The last poll asked “If you are pretty sure you aren't interested in someone, should you still give him or her at least one date?” This has been a question I have debated myself for quite some time.
58% of you said Yes
33% of you said No
And…thank you to the 4 of you (7%) who chose my “it depends on how rich they are” option.
I am going to have to say I am with the 33% that said no. And this is only because of past experience. Let me make my argument:
I had a friend in college once tell me that I should give every guy that asked me out at least one chance – unless, of course, he was psycho or something. When he first shared this with me I thought it made sense. I mean, sometimes you don’t really know a person just from class, group hangouts, the club, a bar, Sunday morning, etc. and they could be different in a one-on-one context. However, the more and more I thought about it I did not really like his philosophy, at least for my personality.
One date feels like a foot in the door to me. If I give a guy one date it just makes it harder for me to let him know that I am not interested in him and would have no desire to make babies with him in the future. Maybe this is just my personality – I, quite often, have a really good time on a date even if I am feeling no chemicals with that person. So I can be completely authentic in saying “I had a really great time with you tonight” and even think to myself it would be great to hang out with them again, but be coming from a completely different place than them. I guess I just hate having that “…just so you know, I’m not interested in you. But let’s me friends, OK?” It would almost just be better if we didn’t go out in the first place if I was not romantically intrigued. Guys aren’t really interested in being your friend at this stage in the game they have enough friends.
That being said: if I have gone out with you that does not necessarily mean I am into you and have a desire to hold or be held by you. Sometimes I am just bad at saying no. We girls are never very easy to figure out, are we?
But say you give it that first date, that one shot to see if they can sway you: where do you go from there? Where do you draw the line on how much face-time you will give them to persuade you to fall for them? And maybe I am still idealistic but I kind of want a guy interested in and wanting me before I have to spend time convincing him on a date.
Maybe the four that picked the “it depends on how rich they are” option were on to something. Just being willing to go out with them is not the answer, but let’s not shoot them down so soon – I mean, they could have SOMETHING to offer ;-)