playing dungeons and dragons.
We discuss such fact:
Dudley: i'm going to watch the bachelor now. even though my brother's friends playing dungeons and dragons in the other room are judging me for it.
Yeti: they can judge all you want. you know why? cause we deserve it. but we are still going to watch it, cause it is an addiction.
A friend of mine MISSED the episode this last Monday and had to catch up on Hulu (what a disappointment!) She decides to do so while her brother and some of his friends are hanging out playing dungeons and dragons.
We discuss such fact:
Dudley: i'm going to watch the bachelor now. even though my brother's friends playing dungeons and dragons in the other room are judging me for it.
Yeti: they can judge all you want. you know why? cause we deserve it. but we are still going to watch it, cause it is an addiction.
Dudley: or i just like it
Yeti: or....yeah...th
Dudley: plus they are play dungeons and dragons and i don't judge them
Yeti: but you SHOULD. so...it is kind of even
Dudley: but i don't. so they are stupid for judging me. my brother's most harsh friend just told me "i am neither a nerd nor a gentleman" . . . implying that he won't accept my accusation that he's a nerd (which i didn't make) and he won't be apologetic for judging me
I love nerd boys.
6.27.2010
World Cup
When people ask me if I am watching the World Cup I think that is a ridiculous question.
1. you have a good excuse to drink at 7 in the morning.
2. cute boys.
do i really need a #3?
...now i just need to decide who to cheer for.
1. you have a good excuse to drink at 7 in the morning.
2. cute boys.
do i really need a #3?
...now i just need to decide who to cheer for.
5.26.2009
An Open Letter to Simon
Dear Simon,
Jillian is stupid. Date me.
Warmly,
Yeti
--------------------------
Confession: I watch the Bachelorette.
Fact #1: I heart Simon Ambrose.
Fact #2: Jillian is dumb for cutting him last night.
Fact #3: I MAY have found him on facebook and added him as a friend.
Is that creepy? I mean, apparently he is single and looking (he let America know that when he joined the show). It would be unfair of me to hold back when I know that what he's looking for is ME. Plus he has an English accent. It would be unfair to myself if I didn't try to date him so I could hear it more often.
And while we're at it: I might be falling in love with Jake, Tanner P is creepy, Wes is annoying and Juan is an a-hole.
Jillian is stupid. Date me.
Warmly,
Yeti
--------------------------
Confession: I watch the Bachelorette.
Fact #1: I heart Simon Ambrose.
Fact #2: Jillian is dumb for cutting him last night.
Fact #3: I MAY have found him on facebook and added him as a friend.
Is that creepy? I mean, apparently he is single and looking (he let America know that when he joined the show). It would be unfair of me to hold back when I know that what he's looking for is ME. Plus he has an English accent. It would be unfair to myself if I didn't try to date him so I could hear it more often.
And while we're at it: I might be falling in love with Jake, Tanner P is creepy, Wes is annoying and Juan is an a-hole.
2.16.2009
He's just not that into you
In honor of the film "He's Just Not That Into You" coming out recently, I thought I would re-post my counter-attacks. Live on ladies!! There's a fine line between disinterest and misunderstanding - and we will walk that line. This was originally broken up into two posts - so I apologize for the length (and to the 4 readers I had at the time I originally posted this):
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's not asking you out:
Well…I intimidate him. It takes a lot of courage to come up a talk to me. I am pretty opinionated, independent and outgoing. Sometimes guys are afraid of being shot down. He’s nervous about ruining our friendship because it means so much to him. Besides, he DOES go to Fuller – those boys don’t ask out anyone. He just gets nervous. And, now that I think about it, I am pretty sure he kissed dating goodbye. He’s just really spiritual like that – totally focused on God. He’s just waiting for the Lord’s perfect timing – you know, a clear sign that I am the one he should ask out. He’s still seeking wisdom and godly council (which actually means he sits around with his roommates and says, “guys, she’s really hot”)
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's not calling you:
Well…he doesn’t have a cell phone and he ran out of calling cards. (*cough* Phil *cough*). Or maybe he did get a cell phone but he’s just really low on minutes – he has the family plan and his dad travels a lot so he uses most of their minutes. And I think I remember him telling me he lost his phone the other day – or was it my phone number he lost? Yeah – that’s right, he put it in his pants pocket and then washed those pants forgetting that “precious piece of paper” was in there – those were his actual words. And that other guy went to the taping of American Gladiators and they confiscated his phone. Or was it that he dropped it in the ocean while he was surfing so all the numbers got wiped out? I am sure I just missed his text message. Come on. Why does he even need to call when we have class together!
