So, remember the barista? Well I went in again when he was working [don't know how I figured out he was there...] and I was:
1. Greeted BY NAME [not my full name, just Yeti, but that's the only part of my name he knows...]
2. Greeted WITH A SMILE [sure, he's a smiley guy, but I am pretty sure it was EXTRA big this time]
3. He REMEMBERED my drink [friends, I am what they like to call picky. There are 3 things on top of just what kind of drink I want that he had to remember...he remembered them all!]
All I'm saying is...It Must Be Real, no one just DOES their job that well.
3.13.2008
3.12.2008
I Didn't Mean It Like That
The other day I was talking to a married male friend [MMF] of mine…the conversation went as follows:
Yeti: "So, I am going to try to ask this question without sounding like I am hitting on you" [first of all, grrrrrrreat way to start a conversation and the asking of a question.]
MMF: [nervous laughter] "OK, how about I just assume you're never hitting on me."
Yeti: "Yes! That's good – cause I am not. [holding on to whatever dignity is left] OK, anyway. Do you have a brother?" [Yeti now realizes that among friends this is not that strange of a question and she did not really need to start it with the 'hitting on you' opener]
MMF: "Nope. It's just me"
You think I would be satisfied with that answer. A quick OK. Maybe even a smile. Walk away. But, no.
Yeti: "Have any clones of yourself anywhere?"
Yeah…I should always remember not to qualify things before I start talking and then to just STOP talking.
Yeti: "So, I am going to try to ask this question without sounding like I am hitting on you" [first of all, grrrrrrreat way to start a conversation and the asking of a question.]
MMF: [nervous laughter] "OK, how about I just assume you're never hitting on me."
Yeti: "Yes! That's good – cause I am not. [holding on to whatever dignity is left] OK, anyway. Do you have a brother?" [Yeti now realizes that among friends this is not that strange of a question and she did not really need to start it with the 'hitting on you' opener]
MMF: "Nope. It's just me"
You think I would be satisfied with that answer. A quick OK. Maybe even a smile. Walk away. But, no.
Yeti: "Have any clones of yourself anywhere?"
Yeah…I should always remember not to qualify things before I start talking and then to just STOP talking.
3.11.2008
It Must Be Real
It was the summer of 2001 that I first learned this great concept. I, of course, always knew it. It is ingrained in every woman. But we don't realize this is what we are doing when we are doing it. I learned several great lessons that summer [and not all of them were about boys!]. "Trips to Italy," "Tossing the lettuce," etc. Muffy [now goes by Meredith] was so educational and inspirational.
It Must Be Real is the trap women fall into when they are delusional [which, I hate to admit, is much of the time] about a boy. We can't see straight so suddenly everything we see becomes a sign that we should be together – this boy is perfect – he can do no wrong – and God has created us exactly for each other, we are quite sure of it.
Let me give you a few examples:
"Oh my gosh…he wore his Northface fleece today and so did I….IT MUST BE REAL!"
"Oh my gosh…he likes the show Everest: Beyond the Limit and I've been to Nepal…IT MUST BE REAL!"
"Oh my gosh…he's eating purple grapes and my favorite color is purple…IT MUST BE REAL!"
"Oh my gosh…he showed up for the free screening of Trade, that must mean he cares about the sexually exploited just like I do…IT MUST BE REAL"
"Oh my gosh…he works in a coffee shop and I am addicted to coffee…IT MUST BE REAL!"
[Note: I certainly have never though any of the above mentioned things…these are merely hypothetical examples]
OK…so some of those are pretty ridiculous, but girls actually do that. If you both happen to be wearing sweater vests on the exact some day you can bet there are wedding bells in your future. Who else could be so perfectly knitted to her heart in such a fantastically unique way?
It Must Be Real is the trap women fall into when they are delusional [which, I hate to admit, is much of the time] about a boy. We can't see straight so suddenly everything we see becomes a sign that we should be together – this boy is perfect – he can do no wrong – and God has created us exactly for each other, we are quite sure of it.
