Fight or Flight

I’m not really going to try and understand the human mind here, not going to open up that door. But here’s a couple for you:

1. Ignoring a Guy or Girl to Get Your Message Across:

Who’s the genius that thinks the best way to handle an issue is to avoid or ignore someone? “I don’t really know how to respond to that question they asked me or that statement they made so I will just ignore them. They'll probably forget about it eventually, right?"
“I don’t want to seem like I am leading them on when I am not interested. How about I go from calling or hanging out with them everyday to ignoring them. That should get the message across.” Yes…that will get SOME message across, maybe just not the message you wanted.

I just don’t get the logic here; this may in fact create more ambiguity.
OK…how about this one.

2. Playing it Vague and Unclear So You Have an “I-didn’t-Mean-it-That-Way” Out [I think this might fall more on guys]:

You know the type, communicating with a girl, asking her to “hang out,” [just read up on everything that qualifies for an ambiguous date here] and if she ever gets to a point of saying “I’m really not interested” they come back with “Woah there, I wasn’t even thinking that, I just wanted to be friends. Let’s not jump the gun here.” Riiiight. We’re not stupid. Just admit it or stop it.

It is like we have bread an entire species of socially inept creatures. We're afraid to be honest anymore...but maybe that's why it's working.(?)


Jus said...

Hmm ... I feel like some ambiguity is not always a bad thing--relationships are very rarely clean (well, at least in my experience), and trying to keep things clearly defined and in their little boxes can also not be helpful.

Of course, this could just be me justifying my own perspective.

P.S. Which option did YOU choose in your poll?

Michi said...

Depends on how long you've been dating. A couple dates doesn't really warrant explanations from me. Any more than that, a person deserves to know that it isn't working...and not by being ignored. That just hurts.

Praisy said...


laura mae said...

hi, i don't know you, but i found your blog after spending an unhealthy amount of time in the blogosphere.

you make such an incredibly true point, and i'm in a situation where this is being played out. i hate it when there's no honesty...even if the guy doesn't like the girl, she deep down wants to know!

i've also found a struggle with where do you draw the line between 'friends (of the opposite sex) who hang out all the time alone' and 'a couple that is dating'. i think it's especially hard in a Christian relationship that is founded on good principles.

i hope this isn't creepy since i don't know you, but i love all your blog entries...so much truth!

-laura mae

Michelle said...

I once had a guy say, "Whoa, there, I'm not interested, I just wanted to read poetry out loud to one another and walk on the beach because I'M GAY."

Which he wasn't.