So, I went out with a beau for about four something months and then we broke up.
So now I am back online.
And boy do I know how to pick ‘em. Seriously – it is a spiritual gift. I might start offering my service to others.
Date last week:
Met Eric (*not his real name!) on okCupid. He’s super cute, really nice and insanely intense and weird.
We met at a wine bar near USC. It had a really cool vibe and delicious food. The conversation flowed like sandpaper on a piece of rough wood. I brought out every bit of extrovert there was in me.
Throughout the meal he would every so often reach over and pinch my nose. PINCH. Like he thought he was so cute and tender. *PINCH.
I have real long hair at the moment and was wearing it down all nice and shiny and straight. Maybe it was getting in the food or maybe I played with it too much…regardless he kept reaching over to put it behind my ear. But I didn’t want it behind my ear so I would tell him to STOP IT and then move it back again. Then he would put it back again and swipe it behind my shoulder. It was a very frustrating game that I was losing and I didn’t even want to be playing.
Then he asked to see the tattoo I have on my hand and began caressing it gently and weirdly. I felt like turning into my mother at that moment and saying: LOOK BUT DO NOT TOUCH!
And the last straw (before it got even more awkward) was when he tried to start feeding me….BONE MARROW. That’s right. He ordered us bone marrow which was pretty weird to begin with but I ate it because I am adventurous and a good sport. It was not terrible, but it was weird. But I could not handle it when he started feeding it too me. I grabbed the piece of bread dipped in the innards of a dead cow and fed it to myself thankyouverymuch….
We asked for the check – left the restaurant and walked awkwardly down the street. He stopped and asked if I would like to come over to his place.
I began to thank him for the evening because for me it was clearly over. As I went in to politely give him a hug I had to do a little dance with my head to avoid his lips. He pulled me back by my shoulders and said “may I?”
Yeti: “no…I don’t think so”
Eric: “okay…but…we’ll just try”
Yeti: “um…no. no we won’t”
It was awkward. I walked away laughing. Three days later he texted me apologizing for pushing me and asked me out again – I said no thank you because I didn’t see it going anywhere and he replied “sorry if I didn’t make it clear but I am looking for a relationship”
So now I’m confused – but at least he hasn’t called again.
Also, I don’t ever want to eat bone marrow again.