Let me give you a few examples:
"Oh my gosh…he wore his Northface fleece today and so did I….IT MUST BE REAL!"
"Oh my gosh…he likes the show Everest: Beyond the Limit and I've been to Nepal…IT MUST BE REAL!"
"Oh my gosh…he's eating purple grapes and my favorite color is purple…IT MUST BE REAL!"
"Oh my gosh…he showed up for the free screening of Trade, that must mean he cares about the sexually exploited just like I do…IT MUST BE REAL"
"Oh my gosh…he works in a coffee shop and I am addicted to coffee…IT MUST BE REAL!"
[Note: I certainly have never though any of the above mentioned things…these are merely hypothetical examples]
OK…so some of those are pretty ridiculous, but girls actually do that. If you both happen to be wearing sweater vests on the exact some day you can bet there are wedding bells in your future. Who else could be so perfectly knitted to her heart in such a fantastically unique way?
3.10.2008
Girl Rules
What’s with those “girlfriend rules”? We have all these funny idea of who can date whom and who can be friends with whom.
Yeti: "He’s cute T, go for it!"
Tracy: "Yeah, but I think he has a girlfriend"
Jennifer: "Oh, she’s just a speed bump. You know, a proceed with caution sign."
Well, as much as we like Jennifer’s advice, that’s not the way it works if it’s within friends. Even after a couple has broken up. Or even if they didn’t ever really date but just went out a couple of times – there are still these unpublished RULES that govern the appropriateness of our relationships with those around us after they have taken interest in a friend of ours.
I get it – but I don’t get it. If a guy doesn’t like me why should I force every other girl in my life not to be with him? “If he doesn’t want to be with me he doesn’t get to be with ANYONE!” It’s like we think if we just wait a LITTLE longer maybe he’ll change his mind. I realize he’s asking my friend out – but I STILL think if he REALLY knew me he would change his mind…
Yeti: "He’s cute T, go for it!"
Tracy: "Yeah, but I think he has a girlfriend"
Jennifer: "Oh, she’s just a speed bump. You know, a proceed with caution sign."
Well, as much as we like Jennifer’s advice, that’s not the way it works if it’s within friends. Even after a couple has broken up. Or even if they didn’t ever really date but just went out a couple of times – there are still these unpublished RULES that govern the appropriateness of our relationships with those around us after they have taken interest in a friend of ours.
I get it – but I don’t get it. If a guy doesn’t like me why should I force every other girl in my life not to be with him? “If he doesn’t want to be with me he doesn’t get to be with ANYONE!” It’s like we think if we just wait a LITTLE longer maybe he’ll change his mind. I realize he’s asking my friend out – but I STILL think if he REALLY knew me he would change his mind…
3.08.2008
Blind Dates
What is it with married people so desperately wanting to get their single friends married? Is there like a club you all have? You get points toward a Nintendo Wii if you get enough other people hooked up in marriage?
Lately I have felt like there is something about me – some look on my face – that says “single and desperate and looking for love”. I cannot tell you HOW MANY people lately have told me they have someone they can set me up with. I don’t need to be set up [yes, actually I do. I need all the help I can get, but I am not going to admit that to them] especially if they live in a whole different state. Come on!!
A friend of mine told me I am looking at this the wrong way. I should think of it as the person saying: “I have found this truly amazing person who is…oh my gosh…single! I want them to meet this other amazing person I know of because I think they are both really amazing.” Blah blah blah…something like that.
Call it what you want – I hate blind dates. Ask my friend Michael who hooked me up on one last year – apparently I am not to kind on them either. I don’t really hide my true feelings all that well [thus, this blog]. I’ll tell you about that whole episode later.
So maybe I have a skewed view – thanks for all the help friends…but I don’t want to meet that super nice guy you know.
Lately I have felt like there is something about me – some look on my face – that says “single and desperate and looking for love”. I cannot tell you HOW MANY people lately have told me they have someone they can set me up with. I don’t need to be set up [yes, actually I do. I need all the help I can get, but I am not going to admit that to them] especially if they live in a whole different state. Come on!!
