My roommate Erika and I were walking out of Vive after a good night of salsa dancing when we were approached by an attractive Indian man with a British accent just walking down the street with his headphones in.
As he passed Erika he looked at her and said, “you look REALLY beautiful tonight”
[The following takes place in a matter of three minutes]
Erika: You look really familiar, do I know you?
V: What? (removing headphones from ears) Yeah, you totally look familiar to me too. (lie. Good one, but a lie).
Erika: Where are you from?
V: I’m Indian, I’m from fuckin’ India.
Erika: Noooo, (giggle) I mean do you live in Pasadena?
V: For like a thousand years probably [British accent is fading in and out]
V: We should go get a cocktail right now.
Erika: Oh, I don’t know about that. We are just headed home. [Erika points at Yeti who kind of can’t believe this whole interaction is taking place]
V: Ohhhhh, riiiiiight, you’ve gotta work. I’ve gotta fuckin’ work in the morning too.
Erika: Where do you work?
V: Right there at city hall. [points behind him to where the Pasadena City Hall….kind of…is]
Erika: what do you do?
V: I’m an architect. [I am now worried about the structural integrity of our new City Hall]
Erika: That’s really cool.
V: (Turns to Yeti) What do you do?
Yeti: I work for….(cut off)
V: Come one let’s just grab a fuckin’ cocktail.
Yeti: How bout you give us your number and we’ll call you some other time to grab a drink [SEE readers, I am learning to GET the number NOT give it!]
V: You won’t fuckin’ call.
Yeti: But what if we do?
V: You all say that.
Yeti: Well, just try us and give us the number.
Erika: well, since you are so adamant we won’t call, we probably will.
V: (turns his head to the sky, as if looking to the Lord) Oh, so that's how it works?
Erika: Are you sure you need a cocktail tonight? Where did you just come from?
V: I was in Hollywood one day last week.
[Erika and Yeti…exchanging confused look….]
[V Starts going through his wallet (we assume trying to look for a business card) but then pulls out his license and shows it to us.]
V: Look, this is me, I’m serious, I’m a good guy.
Yeti: Yeah, you have a nice smile.
V: Yeah, it’s a great smile.
Yeti: Look, you’re an organ donor – you’re for sure a nice guy.
V: Yeah, why would I fuckin’ keep these things when I’m gone. In fact (giggle, giggle) I feel pretty bad (giggle, giggle) for whoever gets my liver when I kick it (giggle, giggle).
[Erika and Yeti courteous/nervous laughter]
V: (looking toward Erika) Seriously, you are beautiful, where are you from?
V: No, but like, Mexico or something?
Erika: My parents are.
V: (Turns to Yeti) You’re pretty too, where are you from?
Yeti: Umm, Illinois.
V: Ah yeah, Chicago and shit.
V: I am moving to Chicago in a year for grad school intenational relationations U of Chi. [imitates as if smoking weed].
Yeti: So you plan to study a lot?
V: Well, yeah, and blues and jazz and shit.
Yeti: See, if you give us your number now – we could call you then as well when we are back in Chicago for Christmas.
V: I don’t have any business cards.
Yeti: You could just give it to us and we could put it in our phone.
V: Um, Ok 530…that’s the area code, I used to live in San Francisco…530
Erika: You lived in San Franscico? I love it there
V: Yeah, dude, that is a fuckin’ great city!
Yeti: (turning toward Erika) Please don’t distract him – he needs to just get this out.
Erika: Oh, yeah (giggle) sorry.
V: 530…. [moments that feel like hours later we have the number]
Yeti: OK, we will give you a call sometime.
V: Really? Cause, actually, you probably shouldn't. You don’t want to know me (giggle, giggle).
Erika: giggle giggle giggle…k, walk safe!
Yeti and Erika: OK, we are SO going to call that guy!!