10.02.2008

Crushes

Let's just be honest...crushes are really fun. And there are some of us [me? what?] that have a lot of them. I have a friend, Dianna, that did a great couple of posts on the different types of crushes that exist. I thought it was so entertaining that I had to share it with all of you. I have copied and pasted it for your enjoyment. So, please, read here or click here or here for links directly to her posts. And feel free to add a few more of your own.

Celebrity Crush: You think you know what I mean by this, but you don't. This is not having a crush on an actual celebrity...however, a crush on an actual celebrity could be included in this category I suppose. Similar to having a crush on a movie star, having a "celebrity" crush means that you have a crush on someone that you don't know anything about. You like the way they hold themselves or the way other people view them (or, let's just say it, you just think they're really hot), but you really don't know anything about them. They could be strangers, they could be acquaintances, they COULD be on TV. This includes the guy you keep running into at the grocery store or the dude that works down the hall from you. It also includes Matthew Goode. You know, guys you don't take the time to get to really know, but you dream about how cute your babies will be one day.

Backburner Crush: This is the guy you always have in the back of your mind. The guy who you default on when you don't have a more dominant crush in your life. The guy who lingers through the years. The guy you will never really pursue because you are comfortable in the consistency of your unrequited lust. And you think "maybe one day..."

Pipe Dream Crush: This is a real crush, not a pretend one like the backburner dude or the celebrity dude. However, this one is pretty sad because for some reason or another you've convinced yourself that he's out of your league, regardless of whether or not he really is. In your mind, he's unattainable. He's the "perfect guy"...too good to be true (and probably is...). This one is a little dangerous because girls tend to spiral down into the depths of self-depravity and depression because we feel like we will never live up to what this guy would ever want in a girl. Having an unattainable crush is pretty masochistic if you really think about it.

Flip Flop Crush: I like him. No I don't, his feet are too big. Yes I do, he took a really cute picture with his niece! No I don't, he got a weird haircut. Yes I do, he's totally cute. No I don't, he talks too much. Yes I do, he's friggin funny....etc.

Wingman Crush: This is the crush that you develop on your friend's interest's friend. Does it need any more explanation than that? It starts out with some general commiseration ("oh, you mean HE won't stop talking about HER either?! I thought I was the only one that felt like I was slowly being intellectually murdered with the lack of conversation...) and then while you guys are standing there awkwardly while your friends are getting their flirt on, you realize that he's actually a really cool guy.

Egypt Crush: Cuz you're in DA-NILE! GET IT?! Denial? Huh? Oh man, I crack myself up. Ok fine, that was really lame. But this one really does exist...so I'll just rename it The Denial Crush - This is the crush on the guy whom everyone knows you're in love/lust with, but you won't admit it. Perhaps it's a method of self-preservation? Guarding your heart maybe? But honey, it's time to stop fooling yourself, everyone knows.

Girl (space) Friend Crush: This is the crush you have on the boy who thinks you are his best buddy. In his mind, he's neatly placed you in the dreaded "just friends" category. (Oh her? She's just a friend.) He tells you of all of his romantic endeavors and treats you like the Love Doctor. Meanwhile, you know that none of the girls that he's pursuing would ever be as good for him as you could be.

Cradle Robber Crush: TOO YOUNG! But SOOO CUTE! What the heck? You would never consider dating him because it would just feel a little too Oedipal, but you can't help but squeal every time he's around cuz you just think he's such a cutie-pie (or fine, he might also just be really hot). If you had a little sister, you'd totally hook her up, but you'd also secretly be jealous of her. :)

Burn Crush: You have a crush on someone who is really mean to you. Like you get burned, but like leper, you don't feel it and keep putting your hand in the fire.

Bad News Bears Crush: We all have these. It's the bad boy syndrome. Why can't we ever fall for the guys who are good for us? This is the crush you have on the dude where you can count on your fingers and your toes the reasons why you should NEVER be in a relationship with him. Yet, something about him draws you in every time. Who cares if he's homeless, has three kids and is addicted to meth? He's SOOO sweet and he's got great teeth!

