His Best Side

A guy I got matched with on eHarmony put this up as his profile picture.

...attractive.

CATS!!!!!!!

love coupons

So, I used to get these coupons for 50% or 60% or wearedesperateformoneycomeback% off eHarmony several times a year. I haven’t gotten on in…a really long time. I am beginning to think that even eHarmony has lost faith in me ever finding a companion.

Do you think they look at some accounts and just say “wow, she’s super picky and has already tried us 3 times so we should probably not waste the stamp and just focus on the ones that stand a chance at love.”

Come on eHarmony, maybe some of us are deficient in love, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like being harassed by your junk mail. I even logged in and double-checked my address to be sure it wasn’t a matter of the coupons getting lost in the mail.

Then again, come to think of it, it could have been that blog I wrote a while ago that eHarmony Jack decided to comment on and then got scared away by my other readers. I think I’ve been black listed….

Sorry eHarmony Jack, you can start sending me my coupons again.

My life is too accessible

I have been on a kick lately of scaling back how much of my life I make available to people. I deleted over 800 friends off my facebook, put a bunch of people on limited profile, went anonymous on this blog, blah blah blah. I have just been feeling like my life is too accesible and there is no need for friends or strangers to be knowing THIS MUCH about me at every moment (don't even get me STARTED on twitter...what is the point?)

At any rate. Once I had made this decision, I had a friend request come through on my facebook from a name I did not recognize. It had a message attached to it...please see photo below:








Um...this is definately a guy I was matched with on eHarmony. We had been matched for about 4 hours at the time he sent me this friend request. FREAKY! I know we all stalk people on the internet - but you DON'T ADMIT IT THAT QUICKLY.

Weird.

Needless to say, I have now blurred out my tattoo so no one else can stalk me as easily...

Twice rejected

One of the things I really loved about eHarmony was the ability to be rejected twice by certain boys. Think about it – if you put your setting as wanting to be matched with “Christian” or anything else rather specific then you are really narrowing down the pool eHarmony is going to match you with. (and even if you don’t I am convinced that there really aren’t that many people on there so they just match you with the other 20 people in your zipcode). This, for me, meant that I got matched with many many boys both at my school and church.

While it allowed me to know that I was probably not getting matched with some psychos it also afforded me the opportunity to get rejected TWICE by these guys. They would close me down on eHarmony (probably using a vague explanation like “other”) and then when I saw them in real life I’d get rejected again: the awkward avoidance, the “we should hang out in groups”, the look that I can only assume means you-don’t-really-look-like-your-picture.

It’s okay though, because I make myself better by convincing myself that they are sad pathetic boys that are afraid to talk to or ask girls out in real life. I just shoot them back a glare that says “I know your secret too, buddy! And you’re right, I don’t look like my picture, I’m hotter. And now that you closed me down you don’t stand a chance. And every girl here is going to know that you like playing cops and robbers or scrabble on the weekends. And by the way, you spelled scrabble wrong in your profile, it has TWO b’s…I can tell you are probably really good at it!”

eHarmony you woo me

Once being on eHarmony they never leave you alone. They frequently sends me mail asking me to rejoin their lovely site - promising me that I will find love THIS TIME. In the last letter they sent me, they almost got me. It said:

“At eHarmony, we’ve brought together thousands of singles based on their compatibility profiles. And, according to Harris Interactive research, in the U.S. alone, on average, 236 eHarmony members marry every day! We know if you give us another chance, you’ll find a more satisfying experience this time.”

WHAT? Are you kidding me? I don't believe that number. Are they marrying people they connected on eHarmony? And if so how many of these are because they got drunk on their first date and then they just got the marriage annulled? Can we look at some divorce rates here?

"And let's be honest, who gets married on a Tuesday." – my roommate

OK…so it is just an average, either way, that statistic is RIDICULOUS.

A gift for getting rid of them

So, I got some mixed reviews from my "date I got on a date." One comment I got (*cough* DWP *cough*) was that this guy must not have been into it and it must have been a really bad date. Well, loyal readers, let me set you straight. Just because I have a gift for getting rid of them doesn't mean they pick up on the signals indicating the horridness of the date...