A friend of mine told me I am looking at this the wrong way. I should think of it as the person saying: “I have found this truly amazing person who is…oh my gosh…single! I want them to meet this other amazing person I know of because I think they are both really amazing.” Blah blah blah…something like that.
Call it what you want – I hate blind dates. Ask my friend Michael who hooked me up on one last year – apparently I am not to kind on them either. I don’t really hide my true feelings all that well [thus, this blog]. I’ll tell you about that whole episode later.
So maybe I have a skewed view – thanks for all the help friends…but I don’t want to meet that super nice guy you know.
3.07.2008
Flirting vs. Friendly
How do you let the barista at the coffee shop behind the counter know you're interested in him? I can't tell yet if he's picking up what I'm putting down. There is only so much laughing-at-his-stupid-jokes or asking-the-surface-questions or trying-to-graze-his-hand-as-he-passes-you-the-drink you can do. Especially when all those damn customers come up behind you. Umm – HELLO!!! Hating on my game. I realize I am already addicted to coffee so trying to go several more times a day is not helping…
3.06.2008
The K.I.S.S Principle
I was chatting with my friend "hugs" the other day. To be honest, I don't really remember what we were talking about. I think it might have been about a class presentation. But I know that it brought about the K.I.S.S Principle (Keep It Simple Stupid). A teacher of his in high school had first taught him that phrase and it had stuck with him ever sense.
As the conversation proceeded [or I should say wrapped up] this is what happened:
Yeti: We should grab coffee sometime
Hugs: That would be great
Yeti: Did I just ask you out?
Hugs: Naw, you're just making it happen. We'll chat about life and love and beauty and all that matters in the world.
Yeti: Yeah, and we'll KISS. [Yeti turns a shade slightly pinker then she naturally is] Errr….
Hugs: Whatever comes naturally [wink]
Always add PRINCIPLE after the word KISS, it's very important! Or just say the whole phrase…it really doesn’t take that much longer.
As the conversation proceeded [or I should say wrapped up] this is what happened:
Yeti: We should grab coffee sometime
Hugs: That would be great
Yeti: Did I just ask you out?
Hugs: Naw, you're just making it happen. We'll chat about life and love and beauty and all that matters in the world.
Yeti: Yeah, and we'll KISS. [Yeti turns a shade slightly pinker then she naturally is] Errr….
Hugs: Whatever comes naturally [wink]
Always add PRINCIPLE after the word KISS, it's very important! Or just say the whole phrase…it really doesn’t take that much longer.
3.05.2008
Innocent Words?
There are way to many ambiguous words today. Too much for a helpless girl to read into…
Friend: one might not think this one can be confusing. But try this on for size “you are such an amazing friend. Seriously, one of the best.” While he uses the word friend his undertones say L-O-V-E-R
You are so special to me: this SHOULD mean I really want to be with you but I am afraid of messing this up: what it ACTUALLY means is do you think you could hook me up with your roommate?
Sweetheart: this SHOULD mean I want to be dating you: what it ACTUALLY means is thanks for fulfilling my emotional needs.
Hey Babe: this SHOULD mean I wish you were mine: what it ACTUALLY means is I had bacon for breakfast
Miss You: this SHOULD mean I can’t live without you, there is a void in my life: what it ACTUALLY means is I couldn’t think of another tag-line for my email.
I was thinking about you: this SHOULD mean I-want-you-I-need-you-oh-baby-oh-baby: what it ACTUALLY means is I just watched a rerun of I Love Lucy
Call Me: this SHOULD mean I can’t wait to talk to you and want you to feel like you can contact me anytime: what it ACTUALLY means is we ain’t ever going to talk again unless I stop screening my calls.
Lady: this SHOULD mean I really respect you and think you are a fantastic person I could actually see myself having a future with: what it ACTUALLY means is you remind me a lot of my grandmother.
Let’s Hang Out Sometime: this SHOULD mean I really enjoy your company: what it ACTUALLY means is I’ll probably be busy.
