From Minnesota to California

There was a boy that I went to the same college with but never knew in the three years I was there [yes, you read that right, three…I am a child genius]. We met for the first time out here in California at the party of a mutual friend. We figured out we had both gone to Bethel,graduated the same year and were even the same major. Funny. We chatted for a while and got along really well. He was funny – well cultured – intelligent – and fun to be with. He ended up getting my number at the end of the evening and called me up not too long after that. [Didn’t even wait three days]

We planned a time to hang out the following weekend. He said he would drive out to me and we would hang out for the evening. Well, not only is he all those things I mentioned above – he is also a really good LISTENER apparently. Because he suggested that we go to the Tibet Nepal House for dinner. Dude knows the quickest way to my heart…Nepali food. On a side note: I think the owners are now catching on that I use them to screen guys – they give me their
opinions on different guys I bring in ☺ I think it’s a good idea because they know whether they would fit in in Nepali culture or not.

Anyway, we had a lovely dinner and then decided to go and visit my roommate because she was working at 21 Choices in Old Town at the time. During our walk we passed a Belgian chocolate shop. He is a missionary kid and had grown up in Belgium. When he saw this shop you should have seen his face light up – he got really excited to have me try some of his favorites. So we stopped in a bought several [ridiculously overpriced] treats. Then on to 21 choices to buy some frozen yogurt. Then back to my place to watch "Waking Ned Divine." I had never seen it – he was shocked – thus took it upon himself to educate me on movies…this is where we started. It was a great evening. He broke out his Scottish accent for me during our walk through old town – spot on. So good. Loved it. It was really fun. Hands down, the best date I have been on here in California.

The very next day I got a text from him asking if I had ever been to the Getty Museum before. He then proceeded to ask if I wanted to go the next day. He then proceeded to send me several more messages that day and each day that followed. Now…here is where I reveal to all of you lovely friends and complete strangers a little something about myself. The best way to get me – pretend you don't like me at all. Hard to get. The moment I find out you like me…I RUN. Truth. I know it's weird – I'm flawed, what can I say? The guy came on too strong. I got freaked. He drove to Pasadena the next week and we grabbed coffee. He knew my demeanor had changed and brought up the subject.

Bethel: “I feel like we got started on the wrong foot, can we start over. What are your feelings? What’s going on?
Yeti: “I guess I just need to know what your intentions are. Like, are you just interested in hanging out cause you want to be my friend or were you looking for something more then friends?
Bethel: “What do you mean by more then friends? Talk about that a bit.” [P.S…never make the girl start…come on!]

Anyway, I laid it out there. I'm not interested in anything more then friendship [only, truth be told…I was, I just got freaked. He came on too strong and I didn't know what to do]. He said:

“Oh yeah, no that’s totally fine, me either. I just thought we had a lot in common and you were really easy to talk to and fun to hang out with. But I was just looking to be friends.”

Sweet! And I believed him. Then why did I NEVER hear from him again? Even when I tried to call him a couple of times – nothing. Won't ever write to me. Won't respond to me. Liar! Man up already. I realize rejection is difficult – but at least own up to it. We girls aren’t stupid.

And to make matters worse…we got matched on eHarmony 4 months after this. I randomly got a facebook message from him and all it said was “meh, funny” I thought this was strange and didn’t understand until I check my eHarmony account. AWKWARD! And I couldn’t close him – that would be like rejecting him twice! Luckily he closed me.

I shot this one down too soon, I'll admit it. But he handled me all wrong – I scare easy. I'm just sad he was so quick to back out for good….


B-W said...

The best way to get me – pretend you don't like me at all. Hard to get. The moment I find out you like me…I RUN. Truth. I know it's weird – I'm flawed, what can I say? The guy came on too strong. I got freaked.

Actually, guys would do well to pay attention to this kind of thing. I speak as someone who rather often "came on too strong," and I think that's more my fault than the other person's. One of the things that made a huge difference to Michelle was that, although it was clear enough I was interested, I was able to keep things low-key for a while on the front end. (The fact that I asked her to lunch across the street from Fuller was a good start!)

john page said...

Ed Norton OR Tim Mcgraw....ummm, I don't think I can even pretend to understand that spectrum, but I'm cheering for ya!

I'm just guessing, you know, spitballing here, but it would appear that Tim and Faith are pretty tight. Ed, hmmm, well, you might have a chance there!