7.23.2008

Who can ask who out?

There seems to be mixed opinions about whether girls should ask guys out. Granted a majority of you said YES (63%), but that still leaves 36% of you that said no. When you ask a guy about whether they like to be asked out or not you will get mixed answers. I had a guy friend...we'll call him Ankle...get asked out a while ago rather abruptly by a female friend. He did not see it coming at all - but apparently she had been rather interested in him for quite some time. She did it in a rather non-threatening way "so, when are you and I going to go out?" That's probably how I would do it. But it caught him so off guard he didn't really know what to do. He basically said some off-handed comment to change the subject. She then used humor to cover the fact that she had just been denied. He didn't know how to handle the fact that he had just been asked out. Maybe he is just “old-fashioned” or maybe he just doesn’t like to be put in that position? At any rate it is worth a conversation.

Should girls ask guys out? Why not? I guess it helps them understand what guys have to go through - and I guess guys then understand what girls have to go through when they are put on the spot having just been asked out - that pit in their stomach desperately wanting to say yes because they appreciate being asked but reeeeeeeeeally not wanting to go out with that person. Then right after or the next day you get the I was only kidding.....riiiiiight. But it’s OK, girls try to save face too.

I just think that all this talk about guys wanting girls to be more aggressive or forward and ask guys out is a bunch of bull. It is only true when THE girl they want to ask them out does. It is the same for us girls. We love being asked out…IF it is a guy we like is the one doing the asking. I don’t think guys would really like it if more girls started asking guys out – cause then they would be put in a lot more awkward situations. Guys just want the girls they are into to make it a little easier on them.

3 comments:

B-W said...

Actually, I wouldn't call "so, when are you and I going to go out?" a "non-threatening" way to ask someone out. There are MORE threatening ways, to be sure, but this particular way makes the as-yet-unfounded assumption that you WILL be going out.

Just say "wanna get some coffee?" and if things work out, have the DTR later....

the kicker is... said...

It can't hurt to share your interest. Well, obviously with some it CAN hurt, but you know what I mean.

Keep it simple (I like b-w's idea of "wanna get some coffee?"), leave room for a "no thanks", and see what happens.

My dad always said (about life in general): "It never hurts to ask; the worst you'll hear is 'no'." I think dad's pretty smart on that one.

Yanela and Mark said...

i think we'd all grow up a lot if we were just honest with people. do you want to go out/for dinner/hang out/grab some coffee?

i appreciate the offer, but no thanks.

any dude who doesn't want to be asked out by a girl is either lying, or has control of the situation issues.

i had a girl ask me out with the words,
-"would you like to have dinner sometime this week?"
-"I'm really sorry, but I'm not that interested."

She looked at her feet after I said that, and then I said, "Is it awkward now?" She said "a little bit..." so then i said, "you ever asked a guy out before?" she said, "No..." then i said, "you're really good at it, better than I am about asking girls out." (silence)

"how do you ask girls out?"
"i give em a note w/ yes / no circling options..." she laughed and said see you later man, then left, we were friends for 2 more years of seminary.

not that hard, right?