Friend: one might not think this one can be confusing. But try this on for size “you are such an amazing friend. Seriously, one of the best.” While he uses the word friend his undertones say L-O-V-E-R
You are so special to me: this SHOULD mean I really want to be with you but I am afraid of messing this up: what it ACTUALLY means is do you think you could hook me up with your roommate?
Sweetheart: this SHOULD mean I want to be dating you: what it ACTUALLY means is thanks for fulfilling my emotional needs.
Hey Babe: this SHOULD mean I wish you were mine: what it ACTUALLY means is I had bacon for breakfast
Miss You: this SHOULD mean I can’t live without you, there is a void in my life: what it ACTUALLY means is I couldn’t think of another tag-line for my email.
I was thinking about you: this SHOULD mean I-want-you-I-need-you-oh-baby-oh-baby: what it ACTUALLY means is I just watched a rerun of I Love Lucy
Call Me: this SHOULD mean I can’t wait to talk to you and want you to feel like you can contact me anytime: what it ACTUALLY means is we ain’t ever going to talk again unless I stop screening my calls.
Lady: this SHOULD mean I really respect you and think you are a fantastic person I could actually see myself having a future with: what it ACTUALLY means is you remind me a lot of my grandmother.
Let’s Hang Out Sometime: this SHOULD mean I really enjoy your company: what it ACTUALLY means is I’ll probably be busy.
3.04.2008
E-Card
A good friend of mine sent me this card – apparently she thought of me when she saw it. I choose to be flattered…
Check it out here
Is it bad that I really want to pass this on to that guy that makes my toes tingle? Help him out a bit? OK...I wouldn't really. And I am not quite sure how I would react if some guy sent this to me.
Check it out here
Is it bad that I really want to pass this on to that guy that makes my toes tingle? Help him out a bit? OK...I wouldn't really. And I am not quite sure how I would react if some guy sent this to me.
3.03.2008
T-Shirt
I was walking through old town yesterday afternoon when an old friend was in town. We passed a guy on the street. He was kind of cute – looked pretty stylish. As I passed him I gave him a little smile. Then I read his t-shirt…
"Smile at me if you are gay"
Oh no! I didn't read your t-shirt before smiling at you. I didn't really mean to smile. I mean, I did, but I didn't. I didn't mean to smile at you once I read your shirt. It had nothing to do with your shirt!!!
OK…I feel better.
"Smile at me if you are gay"
Oh no! I didn't read your t-shirt before smiling at you. I didn't really mean to smile. I mean, I did, but I didn't. I didn't mean to smile at you once I read your shirt. It had nothing to do with your shirt!!!
OK…I feel better.
3.02.2008
Yeti Needs
So, by now you have probably heard of this little game…little trick…of putting your name and then the word “needs” into a google search. It is quite revealing. I now no longer feel like I need to pay for therapy (just kidding roomies!)
These were some of my top hits
Yeti needs moon tea [yes…tea does sound nice]
Yeti needs a piece of mind [just one will do, thank you]
Yeti needs to return to the Victorian era
Yeti needs to completely restore her homeland [ok…good luck to me]
Yeti needs a bad boy, not a saint [ha...that one is painfully true!]
Yeti needs a bath
Yeti needs to revive herself [probably with a bath]
Yeti needs another mocha [how well google knows me!]
Yeti needs more airtime [I DO love attention]
Yeti needs to drink more to avoid kidney problems [do the mochas count?]
Yeti needs to buy drinks and cookies
Yeti needs to get into a bikini [woah…lost me there]
Yeti needs an ass whoopin’ [some might agree with this one]
Yeti needs to go to la-la-land [live there]
Yeti needs prayer to get her babies back in her arms
Yeti needs new shoes [always]
Yeti needs sex [I am in no place to argue with google]
Yeti needs an adoptive family who will love her unconditionally
Yeti needs to prove that she is not gay in order to adopt her baby [how in the WORLD am I going to do that?]