The following is the message I received that evening when I got home:

Yeti,
It was good to meet you and I enjoyed learning about your passions and interests. I had wanted to see if you would like to meet up again sometime when we left, but your beauty got me all tongue tied and I wasn't able to say what I had wanted to say.
I hope you had fun going all the places you were going in Hollywood. It would be fun to see you again and I hope you have a joyous week.
Peace
Dreads

See? I just have a gift. Maybe boys also need to learn a little more about picking up on signals. 

**More to come on what happened with the barista**

How i got a date on a date

I had an eHarmony date with a guy I was [to be brutally honest] not interested in at all. I don’t really know why I agreed to go on the date. I was not looking forward to it much but I decided to go anyway. I am glad I did.

We planned to meet up in Hollywood because it was half way between the two of us. I suggested a coffee shop that I frequently go to.

I arrived there a bit early just to grab a table. When I arrived the cute barista I hadn’t seen in several months was working. We chopped it up again like old times. He ended up giving me my drink for free. And I told him I was there for a “meeting.”

When my date arrived I knew at once it was a mistake to meet up with him – we were not going to be a connection. We had coffee for about an hour and then I had another meeting to get to [this time it was actually a meeting] but as I got ready to leave I told him I had to go to the restroom in hopes that he would leave and I could talk to cute barista boy again before leaving.

It worked.

We chopped it up a bit more and ended up exchanging information. And that’s how eHarmony KIND of worked for me even though I didn’t actually end up dating any of the matches THEY gave me.

A good profile...the writing

The actual profile is another difficult area (OK, I guess the only other area, really). So let’s see if we can give a couple tips on this one.

Do NOT say you can’t live without sex…it makes us think you aren’t serious about a relationship or are going to jump us on the first date.

If there is a question regarding what is most important to you/what you can’t live without, don’t say “friends, family, God” blah blah blah, those are kind of givens – all you are telling us is that you are the same as every other guy we’ve been matched with. What makes you stand out? Be unique. What do your friends mock you relentlessly for because you can’t live without it?

We want something that shows your personality – what makes you distinctive – why would we choose you out of the THOUSANDS of men eHarmony things we are compatible with on 29 dimensions? Like, what you’re most passionate about, how you spend your leisure time or “additional information” are great areas you can let your personality show.

We do actually care about grammar. Take the time to read through your profile and make sure everything is spelled correctly. And please do not write stream of thought.

Make sure you fill out enough sections. While the strong silent type is a draw for many of us – you’ve got to give us SOMETHING to go off of. If you only have three answers filled out, we’re not likely to bite the bait (unless you have a REEEEEEEALLY pretty face).

Bottom line: it is hard to meet people online. You’ve only got a small space to show a bit about yourself. You don’t have to be so serious right away, make it fun and show your personality.

…or just email it to me and I’ll proof it for you – that might just be easier ☺

**P.S..did you see I moved to a dot com? Make sure you update your bookmarks and post feeds!

A good profile...the photo

I had someone recently write in and ask me if I would write on what makes a good online dating profile. I thought this was quite an interesting idea – and having seen my fair share of AWFUL online profiles, I decided to take up the challenge. Now, remember, this is just my opinion (with some input from my girlfriends) so take it with a grain of salt.
I decided we needed to break it up into categories so here is the first of I have no idea how many.

#1 The Photo

The photo, let’s admit it, is probably the most important part of your profile. This is where the first impression comes in. If the initial “I think I could be attracted to this person” is not there – most people won’t take a whole lot of time reading the rest of what you have to say. So here are some helpful hints (and samples)…most what NOT to do.

Do NOT put up pictures of you with other women unless it is labeled “me and my mom” [and even then…I am not quite sure I am ready to meet your mom yet]. And while we are at it, photos where you have clearly cropped out a woman smashing herself very close against you or simply blurred out her face are not noble attempts to avoid this...and neither are you with WAX figurines. Just TAKE A NEW PHOTO if you don’t have any without girls in them.


































Do NOT take a photo of you half naked in the mirror with your cell phone.























Do NOT take three different photos of you that are exactly the same just three different angles with slightly different faces. This does not help me.




























Do NOT take a photo with your stuffed animal. I know you are trying to convey you are funny, but it comes of kind of weird.






























Do NOT put up group shots unless it is close enough so we can see your face and you clearly label yourself. I don’t know you well enough yet to pick you out of a crowd. Make sure it is full-size…the tinny-tiny photos are not really worth it.
















Do NOT put up pictures that are not you. It is REAL funny when you put up pictures of celebrities. If only I had actually been matched with them.