Phone/Email Crush: All of you in the corporate world can probably relate. This is the crush you have on that guy who you've never met in person, but you talk to him on the phone all the time and you're constantly exchanging witty pleasantries over IM. He's not quite a celebrity crush because technically, you "know" him...

12 comments:

Olivia McCain said...

what about the Girl Crush? that is the crush you have on the same gender (but you aren't gay). boys have this too. I get girl crushes all the time. I'll see someone like Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Stranger than Fiction" and I think how pretty she is, and talented, and funny and *sigh* my gosh I wish we were friends...

Great List, Dianna!

Ipp said...

Nice call Olivia on the "same sex crush."

Lets get real. I'm attempting to fill in the banks...

Celebrity: DMB Tailgate Girl
Backburner: Carrie Lawless
Pipe Dream: Molly Benson
Flip Flop: Rachel Garrison
Egypt: Jessica Pass
Cradle Robber: Ali Kolinski
Burn: Melissa Mazzola
Bad News Bears: Leslie Guettler
Same sex: Andy Konigsmark

DanP said...

The flip side of the Cradle Robber crush is the MILF Crush or DILF Crush. We all have em.

konigsmark said...

You forgot the Guilty Pleasure Crush. The person you have a crush on for absolutely no reason. They are completely attainable and a great person, but some reason you would never pull the trigger on. Its like buying a Matchbox 20 CD and hiding it from your friends. Sure you listen to it, but you don't want anyone to know. Finally, when you see your Guilty Pleasure you think about getting a little NCMO

Lindsey said...

Oh, the backburner crush. That is so true! They're such great filler during ho-hum months. It's like...I'm bored, there's no one I'm interested in...oh wait, what about him? What's he up to these days? Even though you'd already written him off for very good reasons and swore to yourself you'd never go down that road again.

And Ipp, way to just lay it out there.

wildflower said...

This is SO funny! I'm real bad about the "pipe dream" crush! Ok, I have one. I met a man who loves Jesus and people, he's smart, sexy- gosh- my heart races just thinking about him! You know the kind it takes a good 3 years to get over?... and during this crush you TRY to form a new crush because you know your Pipe dream man is out of reach... This is the kind you think SO highly of that you actually pray they marry ANYBODY great just so some lucky lady gets the chance to live with this man. After all, you don't want him to be lonely! And about the bad boy meth user... chances are if he uses METH, those "great teeth" are dentures. haha :)

Searching for the Yeti said...

Olivia, very good point. I forgot about the she/man crush. As well as the married crush - thanks, Dan.

I've got your back Ipp:
Celebrity: Owen S.
Backburner: Jens K.
Pipedream: Matt S.
Flip-Flop: Andrew U.
Egypt: JR R.
Girl(space)friend: Andy K.
Cradle Robber: Mike K.

Michelle said...

Or the Non-Sexual Crush? The one you miss when you're away, and you smile when they call, and you keep talking about in an annoying way and repeating their jokes, but you can't stand the thought of kissing?

Or is that just me?

Searching for the Yeti said...

yes!!! michelle - that's another good one. i for sure have one of those.

and i left my she crush off the list: tie between ladonna w. and the bar tender at vive.

Praisy said...

This list is amazing and hilarious!! How do i get permission to repost?!?

The Gigglepuss said...

praisy...you can repost! :)

konigsmark said...

celebrity Kristen Kruek
backburner Monica Carlson aka Jet
pipedream Rachel McAdams
flip flop Julia Speck
wingman Stevie
egypt Mackenzie Edwards
Friend Crush Dodi Darrow
craddle robber Angela Wells
burn crush Maire Jagusztyn (Reny)
bad news crush Laura Mitchell
phone/ email crush Leanne Ippolito
Guilty Pleasure Sweater Vest
Man crush JD Hydrick
Milf Crush Kristen Keagy's Mom
Non Romantic Crush Lindsey Duffek