Yetei needs to worry about leaving a legacy [pretty sure I’ve done that…maybe I should focus on leaving a GOOD one]
Yeti needs her to babysit, but she should ask ahead of time
Yeti needs those notes, but they’re not a crutch
Yeti needs the first day after a promotion
Yeti needs to know her boss, her friends and the atmosphere very well before bypassing everyone
Yeti needs to lose some weight [well, thank you for your honesty google]
Yeti needs to go to the gym if she wants to stay an A-list movie star [HEY! at least I have a membership!]
And my favorite one…
Yeti needs to reinforce that Andy and his talent is needed for team success [wow, Andy, I am so sorry I have not been doing this enough…you AND your talent are NEEDED for our team’s success!]
So…what do you think? Have any you would like to add to the list? What do YOU need?
These were some of my top hits
Yeti needs moon tea [yes…tea does sound nice]
Yeti needs a piece of mind [just one will do, thank you]
Yeti needs to return to the Victorian era
Yeti needs to completely restore her homeland [ok…good luck to me]
Yeti needs a bad boy, not a saint [ha...that one is painfully true!]
Yeti needs a bath
Yeti needs to revive herself [probably with a bath]
Yeti needs another mocha [how well google knows me!]
Yeti needs more airtime [I DO love attention]
Yeti needs to drink more to avoid kidney problems [do the mochas count?]
Yeti needs to buy drinks and cookies
Yeti needs to get into a bikini [woah…lost me there]
Yeti needs an ass whoopin’ [some might agree with this one]
Yeti needs to go to la-la-land [live there]
Yeti needs prayer to get her babies back in her arms
Yeti needs new shoes [always]
Yeti needs sex [I am in no place to argue with google]
Yeti needs an adoptive family who will love her unconditionally
Yeti needs to prove that she is not gay in order to adopt her baby [how in the WORLD am I going to do that?]
Yetei needs to worry about leaving a legacy [pretty sure I’ve done that…maybe I should focus on leaving a GOOD one]
Yeti needs her to babysit, but she should ask ahead of time
Yeti needs those notes, but they’re not a crutch
Yeti needs the first day after a promotion
Yeti needs to know her boss, her friends and the atmosphere very well before bypassing everyone
Yeti needs to lose some weight [well, thank you for your honesty google]
Yeti needs to go to the gym if she wants to stay an A-list movie star [HEY! at least I have a membership!]
And my favorite one…
Yeti needs to reinforce that Andy and his talent is needed for team success [wow, Andy, I am so sorry I have not been doing this enough…you AND your talent are NEEDED for our team’s success!]
So…what do you think? Have any you would like to add to the list? What do YOU need?
3.01.2008
Profile Questions
I was on one online site filling out the initial profile questions when I came upon this one:
“How important is sex to you”
I don’t remember all of the options, I just remember I chose the one that said:
“I am still a virgin”
Hmmm, I guess I just put it on out there.
...I kind of wonder if some of them think I am kidding?
“How important is sex to you”
I don’t remember all of the options, I just remember I chose the one that said:
“I am still a virgin”
Hmmm, I guess I just put it on out there.
...I kind of wonder if some of them think I am kidding?
2.29.2008
Compulsive Liar
I was talking with a friend today about my blog, particularly the post with all the free dating sites, and she says to me: "Is there a site for people who hate compulsive liars?"
Um….I am pretty sure you shouldn't be trying online dating if that's what you're looking for.
And these were the hits I got when you type that search into google
Apparently there IS no site you can go to – and one of the links even confirms that EVERYONE is a liar. Sorry.
Um….I am pretty sure you shouldn't be trying online dating if that's what you're looking for.
And these were the hits I got when you type that search into google
Apparently there IS no site you can go to – and one of the links even confirms that EVERYONE is a liar. Sorry.
2.28.2008
The Writer
I have a good friend I was matched with on eHarmony – and although I did not mean for it to get back to him, he found out that I said his profile sucked. We later talked about it and in a LOVING way I told him he really didn’t put his best foot forward. I just felt there was so much more about himself he wasn’t sharing – and everything he did share sounded so bland (to which he replied “it’s not my fault, they wouldn’t let me use crayon” – nice!).