OK, that is as picky as I can think to be at the moment. Anyone else have helpful hints to add?

So many expectations

It has been a while since I have shared a winner from eHarmony...let's have another shall we?

I had a boy once request communication with me and this is what he was looking for:

"I am looking for commonalities in background and values. Someone who is a a Evangelical Christian and conservative Republican. Grounded in faith, active in ministry, with a heart for evangelism. Open to teaching Sunday School, interested in short-term foreign missions. Strong convictions, believes in a real right and wrong, knows actions have consequences. Godly character, honest, industrious, tither. Wants to be a stay-at-home mom. Intelligent, curious and eager to learn, reads and asks questions. Isn't independent, but is inter-dependent, seeks counsel and recognizes that life is a team sport."

Umm, no thank you [and not just because of your grammar].

What if you are on eharmony and you get hooked up with a celebrity's ex husband whose been on dr. keith to talk about the divorce?

I have a friend that is on eHarmony (who isn’t, let’s be honest). She was matched with this real attractive man, 90210, that seemed pretty great and actually looked vaguely familiar. She exchanged questions with him and made it to open communication. They grabbed a meal together and all things considered had a pretty enjoyable time. She knew from his profile that he was divorced, but was still willing to feel things out because he seemed like a pretty neat guy and was funny [funny is key].

She was comparing profiles with a good friend of hers and when 90210’s came up her friend squealed “I KNOW HIM!” She had apparently met him at the church she attends [bonus points for him that he actually attends church].

Turns out, the reason he looked so familiar to her and why her friend had seem him at church before was because he was married to someone famous. She is a name ALL of you would recognize, I'm not going to actually tell you her name, but it rhymes with Sori Telling.

After finding out who he was (and who he was married to) she looked him up online: google, youtube, everything else imaginable. The problem is, she actually found him on all these things, including a clip on Dr. Keith – I am not kidding. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

I guess this is why you don’t marry celebrities – or maybe why you google people before you go out with them [don’t lie, you know you all do it].

The Greatest Joy in Life

I don't get it.
There is no greater joy in life then...
eHarmony?
Guess we all better join.

Fast-Track

One of the interesting things about eHarmony was the number of Fuller students I got connected to. It was kind of depressing actually. I sit in class with half of these men – wondering why they never ask any of us women out – and then find out it is because they are trying to find women through the internet. This is why we are not being asked out…the guys are afraid to do it in person [I digress…]

I got matched with this one guy that I knew fairly well, we were not great friends but had friendly conversations every so often. Let us call him Track. Track requested “fast-track” communication with me. Now, for those of you who are not familiar with eHarmony allow me to explain…this is where you skip all of the steps Dr. Warren has so thoughtfully laid out and go straight to open communication [which is basically just writing emails]. I knew who he was immediately when we were matched [his picture gave it away] so I accepted figuring he just wanted to send a little message of “haha” and then we would close things out.

However, when I opened that first “fast-track” message up I did not find a “haha” and then some closure, what I found was an actual email, with some questions, kind of like open communication. Hmmmm. It was nothing too out there – pretty vague and ambiguous – just kind of friendly…but still.

Perhaps if I give you a bit more information about Track you will see why I think this is strange:
1. At the time he did this he lived in the same apartment complex as me. Um, how about you walk up the steps and knock on my door?
2. My phone number and email were posted in the elevator of our complex. Go ahead, grab a little notepad, head in there and write them down, and then use them.
3. I am pretty sure a couple of the times I got messages from him I ran into him right afterward at the coffee shop I see him at at least three times a week.
4. At the time we also had class two doors down from each other. Pretty sure I saw him every evening of class in the hallway. How about saying hello. Go ahead, plan ahead, and come up with some witty one-liner.

However, this is the same guy who one time told me “you are really good at awkward moments.” I think that just means I handle them well…or create them well? At any rate, I think that was his polite way of saying he feels really awkward around me. Perhaps that is why the computer was safer?

Why are we so afraid of people’s faces?

Religious Affiliation

My last poll was on quite an interesting topic I think. It is one that my girlfriends and I have long debated. It is one my parents would think there is no such debate about. Would you date someone of a different faith/belief? How important is that? Sure you could go along for a while – but then push comes to shove and I think it becomes pretty important.

