My last poll was about the ability of guys and girls to be friends without one of the two developing feelings for the other. Is it possible? Can guys and girls really just be mutual friends – can they just be platonic with no sexual tension or attraction?
My answer is no.
And I have to admit I was surprised by how close the vote was.
22% said Yes
46% said No
31% said Not at first but within time they can overcome any sort of romantic feelings
Granted almost half of you agreed with me in saying no, but I thought a lot more of you would [I mean, come on, I am always right].
I realize I can only speak from my experience, but I just don’t see how this works.
There have been too many times I have fallen for the “nice” guy that was just interested in being my friend, but I read it all wrong. His actions and intentions were friendships – but no one could be THAT nice to me without being interested in me. And I’ve been waiting so long for someone like him to come along, so how could I be satisfied with just a friendship? I try to push a little…and feel the sexual tension more…and then get hurt.
But then there is the other side. The side where I am the nice guy. I meet someone I just connect with and get along with in such a fun way. I love hanging out with him and feel comfortable around him. He hasn’t tried anything so I feel more and more comfortable being myself and not worrying he will get the wrong idea or try anything. So we hang out more and I let my guard down– and then one day it happens. The feelings come out – and then I’m the “bitch” that lead him on.
But I guess there ARE those rare cases. We can’t ignore them. I wouldn’t say they are in the “yes” category as much as the “not at first” category. There are those friends you have that you have known for quite some time that you feel so completely whole and comfortable with that you don’t really worry or think about that. But I don’t think you ever fully arrive there. I think there always could be that lingering question in the back of your mind “what if” or “maybe someday.” If not for the romantic feelings described above – for the convenience and comfort of the role they play in your life. I have a couple best guy friends in my life that I think would fall into this category. They don’t have feelings for me nor I for them in a romantic way. But I won’t say the thought of “together forever” has left my mind entirely when it comes to my relationship with them – if only for the fact that they are someone I trust, love and are completely at ease with. It is kind of nice when there is no guessing.
So that’s my take. Guys and girls weren’t really meant to be great friends – so when they try it doesn’t really work out. They just have a whole lot of sexual tension pent up between them and then forget how to talk to one another.