This is an account of my very first date in L.A. And even though I may come across as hard on him in this post....he was actually really fun, not bad to look at at all and really kept me laughing. Just a little rough around the edges.
When I first moved out to L.A in June of 2005 I didn't really know many people. I did have one friend though, (other than my Uncle that I was living with) Michael, and he invited me to a bonfire on the beach with some of his film school friends. It was a good time (my first bonfire on the beach!) and the ocean was even glowing different colors. That's right. I don't know how to really explain that to you – or the scientific-ness of it all – all I know is I as one giddy Midwesterner caught up in the wonder of it all. But, apparently my Midwesterness did not turn Ferris (no, this is not his real name) off from asking me for my number at the end of the night.
Now – before I go into the rest of our story let me pause here and give you a hint as to whether I should have give him my number or not. After the bonfire we all went to a local bar that was in the beach town. We had a good time. Ferris was driving home so he was "taming" his intake of alcohol (apparently). As we drove out of Huntington Beach we had Queen's Greatest Hits in (who DOESN'T love Queen…please) and were all singing along. Ferris asked us all to keep it calm as we were driving out of town because "I don't want to get pulled over. I am good enough to drive but I am not good enough to blow into one of those tubey things." Awesome. I feel safe.
So, we get back to where I am being dropped off and Ferris asks me for my number. No excuse comes to my mine. No fake number. Nothing. And so almost like an out of body experience I hear myself giving him my ACTUAL number – what?!?! At least he is cute.
He ends up calling me about a week later. Wants to know if I would like to go to a comedy show at the Improv in Irvine. Actually sounds like a fun time to me. So I agree. I plan to meet him at his house in Riverside, CA. and we will drive together from there.
The evening was….interesting to say the least. Let me save you all the suspense and let you know that we never ended up going out again. And I bet I can give you a couple ideas why.
He kept me laughing the whole night. HILARIOUS guy – really. He was in film school to be a writer. I can see why. The guy was stinking creative. (This is not really one of the ideas we never went out again - just a side note).
He loved to smoke weed (emphases on loved...LOVED). It did not take long to realize this. More of this will come into play later in the evening as I take you through it – but at one point waiting in line to go into the show he points at one of the really large potted plants outside the mall area and says "just bear with me for a second, how much pot do you think you could fit into one of those things?" don't know Ferris, never really pondered those deeper questions of life before…
He asked me if I was 21 right before going in…I kind of think he was hoping I was going to say no.
When we got in the waitress came to our table to take our drink order. Now…I was the one student at Bethel University that actually lived by the Lifestyle Statement/Covenant thing. I figured since I was in leadership I should obey those things. So I never had any alcohol before coming to CA. This was actually going to be my first experience ORDERING myself an alcoholic beverage – I had no idea what I was doing.
I stared at the menu.
What the hell is sex on the beach? Orgasm? Am I really ordering a DRINK here??? What's going on?
So he orders his gin and tonic and I say I need a few more minutes to decide. I then lean over to him and proceed to tell him that I have never before ordered an alcoholic beverage. Now – this is shocking to him because he loves his alcoholic beverages. We're talking about the guy who would date older women when he was in high school so they could buy him beer (yeah, he told me this).
"I had a cape cod once"
"Then just order that"
And so I did. And I bet his favorite part of the evening was when I cut him off at two drinks because he was driving home (I think our incident from the other evening made me nervous). I didn't understand at that time that other people have a higher tolerance for alcohol – especially someone who has been building it up since they were 12.
After the show (which was HILARIOUS by the way – Frank Caliendo) we went back to his place. I didn't really want to hang out longer so I don't know why I agreed – but I did. I am new to this. He suggested that we watch this old sitcom he had on DVD (don't remember what it was - but it was bad). When I agreed he took it back and said he didn't want to:
"I actually told myself I would never watch that again unless I was really drunk or high."
"Then why did you suggest that we watch it?"
"I guess I was hoping you would suggest we get drunk or high"
Hmmmm…..I left shortly after that.