When some of my girlfriends and I signed up for eHarmony we were asked what religious affiliations we were open to being matched with. This is what first started the conversation. I think I checked Christian, Buddhist, Spiritual but Not Affiliated, Agnostic, and Atheist. [We wanted to make sure we got LOTS of matches!] But once we started to get into conversations with these various boys we discovered a fundamental tension – there was just something different in their priorities and perspectives on life.

There was one boy in particular that one of my girlfriends went out with. He was perfect on paper, they had great conversations on the phone and he was goOoOd-looking. His profile had him marked as spiritual but not affiliated. After only their first date the discussion about God came up and they had to hash it out a bit. She came home from the date feeling a tension. They had respected what each other thought, but there didn’t seem to be a sort of reconciliation of the two in site – at least the sort of reconciliation that would be needed for a relationship to grow. She realized from that date that they didn’t just have different beliefs; he had not really invested time in developing his own beliefs and defining who he was. He had not even really read up on his Catholic upbringing, or read into Buddhism, or picked up a Bible, or dove into any sort of religious discovery. He seemed rather apathetic about it all. Religion is so meaningful to her that it was difficult to identify with someone who cared so little for the place religion played in his life. Maybe some religion is better then nothing at all.

And the same was true for my date with the bouncer – our first time out we ended up having an hour-long conversation about spirituality. He had significant obstacles from his past that kept him from feeling like he could trust Christianity or the Church ever again. And my first time out with d* from match.com [marked down as agnostic] involved quite a lengthy conversation about his love of baseball over God and how I should never try to change him or get him to go to church. So…where do I go from there?

I am not one for being exclusive – and I think what bothers me most is the label Christian and having to actually put that on an eHarmoney profile [wait! I’m one of the good ones!], but this might be one area where we have to be a little more picky. This is the most significant part of me – it defines me – it is the reason behind my passions and aspirations. That’s a hard thing to settle on.

Let us Pray, Let us Pray

I have this friend, Olivia, from Chicago. She is great – you should know her. I don’t actually know her that well, we are fairly new friends. But she cracks me up and I like her stories and perspective on life.

One of the great things about this blog for me is that it is very therapeutic. Writing about my awful experiences, thoughts and perspectives. It helps me hash them out [and helps even more when all of you validate me with “mmmmm, yes” comments].

The other bonus is when some of you email me with your own stories because mine remind you of some of your own experiences and thoughts. So here, for your enjoyment, is one of Olivia’s. And it is a doozey. So feel free to validate her in how awkward this was with a comment or two [and don’t worry, she knows I am doing this and gave me permission].

-------------------------------
So I joined eharmony a couple of years ago just to see what I could find. (I had already done match, with no success...and I must be a masochist cause I signed up for match again this past fall and spent two months dating a guy who I thought was cool until I found out he likes to do coke from time to time.) ANYHOO...eharm....

I agreed to meet up with one guy from that website because all of the other ones were obvious "you have got to be kidding me" types. But this one guy seemed normal, nice, blah blah blah. So I emailed him and said, "let's meet at Danny's", a funky little pub in Wicker Park. He agreed and our first date was set. He met me there and we immediately ordered 2 pints. He started the conversation by saying that he had called his mom before the date and they prayed together about the date...prayed that God would be present and would guide our hearts together…Well, that's just fantastic.

So not only was I on a date with this guy, I was also now on a date with God. (And WHO brings up their Mom on the first date?!?!)

Then, as I brought the tasty Alagash White beer up to my mouth, eager for that first sip, he quickly waved his hands and asked if we could say a quick prayer together, over our beers. I just stopped for a second, the creamy beer just millimeters from my lips, and blinked my eyes a couple of times. Finally I mustered up a reply: "oookkkaaayyy," and then I let him say a prayer.
And then downed the pint in like 2 minutes. (I figured I was going to need to numb myself a bit in order to get through the rest of the date).

So we order a second round. He talks about church. And I sorta smile and nod and check my watch and down my second beer.

Then I ask for the tab. He looks surprised and asks if I want to go someplace else. I say 'yes, home...I have to get up early tomorrow'. The bill is laid down at our table and the waitress reminds us that it's cash only and he looks at me and says he has no cash on him. So I end up paying for the date!

So that is my one experience with eharm. Those guys are intense! Geesh!

