Probably toasted

My roommate Erika and I were walking out of Vive after a good night of salsa dancing when we were approached by an attractive Indian man with a British accent just walking down the street with his headphones in.
As he passed Erika he looked at her and said, “you look REALLY beautiful tonight”

[The following takes place in a matter of three minutes]

Erika: You look really familiar, do I know you?
V: What? (removing headphones from ears) Yeah, you totally look familiar to me too. (lie. Good one, but a lie).
Erika: Where are you from?
V: I’m Indian, I’m from fuckin’ India.
Erika: Noooo, (giggle) I mean do you live in Pasadena?
V: For like a thousand years probably [British accent is fading in and out]
V: We should go get a cocktail right now.
Erika: Oh, I don’t know about that. We are just headed home. [Erika points at Yeti who kind of can’t believe this whole interaction is taking place]
V: Ohhhhh, riiiiiight, you’ve gotta work. I’ve gotta fuckin’ work in the morning too.
Erika: Where do you work?
V: Right there at city hall. [points behind him to where the Pasadena City Hall….kind of…is]
Erika: what do you do?
V: I’m an architect. [I am now worried about the structural integrity of our new City Hall]
Erika: That’s really cool.
V: (Turns to Yeti) What do you do?
Yeti: I work for….(cut off)
V: Come one let’s just grab a fuckin’ cocktail.
Yeti: How bout you give us your number and we’ll call you some other time to grab a drink [SEE readers, I am learning to GET the number NOT give it!]
V: You won’t fuckin’ call.
Yeti: But what if we do?
V: You all say that.
Yeti: Well, just try us and give us the number.
Erika: well, since you are so adamant we won’t call, we probably will.
V: (turns his head to the sky, as if looking to the Lord) Oh, so that's how it works?
Erika: Are you sure you need a cocktail tonight? Where did you just come from?
V: I was in Hollywood one day last week.
[Erika and Yeti…exchanging confused look….]

[V Starts going through his wallet (we assume trying to look for a business card) but then pulls out his license and shows it to us.]
V: Look, this is me, I’m serious, I’m a good guy.
Yeti: Yeah, you have a nice smile.
V: Yeah, it’s a great smile.
Yeti: Look, you’re an organ donor – you’re for sure a nice guy.
V: Yeah, why would I fuckin’ keep these things when I’m gone. In fact (giggle, giggle) I feel pretty bad (giggle, giggle) for whoever gets my liver when I kick it (giggle, giggle).
[Erika and Yeti courteous/nervous laughter]
V: (looking toward Erika) Seriously, you are beautiful, where are you from?
Erika: Whittier
V: No, but like, Mexico or something?
Erika: My parents are.
V: (Turns to Yeti) You’re pretty too, where are you from?
Yeti: Umm, Illinois.
V: Ah yeah, Chicago and shit.
V: I am moving to Chicago in a year for grad school intenational relationations U of Chi. [imitates as if smoking weed].
Yeti: So you plan to study a lot?
V: Well, yeah, and blues and jazz and shit.
Yeti: See, if you give us your number now – we could call you then as well when we are back in Chicago for Christmas.
V: I don’t have any business cards.
Yeti: You could just give it to us and we could put it in our phone.
V: Um, Ok 530…that’s the area code, I used to live in San Francisco…530
Erika: You lived in San Franscico? I love it there
V: Yeah, dude, that is a fuckin’ great city!
Yeti: (turning toward Erika) Please don’t distract him – he needs to just get this out.
Erika: Oh, yeah (giggle) sorry.
V: 530…. [moments that feel like hours later we have the number]
Yeti: OK, we will give you a call sometime.
V: Really? Cause, actually, you probably shouldn't. You don’t want to know me (giggle, giggle).
Erika: giggle giggle giggle…k, walk safe!

Yeti and Erika: OK, we are SO going to call that guy!!


konigsmark said...

Good things always happen ay Vive.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the funnier ones. Have you called him yet?

Dave and Betsy: said...

Soo....did you call him????

naphtali vail said...

1. I think you guys should totally call him!
2. I think he may need mental health services
3. Please call him and place his story on your website.

Anonymous said...

K, so I have heard that people that have read this story think our new friend sounds like an ass. This is not true. For the record, he was a cuddly shaggy haired skinny with a beer belly self-deprecating stoner type with a suspicious british accent who couldn't stop smiling as we chatted. I say suspicious because it came and went. Just wanted to clear things up because I may or may not be in love.


Mav Jennings said...

good planning on getting his number!

soooo....have you called him? ;)

Searching for the Yeti said...

we have NOT called him yet...not that I am going to point any fingers but every time I suggest it a CERTAIN roommate just doesn't feel like the timing is right. hopefully we'll have a story soon :)