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's not having sex with you:
Well…he's celibate – and as Konigsmark would say, "there's no such thing as celibate light – half the sex with none of the guilt." And believe me, he wants to but I am the one that said no. He’s just being respectful of me.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's having sex with someone else:
Well…he's just practicing so he can be really good for me someday. And it is just an outlet for his sexual tension while protecting my purity. What a great guy! He doesn't want to objectify ME so he sleeps with some other girl – because I am the one that is truly special. And I am pretty sure I remember him mentioning something about being a surrogate father.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's always drunk when he hangs out with you:
Well…he has this social phobia. That’s the great thing about us – I just really get it. Besides, he's in seminary, he can't think of witty things to say when he's sober – he gets nervous. He's just a really funny party guy. I don’t think it really has anything to do with that 12-step meeting I went to with him.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He doesn't want to marry you:
Well…one of the things I love most about him is the fact that he doesn’t want to conform to social norms. Besides, he is pretty old and set in his ways. It is hard when you’ve been selfish and living on your own for so long. And it would be hard for him to give up those bunk beds. He just really values MY independence and wants to save me from the pain of potential divorce – have you SEEN the divorce rates in our country. Better safe than sorry, right?
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's breaking up with you:
Well…he’s just confused. I’m moving and he just needs some time to think things through. He’s exploring his personal identity and just not ready for such a big (exciting!) commitment. He likes me TOO much that he is overwhelmed by it. I’m not worried…he’ll be back – she’s not that pretty.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's disappeared on you:
Well…maybe aliens abducted him, how am I supposed to know. And I don’t think he ever really told me what his job was, maybe he works for the government as a side job and he can't tell me. You know – “I could tell you where I am but then I’d have to kill you.” Or maybe he's in the hospital and didn't have any identifying information on him so they couldn’t call me. Besides, he sells jewelry at horse shows.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's married:
Well…she had to get her green card. Besides, they had to get married because he knocked her up at an early age – there was a lot of pressure. Their divorce papers are just being finalized. His wife is such a bitch…and I am pretty sure it only lasted this long cause of the kids.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's a selfish jerk, bully, or really big freak:
Well…he was an only child and comes from wealth. And he tells me lots of stories of how he was bullied as a child – I think the cycle is just continuing, or this is him finally getting his revenge. Besides, it is all just a matter of perception – I think he is just misunderstood. Most drummers I know are like that. Or as Brittany says, “That's not true – a lot of really big freaks have liked me – I'm a freak magnet"
-----------------originally posted February 2008-----------------
There is a book that has been around for a while now “He’s Just Not That Into You”. It was written by two of the writers for “Sex And The City”. I inherited this book after my year in college as an RA. One of the girls left it on the floor so as I was cleaning it out I kept it – now it is a great conversation-starter-coffee-table-book. I generally don’t think the book is that great – although girls do need to hear some of the things in there. We are so good at disillusioning ourselves and rationalizing everything. For example…some of my girlfriends and I sat down last night and cracked out the book. We thought of some "good excuses" as to WHY a guy might be into us despite what the authors were saying. So now, in a two-part series for your enjoyment…He’s just not that into you IF…
He's not asking you out:
Well…I intimidate him. It takes a lot of courage to come up a talk to me. I am pretty opinionated, independent and outgoing. Sometimes guys are afraid of being shot down. He’s nervous about ruining our friendship because it means so much to him. Besides, he DOES go to Fuller – those boys don’t ask out anyone. He just gets nervous. And, now that I think about it, I am pretty sure he kissed dating goodbye. He’s just really spiritual like that – totally focused on God. He’s just waiting for the Lord’s perfect timing – you know, a clear sign that I am the one he should ask out. He’s still seeking wisdom and godly council (which actually means he sits around with his roommates and says, “guys, she’s really hot”)
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's not calling you:
Well…he doesn’t have a cell phone and he ran out of calling cards. (*cough* Phil *cough*). Or maybe he did get a cell phone but he’s just really low on minutes – he has the family plan and his dad travels a lot so he uses most of their minutes. And I think I remember him telling me he lost his phone the other day – or was it my phone number he lost? Yeah – that’s right, he put it in his pants pocket and then washed those pants forgetting that “precious piece of paper” was in there – those were his actual words. And that other guy went to the taping of American Gladiators and they confiscated his phone. Or was it that he dropped it in the ocean while he was surfing so all the numbers got wiped out? I am sure I just missed his text message. Come on. Why does he even need to call when we have class together!
