We all have those friends. The ones that are so head over heels for that one guy that maybe says hi to them every so often [and that is only because she “accidentally” ran into him]. Or maybe he even knows she exists and will share a meal with her in large groups, but she seems to think that indicates a happily ever after. He has never, to your keen eye; give her any sort of message that he is interested in her. You won’t say it could never happen, you’re just saying she’s kind of putting the cart before the horse. I mean, picking out wedding flowers before a guy has so much as shared interest in you is a little much [although I do think Calla Lilies were a great choice].
How does this happen? How can someone get so carried away without proper encouragement? Does she have hope that maybe something can happen in the future? Is that what drives us?
It is the confirmation bias - we see what we want to see and then convince ourselves of that. And then...we believe deep down that if this guy only TRULY knew us he would fall madly in love with us. He’s totally into me; he just doesn’t know it yet. It is a vicious cycle. And probably throw a little bit of the "it must be real" in there too. I mean the two of us have WAY too much in common not to end up together.
I don’t quite know why we do this to ourselves; I just know that most women/girls/females/human beings you meet will fall into this trap. I’m sorry but if he were really into you, you wouldn’t have to convince yourself [or talk your friends into convincing you]. Cause I think even the shy guys will buck up and say something if they were really that into you.