Dumb it Down

I have a nice little note to the right here that asks you all to email me if you ever have questions or comments or something you think would be fascinating for me to blog about. Here is an interesting question I got: Should we date people that we are afraid to disappoint or stick to those that who we are pretty confident we won't?
Should there be a healthy level of “this person is amazing, I don’t know how I ever got them!” or does that just eventually rip on a relationship in insecurities?
It has been pounded into my head since quite a young age “don’t settle” and it seems to me that sticking to someone you are pretty confident you won’t disappoint would be setting to some degree. Settling for someone who wouldn’t push you to be the best version of yourself. We all need a little something keeping us on our edge and helping us strive to be better then we were yesterday. I think having someone in your life can help you do that. Shoot higher. If this person is someone you are afraid to disappoint then perhaps you’ll try a little more to be exceptional and push yourself harder.
Now, this doesn’t mean changing who you are – because you can never go into a relationship doing that, or expecting that from the other half.
And this doesn't mean dating someone that makes you feel like shit because you think you will never match up to them. There has to be a balance there. Hopefully both parties feel a mutual sense of awe.
I don’t think you’ll ever truly be satisfied unless you disappoint your “other” every so often. It gives us a chance to grow. So I say shoot higher. Stretch yourself. And in finding someone who knocks your socks off perhaps you are just the person they were looking for as well.


john page said...

"I don’t think you’ll ever truly be satisfied unless you disappoint your “other” every so often."

Did you mean purposefully disappointing your special one on purpose and that brings satisfaction to yourself? Or was it more being at peace with the fact that you won't all the time, 100% match up to your special one's expectations?
I is confused....

Kelley said...

I heard a speaker talk about a recent survey - it found that couples who were most happy in their marriage felt that their spouse had qualities greater their own - they appreciated the gifts and attributes the other one had that weren't their own - if this makes sense. I found that interesting. It's not to say that there aren't lurking variables in this study - but the speakers point was to see the "positives" instead of the "negatives" in others.

Barry said...

I just figure if I honk my horn at a girl and she instantly texts me, she must be the one. This procedure take all the awkwardness out of the equation.

Olivia McCain said...

basically you're asking who gets put on the pedastal? you or your other?

how about you both are put on pedastals? i put him on a pedastal and he puts me on one.

does this make sense?

Kimberly said...

Hey did you get this title from the Lupe Fiasco music video that I made you watch ? :)