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's not having sex with you:
Well…he's celibate – and as Konigsmark would say, "there's no such thing as celibate light – half the sex with none of the guilt." And believe me, he wants to but I am the one that said no. He’s just being respectful of me.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's having sex with someone else:
Well…he's just practicing so he can be really good for me someday. And it is just an outlet for his sexual tension while protecting my purity. What a great guy! He doesn't want to objectify ME so he sleeps with some other girl – because I am the one that is truly special. And I am pretty sure I remember him mentioning something about being a surrogate father.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's always drunk when he hangs out with you:
Well…he has this social phobia. That’s the great thing about us – I just really get it. Besides, he's in seminary, he can't think of witty things to say when he's sober – he gets nervous. He's just a really funny party guy. I don’t think it really has anything to do with that 12-step meeting I went to with him.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He doesn't want to marry you:
Well…one of the things I love most about him is the fact that he doesn’t want to conform to social norms. Besides, he is pretty old and set in his ways. It is hard when you’ve been selfish and living on your own for so long. And it would be hard for him to give up those bunk beds. He just really values MY independence and wants to save me from the pain of potential divorce – have you SEEN the divorce rates in our country. Better safe than sorry, right?
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's breaking up with you:
Well…he’s just confused. I’m moving and he just needs some time to think things through. He’s exploring his personal identity and just not ready for such a big (exciting!) commitment. He likes me TOO much that he is overwhelmed by it. I’m not worried…he’ll be back – she’s not that pretty.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's disappeared on you:
Well…maybe aliens abducted him, how am I supposed to know. And I don’t think he ever really told me what his job was, maybe he works for the government as a side job and he can't tell me. You know – “I could tell you where I am but then I’d have to kill you.” Or maybe he's in the hospital and didn't have any identifying information on him so they couldn’t call me. Besides, he sells jewelry at horse shows.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's married:
Well…she had to get her green card. Besides, they had to get married because he knocked her up at an early age – there was a lot of pressure. Their divorce papers are just being finalized. His wife is such a bitch…and I am pretty sure it only lasted this long cause of the kids.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's a selfish jerk, bully, or really big freak:
Well…he was an only child and comes from wealth. And he tells me lots of stories of how he was bullied as a child – I think the cycle is just continuing, or this is him finally getting his revenge. Besides, it is all just a matter of perception – I think he is just misunderstood. Most drummers I know are like that. Or as Brittany says, “That's not true – a lot of really big freaks have liked me – I'm a freak magnet"
2.05.2009
Pride and prejudice and pain medication
I should not be allowed to watch "Pride and Prejudice:" while on pain medication. When my mind is in such a foggy and unstable state I can't separate fiction from reality. While watching the drama unfold in front of me thoughts like "Mr. Darcy IS real and I know I am going to find him, probably this year actually" begin to pop into my head. I start believing that if I just talk in a british accent, curtsy more and say things like "yes, quite" or "are you not diverted?" or "pray I ask..." he would just fall into my lap. Perhaps I would even find a handwritten letter delivered to me by horseback tomorrow (I'd even settle for an email).
I think perhaps watching P&P on pain medication has helped me realize how much I have given up on romance. I don't think these sorts of things exist anymore. I've settled for someone dropping a please-date-me card in a bar instead of trying to get my number and develop a connection, or pulling the car over instead of honking as they drive by, or grabbing a cup of coffee instead of dinner and candles, or playing rockband instead of serenading me with live music...(Okay, that was a stretch, but you get it)
I'm not saying any of these things are bad, I'm just saying pain medication helps me believe that perhaps there still is a man on horseback coming for me (and I won't mind if he looks like Colin Firth...or Edward Norton).
I think perhaps watching P&P on pain medication has helped me realize how much I have given up on romance. I don't think these sorts of things exist anymore. I've settled for someone dropping a please-date-me card in a bar instead of trying to get my number and develop a connection, or pulling the car over instead of honking as they drive by, or grabbing a cup of coffee instead of dinner and candles, or playing rockband instead of serenading me with live music...(Okay, that was a stretch, but you get it)
I'm not saying any of these things are bad, I'm just saying pain medication helps me believe that perhaps there still is a man on horseback coming for me (and I won't mind if he looks like Colin Firth...or Edward Norton).
11.25.2008
When we fall...we fall hard
Guys, do you sometimes you wonder what the big deal is if you go out with a girl only a couple times and then break up with her? "What's the big deal? We weren't even that serious."
Well, when we fall....we fall hard. We [fortunately] don't even have to MEET you to fall hard [take my undying love for Edward Norton as an example]. We are emotional beings - we get wrapped up in it all very easily. Now, I don't say any of this to scare you, I just want to shed some light on why we find it so hard to part from you.
