The Side Hug

The side hug is interesting to me. I understand the reasoning behind it: boundaries. They are always good to have. But let’s break it down:

A lot of the time girls might prefer the side hug. I think this is legitimate. Because let’s be honest. Half of the time guys are just trying to cop a BC (boob crunch) and that’s just awkward [and we can tell when you are one of those guys]. Or you have the guy that tries to hold on just a liiiiiittle too long – I would prefer if you hold me from the side, thank you.

But then you have the guys that don’t seem very creepy, but refuse to ever give you anything but a side hug. I mean, seriously, what do you think is going to happen? It is just a hug – you are not my young life leader, we are just friends, I think a hug would be ok.

I guess it’s safer…but a big ‘ol bear hug is just so fun!


Eric J said...

Ah the side hug. See, here's the deal as a guy...sometimes, well, often, we (or I guess I'll just say I) don't know when a woman is okay with a regular hug versus the side hug.

As a previously unaware person of this difference, I've definitely had a few hug "snafus" and am therefore more hesitant to go with the regular hug with a girl whose preference I do not know.

Can hugs work like dancing only in reverse? That is, can the girls lead and give a hint as to how it's supposed to work with them? I'm not saying every guy works that way or will take the hint (one way or the other) but that it's always appreciated when you're encroaching some else's body bubble to have a sense of what works for them.

Barry said...

Does this mean that the "kiss hello" should also be put back into style...?


Jus said...

I agree with Eric.

I'm also going to be very wary the next time I see Barry.

Jennifer said...

ooh i like eric's point.

cuz i get tired of guys who complain about the side hug. get over it. the satisfaction you get from hugging a girl front-on does not outweigh the discomfort that some girls feel in having their breasts smashed against your chest. just sayin.

so then, guys who want to respect their girl-friends need cues from us. i like it. let's all have a big group understanding that as we approach one another, the girl can present herself for the hug as she feels comfortable. good plan.

barry, i think for most girls it depends on whether you mean with or without tongue. you can test this out by approaching with your tongue out and seeing if she accepts it.

Jennifer said...

OOOH another good point john page. the secret to the tent hug is to not let guys know that's what happening cuz then they complain that it's just as bad as a side hug. it's good for friends' dads and uncles and pastors and your mentor's husband. but then i've never heard them complain about the side hug either.

Michi said...

Being of Cuban decent, I’ve grown accustomed to the cheek kiss. I'm not a touchy feely person, so this too can be awkward at times.

The side hug always feels weird to me. It's like highlighting the fact that the two people are too uncomfortable to give a real hug. So I prefer a full-on hug, but then again I have small boobs... :/

Anonymous said...

I'm going with Eric and Jus on this. I actually think that hugs are one area where women need to be the instigators. I feel much more comfortable letting a woman define our hug status. That being said, I have no hug, side hug and (excuse the language, but I think it's funny) full frontals friends. And honestly, that's great.

john page said...

Yep, Jennifer, that's pretty much the folks that tent hugs are for. It's like a slightly more friendly side hug...Sort of.

Eric said...

It appears the difference between good front hug and bad front hug is a lot like the difference between flirting and stalking for you: whether you think the guy's nice/attractive or creepy/unattractive.

But how can we know what you think when you're so ambiguous? :D

charissa said...

unfortunately, i am unfamiliar with the phenomenon of the boob crunch. maybe one day, when i go through puberty, i will understand.

Lindsey said...

I heard someone advising side hugs over regular hugs, saying "plains, not mountains." That cracked me up. I get really annoyed at male friends who refuse the side hug (although I don't go that way often). If you're insisting on hugging me face to face, then I'm a little suspicious. But, in general, I think everyone should hug a lot more...whatever kind of hug it is.

danielle said...

Every time I think of this issue, I always go back to the age old adage...What would Jesus do? Is Jesus a boob cruncher? Is he a tent hugger? Or is he a safe but still creepy and weird side hugger? The Jesus I want to know is none of the above. Why? because he knows I have boobs, I know that he knows I have boobs, and I am pretty sure that he's not gonna get all weird and stumbly if feels them (however slightly) when we embrace.

My advice?
Guys, don't be so worried.
Ladies, don't be so worried.


You know what makes me even more uncomfortable than a side hug with dudes? Boob to boob hugs with female friends. What am I supposed to do with that?

Anonymous said...

Any kind of boob "crunch" should send the owner of same to seek medical attention.

The Afternoon Front Desk

Anonymous said...

I like the cheek kiss. But it can get you in trouble... They start from left to right in some countries and right to left in others. Then, there are the sneaky guys who know very well which way to go first, anc go the opposite just to fool you. I've been kissed smack on the lips by many an Italian for that reason.

And how's a guy supposed to know if he's in the creep category? I'm guessing all guys think they aren't. Those are the one's I'll turn to a 90 degree angle to hug.