From Minnesota to California

There was a boy that I went to the same college with but never knew in the three years I was there [yes, you read that right, three…I am a child genius]. We met for the first time out here in California at the party of a mutual friend. We figured out we had both gone to Bethel,graduated the same year and were even the same major. Funny. We chatted for a while and got along really well. He was funny – well cultured – intelligent – and fun to be with. He ended up getting my number at the end of the evening and called me up not too long after that. [Didn’t even wait three days]

We planned a time to hang out the following weekend. He said he would drive out to me and we would hang out for the evening. Well, not only is he all those things I mentioned above – he is also a really good LISTENER apparently. Because he suggested that we go to the Tibet Nepal House for dinner. Dude knows the quickest way to my heart…Nepali food. On a side note: I think the owners are now catching on that I use them to screen guys – they give me their
opinions on different guys I bring in ☺ I think it’s a good idea because they know whether they would fit in in Nepali culture or not.

Anyway, we had a lovely dinner and then decided to go and visit my roommate because she was working at 21 Choices in Old Town at the time. During our walk we passed a Belgian chocolate shop. He is a missionary kid and had grown up in Belgium. When he saw this shop you should have seen his face light up – he got really excited to have me try some of his favorites. So we stopped in a bought several [ridiculously overpriced] treats. Then on to 21 choices to buy some frozen yogurt. Then back to my place to watch "Waking Ned Divine." I had never seen it – he was shocked – thus took it upon himself to educate me on movies…this is where we started. It was a great evening. He broke out his Scottish accent for me during our walk through old town – spot on. So good. Loved it. It was really fun. Hands down, the best date I have been on here in California.

The very next day I got a text from him asking if I had ever been to the Getty Museum before. He then proceeded to ask if I wanted to go the next day. He then proceeded to send me several more messages that day and each day that followed. Now…here is where I reveal to all of you lovely friends and complete strangers a little something about myself. The best way to get me – pretend you don't like me at all. Hard to get. The moment I find out you like me…I RUN. Truth. I know it's weird – I'm flawed, what can I say? The guy came on too strong. I got freaked. He drove to Pasadena the next week and we grabbed coffee. He knew my demeanor had changed and brought up the subject.

Bethel: “I feel like we got started on the wrong foot, can we start over. What are your feelings? What’s going on?
Yeti: “I guess I just need to know what your intentions are. Like, are you just interested in hanging out cause you want to be my friend or were you looking for something more then friends?
Bethel: “What do you mean by more then friends? Talk about that a bit.” [P.S…never make the girl start…come on!]

Anyway, I laid it out there. I'm not interested in anything more then friendship [only, truth be told…I was, I just got freaked. He came on too strong and I didn't know what to do]. He said:

“Oh yeah, no that’s totally fine, me either. I just thought we had a lot in common and you were really easy to talk to and fun to hang out with. But I was just looking to be friends.”

Sweet! And I believed him. Then why did I NEVER hear from him again? Even when I tried to call him a couple of times – nothing. Won't ever write to me. Won't respond to me. Liar! Man up already. I realize rejection is difficult – but at least own up to it. We girls aren’t stupid.

And to make matters worse…we got matched on eHarmony 4 months after this. I randomly got a facebook message from him and all it said was “meh, funny” I thought this was strange and didn’t understand until I check my eHarmony account. AWKWARD! And I couldn’t close him – that would be like rejecting him twice! Luckily he closed me.

I shot this one down too soon, I'll admit it. But he handled me all wrong – I scare easy. I'm just sad he was so quick to back out for good….

Get Out There

No need to lie – I know there are many of you seeking out stories just like mine. You can wait to get out there and meet mr. self-deprecating or mr. other or, perhaps even, mr. right?!?!
I wanted to be sure I resourced you with the many ways out there you could do that. Most of you probably didn't even realize this many (FREE) dating sites were out there!
[Note: I am NOT on all of these sites...probably not even half. OK, seriously though, I have probably only tried four. But if you find any of these helpful or hilarious please do share]

Let's start with some generic ones – for those of you who just want to get out there are meet a variety of people:
eHarmony.com (wait….this one is NOT free)
match.com (neither is this one…well, it is free to look)
personals.salon.com
plentyoffish.com (that's right….Goooooooo fishing!)
eromance.com
Matchdoctor.com
Hellodarling.com (I THINK this had about 4 people on it…)
4ppl.com (for dating AND friends!!)
connectingsingles.com (you can "flower" people here)
lets101.com (making sure you get a date and the date is right for YOU!)
bookofmatches.com
sugardaddyforme.com (wanna date rich men?)
webdate.com
jumpdates.com
allsinglesmeet.com
true.com
desperateanddateless.com
clicktomyheart.com