Take these girls for example, I this it is a fair guess to say they have never actually met David Archuleta, [and now they never will if he has any say in it] but their undying love for him was evident and they were CRUSHED when things didn't work out:
Remember when we were that convicted? [I MAY feel a little guilty for voting for David Cook now]
When you really think about it - we girls are just really COMMITTED, loyal, invested, caring, and other really nice words that mean the same thing. When we fall for a guy we really like to put our whole selves into it.
*Thank you Cha for passing this video along
Well, when we fall....we fall hard. We [fortunately] don't even have to MEET you to fall hard [take my undying love for Edward Norton as an example]. We are emotional beings - we get wrapped up in it all very easily. Now, I don't say any of this to scare you, I just want to shed some light on why we find it so hard to part from you.
Take these girls for example, I this it is a fair guess to say they have never actually met David Archuleta, [and now they never will if he has any say in it] but their undying love for him was evident and they were CRUSHED when things didn't work out:
Remember when we were that convicted? [I MAY feel a little guilty for voting for David Cook now]
When you really think about it - we girls are just really COMMITTED, loyal, invested, caring, and other really nice words that mean the same thing. When we fall for a guy we really like to put our whole selves into it.
*Thank you Cha for passing this video along
11.24.2008
The union
OK boys, I'll let you in on a little secret - you never stood a chance [or very few of you at least]:
Thank you, Mike, for passing this along.
Thank you, Mike, for passing this along.
7.29.2008
An Open Letter to Mark Kanemura
My Dearest Mark,
First let me say that you have done a phenomenal job on So You Think You Can Dance. Top 6!! Amazing. [And I think you owe that to me, I vote for you A LOT last week – and I am pretty sure my friends are still mad at me. Will was pretty amazing. I digress.] I have enjoyed watching all [ok, most] of your dances. Each week I scream for joy like Mary as I put you on my hot tamale train [it also help me block out the harsh comments from the judges.] And you make one hot cowboy.
I don’t think all of the criticism that has come upon you has been fair. You have a lot of spirit and character when you dance and I just don’t think America was ready for your pizzazz.
I don’t know if you recognize me from my profile picture but I was actually at the Thursday taping on July 17th. Right there in the second row behind a bunch of 13 year olds. I cheered really loud. I was the girl that yelled “Mark, take off your shirt” at one point. Anyway, I was really sad when you were in the bottom two but REALLY glad when you didn’t get cut. That’s why I voted so hard this last week to keep you out of the bottom two.
So, my point is I don’t know if you like women or not, but if you do, I hope you’ll give us a chance. I think you are amazing. I just think we have a lot in common. You make really good facial expressions…I have a lot of facial expressions. You dance in weird and contorted ways…I can’t dance so that’s kind of how I end up looking. You’ve danced a Mia Michaels routine…I am obsessed with Mia Michaels. In your car you are a professional singer…my Toyota is a pretty big fan of me. It must be real.
So, Myspace me sometime. I know I can’t dance but I still think we could do it up real nice. In the words of Mia Michaels "you're so gorgeous I could stab you."
And let’s talk about the fact that I hate men in V-necks and I still love you, that has to say something…
Lovingly,
Yeti
First let me say that you have done a phenomenal job on So You Think You Can Dance. Top 6!! Amazing. [And I think you owe that to me, I vote for you A LOT last week – and I am pretty sure my friends are still mad at me. Will was pretty amazing. I digress.] I have enjoyed watching all [ok, most] of your dances. Each week I scream for joy like Mary as I put you on my hot tamale train [it also help me block out the harsh comments from the judges.] And you make one hot cowboy.
I don’t think all of the criticism that has come upon you has been fair. You have a lot of spirit and character when you dance and I just don’t think America was ready for your pizzazz.
I don’t know if you recognize me from my profile picture but I was actually at the Thursday taping on July 17th. Right there in the second row behind a bunch of 13 year olds. I cheered really loud. I was the girl that yelled “Mark, take off your shirt” at one point. Anyway, I was really sad when you were in the bottom two but REALLY glad when you didn’t get cut. That’s why I voted so hard this last week to keep you out of the bottom two.
So, my point is I don’t know if you like women or not, but if you do, I hope you’ll give us a chance. I think you are amazing. I just think we have a lot in common. You make really good facial expressions…I have a lot of facial expressions. You dance in weird and contorted ways…I can’t dance so that’s kind of how I end up looking. You’ve danced a Mia Michaels routine…I am obsessed with Mia Michaels. In your car you are a professional singer…my Toyota is a pretty big fan of me. It must be real.
