4.02.2008

Thank God For Dating

APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

It’s true. My last post was a joke. I have not turned a new leaf. Well…I have turned a new leaf and that is why I DON’T think those things anymore. Have you ever seen the movie “Saved”? That was the high school I went to. I won’t tell you what part I played in that movie – I’ll only tell you I may or may not have ACTUALLY had a journal and pre love letters…don’t worry, they are all gone now. I don’t think people who think like my previous post are wrong, I have just found that doesn’t work so well for me. I’ve been there – tried that – and I think that’s why I’ve never had a boyfriend before and never really dated much until moving to California.

Christian society puts too much pressure on perfect love, on finding “THE One,” on not taking an active role in your own life and waiting for lightening to strike you until you ever do anything for God or yourself. I’m not advocating you go crazy – date everyone you see – have promiscuous sex – and marry a couple of wrong guys to find the right one. You know, “Flirt to Convert.” I’m just saying that dating around isn’t such a bad thing. If I’ve learned anything from all my online experiences and the random conversations with guys in bars and the various coffee dates it’s little bits of what I simply could never handle in a potential marriage partner someday. The traits my husband could not have or I would go crazy. And on the flip end I learn little bits of what I love in these various guys that I will be sure exist in any man I might pursue something serious with one day. And it’s this learning that helps me grow and, perhaps most importantly, learn about myself and how I engage with others.

I think my friend Aaron puts it well when he talks about his experience with dating and meeting his wife Megan:
"I know I'll never be asked to write a book on dating. I'm cool with that. But I do know one thing about dating and that's this: some people already know exactly what they are looking for in a mate and some don't. I didn't. I thought I did, but I didn't. Sure, if I could go back I'd do some things differently. I'd approach dating much more casually and I would have been much more mindful of the feelings of others. But all in all, dating was a good move for me. I ended up finding Megan, my wife. She is perfect for me in so many ways. Had I not dated anyone I probably would have ended up marrying someone like the sex Ed. girl or the drama queen. And life would have probably been a lot like wearing a jock strap for the rest of my days. I'd survive to be sure, but no amount of adjusting would ever make it a comfortable or enjoyable experience. Thank God for dating."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was wondering about that post...on April 1st. Thanks for keeping it real. Some people do see relationships that way and it totally works for them. Others, not so much. God's creative.

aaron said...

Wow, I completely forgot about that post! haha good memories - except that it also makes me think of joshua harris - but other than that, good memories!

Anonymous said...

so, i'm married, but i like reading your blog. it's fun to hear your funny/scary stories. :) i can relate well to this post, in my present day life. it seems like the idea that God has a career, job, spouse, certain choice for us all the time can be a difficult way to live. i've found that i approached dating this way and also other things in life...like you said, i don't want to slam anyone else's viewpoint on this, but yeah, there is a lot of freedom in letting go a bit. And being able to use the brain God gave us to figure some things out ourselves.