7.10.2008

Dating your best friends sibling

My older brother is quite the looker. His wife is a lucky gal (he’s lucky too). But when we were in middle school and even into high school I would have friends of mine want to come over and hang out at my house just so they could see my brother – they all had crushes on him. It used to get so annoying when all they wanted to do was sit and watch him play video games. Really? This is how you wanted to spend some quality time with me over the weekend?

I had a poll asking you if it was ok to date your best friends brother or sister. Most of you said yes. That is interesting to me. You must have had really good relationships with your siblings [or really bad ones] and really good relationships with your best friends [of whom never crossed you or actually tried to date your sibling]. I don’t think it is impossible, I think you could be very happy with your best friend’s sibling – but I do think there has to be a lot of intentionality and conversation that goes into a move like that. You are essentially choosing their sibling over them – saying this sibling of theirs will now become one of the most significant people in your life. It is hard to be “replaced” like that, especially when it is with a family member of yours.

I am interested to hear why most of you chose “yes”? Do you actually have an experience that makes you say yes? Do you just want to date one of you best friend’s siblings?

6 comments:

Michi said...

I voted no. Here's why...when I was in high school, my best friend dated my brother. It was weird as hell, especially at that age. You're right, you no longer know if they are coming over to see you or them. Then when they break up, things get strained from all sides. Then in college, I dated my brother's best friend (pay back, haha...not really). We were a little older than, so it wasn't as confusing. But when me and him broke up, my brother lost a friend. My advice is to stay clear of the situation if you can.

charissa said...

yes. i want to date e's underage brother. what? he's cute.

ps. what the hell is a gale.

Olivia McCain said...

i say you don't mix business with pleasure. relationships are like a business. friendships are for fun.

i'm now at a place where i wouldn't even set up a friend with my boyfriend's friends. unless i was 100% sure my boyfriend and i were getting married. cause i've done that in the past, and then the guy and i break-up, my girlfriend still dates my ex-s friend and in the long run...i lose a friend. (did you follow me on that one?)

blah. don't mix business with pleasure.

Saturday Morning Mystic said...

Wow, Olivia is no-nonsense! I can see her with a day-planner and pda lining up the relationship!

Anyway. I have five brothers and sisters, three of which are married and the other two I have never met, so, I have no problem with one of my friend dating them. Heck I might even meet my sibs that way! (Just thought I would throw a little "ish" on your page.)

Eric said...

I've honestly never seen this sort of thing backfire, though I see the potential.

My sister-in-law's brother is married to my sister-in-law's best friend, and it actually made her relationship with her brother stronger, and they're all the best of friends. Crazy, eh?

That's probably atypical, but it can work out sometimes...

Anonymous said...

I'm a male who started dating the younger female sibling of a female friend of mine. Our relationship is great, but I essentially lost my friend in the process. Family functions are strange, and it has caused a lot of commotion... However this is shaping up to be a long term relationship at this point and I truly feel that everything worth it comes at a price...