So, Myspace me sometime. I know I can’t dance but I still think we could do it up real nice. In the words of Mia Michaels "you're so gorgeous I could stab you."
And let’s talk about the fact that I hate men in V-necks and I still love you, that has to say something…
Lovingly,
Yeti
4.03.2008
An Open Letter to David Cook
My Dearest David,
First let me say how proud I am of you. Top 8? Who would have thought [other than me, obviously, because I have always believed in you] I am proud as Paula as I watch you up there each week. And even though they have yet to show me on any cameras [apparently they only keep them in the studio and don’t actually bring them to townhouses] I am still loyally cheering my heart out.
But let’s talk about your song choice. While they all sound good and the judges affirm them…they worry me sometimes. Billie Jean? Hooking up with a girl then claiming she is not your lover and the kid isn’t yours either? Little Sparrow? Urging women not to trust men because they’ll just break your heart. I just don’t know if you are trying to hint something with these songs or build your bad-boy rocker image. I just don’t know why you can’t sing a song like Shania Twain’s “You're Still the One” or Bryan McKnight’s “Back At One” OR you could have sang “Julia” for The Beatles week…just something to think about.
And, I was a little upset that I had to find out about your little trip to the hospital with high blood pressure along with the rest of America. I just think this is a sign that you have been working yourself too hard, and maybe even more so a sign that you are not spending enough time with ME. I don’t think you understand how much it calms and rejuvenates you to be in my presence.
Now the point of this letter: I have to be honest; I don’t really know where this relationship is going. Love has to be a two-way street. I feel like all I do is listen and clap and cheer and then….nothing. It’s like a great distance separates us – a big sheet of glass or some satellite waves or something. I don’t really feel like you hear or see me. When is the last time you sat down and spent time with me? Or asked me to be one of your background vocalists? All we do anymore is hear about YOU and your songs or musical arrangements or family or what you did that week. And I don't even get the questions I really want answered taken care of because Ryan never picks mine...I mean it’s ALL very interesting, don’t get me wrong – but we can’t build a lasting relationship on that…
I guess what I am really trying to get at is…we should meet sometime. I just think if you MET me you would feel that Speck Spark. We're really meant to be. Your last name is Cook...I like to cook. You lack organization...I am good at nagging people into organization. You're on American Idol...I watch American Idol. You record songs that are put on iTunes...I buy them off iTunes. Coincidence? I think not...It must be real!
Lovingly,
Yeti
PS…look me up on facebook!
First let me say how proud I am of you. Top 8? Who would have thought [other than me, obviously, because I have always believed in you] I am proud as Paula as I watch you up there each week. And even though they have yet to show me on any cameras [apparently they only keep them in the studio and don’t actually bring them to townhouses] I am still loyally cheering my heart out.
But let’s talk about your song choice. While they all sound good and the judges affirm them…they worry me sometimes. Billie Jean? Hooking up with a girl then claiming she is not your lover and the kid isn’t yours either? Little Sparrow? Urging women not to trust men because they’ll just break your heart. I just don’t know if you are trying to hint something with these songs or build your bad-boy rocker image. I just don’t know why you can’t sing a song like Shania Twain’s “You're Still the One” or Bryan McKnight’s “Back At One” OR you could have sang “Julia” for The Beatles week…just something to think about.
And, I was a little upset that I had to find out about your little trip to the hospital with high blood pressure along with the rest of America. I just think this is a sign that you have been working yourself too hard, and maybe even more so a sign that you are not spending enough time with ME. I don’t think you understand how much it calms and rejuvenates you to be in my presence.
Now the point of this letter: I have to be honest; I don’t really know where this relationship is going. Love has to be a two-way street. I feel like all I do is listen and clap and cheer and then….nothing. It’s like a great distance separates us – a big sheet of glass or some satellite waves or something. I don’t really feel like you hear or see me. When is the last time you sat down and spent time with me? Or asked me to be one of your background vocalists? All we do anymore is hear about YOU and your songs or musical arrangements or family or what you did that week. And I don't even get the questions I really want answered taken care of because Ryan never picks mine...I mean it’s ALL very interesting, don’t get me wrong – but we can’t build a lasting relationship on that…
I guess what I am really trying to get at is…we should meet sometime. I just think if you MET me you would feel that Speck Spark. We're really meant to be. Your last name is Cook...I like to cook. You lack organization...I am good at nagging people into organization. You're on American Idol...I watch American Idol. You record songs that are put on iTunes...I buy them off iTunes. Coincidence? I think not...It must be real!
Lovingly,
Yeti
PS…look me up on facebook!
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