OR maybe you are looking for something specific – someone with that specific quirk you also share:
welovetoo.com (for the disabled)
doglover.biz
coupleslookingforcouples.com
agelesscupid.com (wealthy)
nerdpassions.com (are you a nerd or geek?)
lefthand.date.com (for people that are left-handed)
punkpassions.com
smokingpassions.com (love smoking?)
gardeningpassions.com
gothicmatch.com (you goth?)
been-dumped.com (divorced and dumped members)
gifishing.com (military)
uniformedcupid.com (military)
redheadpassions.com (for red-heads)
datemypet.com (date me…AND my pet!)
ethicalsingles.com (care about humans, animals, the earth, etc.)
transpassions.com (transsexuals)
herpesmate.com
zingdating.com (alcoholics/addiction)
justmaclovers.com (prefer MACs over PCs?)
sportsfansmatch.com
brewmate.com (for home brewers)
fem2femconnect.com
datingwithchildren.net
singlescorral.com (for country singles)
bikerkiss.com (biker babes and biker boys)
trekpassions.com (love star wars?)
positivesings.com (herpes/HIV)
pozitiveliving.com (HIV/AIDS)
agematch.com (inter-age dating)
romanticatheart.com (senior)
deafs.com (deaf people)
bicupid.com (bi-curious or bi-sexual)
loveyoga.com
veggiefishing.com (for vegetarians)
rockabillydate.com (are you a rockabilly)
tattoopassions.com (do you have or like tattoos?)


Or maybe you prefer being with specific ethnicities:
lovelyarab.com
romaniandating.net
afrointroductions.com
nepalisingles.com
koreanfriends.com
brazilcupid.com
iraniansingles.ws
armeniandating.com
loveindians.com
greekdateline.com
vietnamconnection.com
singlejew.com
latinrelationship.com
asiafuns.com
interracialsingleslove.com (or just mix it all together)


Maybe you just want to focus on people in your area. Be sure you'll get someone right down the street – or that guy you run into at the coffee shop…well, we've got sites for you too.
Birminghamsingles.com
Atlanticcitysingles.com
Littlerocksingles.com
Coloradospringssingles.com
grandforkssingles.com
Newhavensingles.com
Longviewsingles.com
Scrantonsingles.com
Worchestersingles.com
Jupitersingles.com
Ftmyerssingles.com
Greensborosingles.com
Tusconsinglesonline.com
Stocktonsingles.com
Daytonabeachsingles.com
Fortpiercesingles.com
Raleighsingles.com
Richmondsingles.com
Chattanoogasinglesonline.com
Lancastersingles.com
Pasadenasingles.org
Lexingtonsinges.com
Atlantasinglesonline.com
Midlandsingles.com
And…just for my own enjoyment, I found one in Nepal ☺
aloneinkathmandu.com


And for you conservative (pray-without-ceasing) types, maybe you are interested in going down the Christian road. Only want to find that special someone who has also been dipped in the blood – redeemed by the lamb? You are in LUCK!!
equallyyoked.com
baptistdating.com
bigchurch.com
catholicmingle.com
christianmingle.com

------------------------------------
AND NOW! Additions - which have been YOUR suggestions. Other sites you have found and added to my list. What a great (and ridiculous) resource this has become. Keep checking back for more!!
dateacougar.com
fitness-singles.com (the couple that lifts weights together, stays together)
okcupid.com/interests?i=knitting (Find other singles interested in knitting - apparently okcupid can accommodate many different types of interest so don't stop at just knitting!)
growyourgame.com (OK, not technically a dating site - but a little help for guys not quite ready to meet your online match, a few tips to add to your repertoire of macking skills)

http://www.lovelyiranian.com

http://www.lovelyhispanic.com

http://www.lovelychristian.com

http://www.mdfriendly.com (For Medical and Nursing professionals)

http://www.oceanofdate.com
http://www.sugardaddie.com/ (Where the classy, attractive, and affluent meet)

open communication

And while we are on the topic of eHarmony – let’s talk about this GEM (literally…he collects rocks or something). I went all the way to open communication with this one and then THIS is what he hits me with:

"Hey there, finally open communication, haha. This will just be a random spilling of my heart on what I view a good relationship to be. I believe it starts off with having a personally strong relationship with God, followed by developing a friendship with someone who you can also build strong relationship on God. Without Him it is pointless. I look forward to finding that woman that I can pray with and study God's word with. Someone who god will use to bring out areas of myself that I never knew about. I see it like this. Until I knew god I didn't know who I was. But, as soon as I found Him He showed me who I was. Now, I believe I am complete with just God, but since I know God has a woman for me I know that there is a part of my life that isn't complete. I don’t need her to complete me and God, but I do want her because I know it is something God will use to change who I am. I can fear change, but I know in the end the right person will turn me into who God wants me to be. So far I look at my life and see the impact that everyone who has known me has had. Now, just imagine how much of an impact that perfect one for me will have. It blows my mind!!!! Now, I do understand having alone time and down time with friends and God. I am the type of guy that struggles with downtime. I would rather be with friends, but when I do have that downtime with just God I come away refreshed spiritually. I would never deny that time for someone I love. All my relationships in the past have been long distance, so there was just a natural balance of time alone. I am little interested to see how it will all play out in my future, but I know if it is someone God has for me I will desire to be with her a lot, haha. As God says, two will become one. It is interesting though how that will also play out. I believe we all have different things that make us who we are and that if I truly love someone those things will stay a part of them. I love my time with my guys and I would need it. But, at the drop of a dime I would give it up if my significant other needed me. I am not out to change someone, only to help them fall in love with God and to just be in a relationship of love, understanding, forgiveness, and taking this world by storm for God. Missions are something I am going to do. I don’t care where I go as long as God can use me I am willing. Nepal, China, Japan, India, my backyard. Wherever it is I want people to have a better view of God because of meeting me. Ok, enough of my randomness. I can write for hours, haha."

[They should really warn you they are this weird right off the bat…]

"Other"

Remember Rocker?
Apparently he has continued to ask Shooter when we can all hang out again. So I decide to get to the bottom of this ridiculous "other-ness". So, via facebook (I really do love facebook) we engage in a rather ridiculous conversation. Please…buckle up.

Yeti “So, you want to tell me what “other” meant?” [yes, I realize I am mean and beating a dead horse – but…that’s me!]

Rocker: “haha...wow, did you really just ask that??!! Thats really funny..."other" obviously meant "Im pretty sure God is gonna have a better way for us to meet in the future"...i hate eharm!! So are we gonna hang out again or what?

a. Definitely
b. Probably
c. Definitely not
d. Other :)”

[I am sad to report I did not change anything about this response. There really was a multiple choice and he really did blame it on God. ‘nuff said]

Yeti [not feeling like I could be very mean yet – I was partially afraid the God part was serious, this was my reply]
“i DID just ask that...i went there...and my answer is......
e. give me a real answer and we'll see.
To my roommates and I "other" meant - you're ugly - unless you were in the middle of talking to someone. There HAD to have been a reason you closed me other than "God will make us meet some other time" (ESPECIALLY since you didn't even remember me!)- I am sorry but I am just not going to let you get away with the "Christianize" answer :) fess up...what was it.”

Rocker: “Sorry about the christianize...its just so hard to not talk about God in all my conversation because I pray without ceasing. But I can see how a normal, mediocre christian wouldnt get that. haha
Dude, I close every match with "other." I think eharm is retarded. But to be honest I probably closed you cause you go to Fuller. I used to not think too highly of people who go there cause I had some bad experiences, and odds are I didnt even give you chance from the beginning just cause of that. Is it fair? Nope, but hey, you wanted honesty!”
[can’t say I blame him…. ☺]

Yeti “you caught me! most Fuller females are mediocre and lukewarm - i am no exception. it was good you closed me down before more of that truth came out.
WHY did you do eharmony if you hate it so much? you paid for it - you mind as well get the most out of it...no?
and i don't think your reason was bad - i closed every Fuller person i got matched with. i just refused to do the Fuller connection. not because of a bad experience...just cause i figured they should be able to ask me out after class, or get my email from our directory, or ask my roommate for my number...you know, some way less clinical.
well...glad that's settled. and please, stop closing girls with "other" - that is the worst response...”

[So, there you have it. Haven’t heard from him again. Maybe it’s over? Maybe he’s crafting a really good response? Only time will tell. The heathen seminary strikes again!]