So, this is not his profile, this is merely another example of a guy that I hope has a girl in his life that is going to lovingly tell him that his profile sucks. This comes from plentyoffish.com.
----------------------------------
I think it's a very nice website to know people through.
I am just a deep hearted man, looking for an emotional heart and meeting a woman who has angel's eyes, and child's heart. [not quite sure what this means, but it DOES make me slightly uncomfortable – although, Christ did say in the Bible we need to come to him with the heart of a child so…maybe it is Biblical?]
I am stable, responsible, hard worker, moral, have a lot of plans for a happy and good future for me and my woman together. [pick a tense!]
I am honest but funny,( have my way to make you laugh), quite and talkative. [does that make anyone else nervous? What is this “way” he has to make you laugh? What are you going to do to me? And is that Quite talkative or quiet and talkative? I can’t tell if he has bad grammar or just contradicts himself.]
I can give my woman the pleasure of moment cause I know what she is worthy for. [A whole MOMENT of pleasure?!?! *sigh]
A good partner in the long talk(Listen to every thing my love wants me to hear) [I don’t do anything about it, but I nod and smile]
Any thing else??
I am a talented writer, [yes, we can see that already from the profile you have put together!] and some big directors and stations gave positive opinions for my scripts. [were they blind or lying?]
I have a creative mind, have BA in philosophy, and master in Education and teaching.
I was one of the best in my university. [no comment]
I hate to make games with people, so I hate they do too with me.
WOMAN IN MY LIFE:
I respect woman, and believe my future woman will make me perfect(or better). [good luck with that! We love it when guys think that]
I am looking for a serious friendship with an open mind, smart, spirtual woman, who loves people, and believes in the importance of friendship between the couple. [I think he is maybe talking about foursomes here??]
So, this is not his profile, this is merely another example of a guy that I hope has a girl in his life that is going to lovingly tell him that his profile sucks. This comes from plentyoffish.com.
----------------------------------
I think it's a very nice website to know people through.
I am just a deep hearted man, looking for an emotional heart and meeting a woman who has angel's eyes, and child's heart. [not quite sure what this means, but it DOES make me slightly uncomfortable – although, Christ did say in the Bible we need to come to him with the heart of a child so…maybe it is Biblical?]
I am stable, responsible, hard worker, moral, have a lot of plans for a happy and good future for me and my woman together. [pick a tense!]
I am honest but funny,( have my way to make you laugh), quite and talkative. [does that make anyone else nervous? What is this “way” he has to make you laugh? What are you going to do to me? And is that Quite talkative or quiet and talkative? I can’t tell if he has bad grammar or just contradicts himself.]
I can give my woman the pleasure of moment cause I know what she is worthy for. [A whole MOMENT of pleasure?!?! *sigh]
A good partner in the long talk(Listen to every thing my love wants me to hear) [I don’t do anything about it, but I nod and smile]
Any thing else??
I am a talented writer, [yes, we can see that already from the profile you have put together!] and some big directors and stations gave positive opinions for my scripts. [were they blind or lying?]
I have a creative mind, have BA in philosophy, and master in Education and teaching.
I was one of the best in my university. [no comment]
I hate to make games with people, so I hate they do too with me.
WOMAN IN MY LIFE:
I respect woman, and believe my future woman will make me perfect(or better). [good luck with that! We love it when guys think that]
I am looking for a serious friendship with an open mind, smart, spirtual woman, who loves people, and believes in the importance of friendship between the couple. [I think he is maybe talking about foursomes here??]
2.27.2008
Public Transportation Guy
I met a guy on the metro once. I don't ride it very often I am sad to report. But my friends and I were going down to Hollywood to prescreen the "Blades of Glory" movie. On our way back the train was pretty full so I ended up sitting apart from my group. I was next to this guy who tried to strike up a conversation with me.
He had just moved up to L.A from San Diego with his cousin to try and start a business or something [he could have told me he was selling drugs to little kids after school on the playground and I probably wouldn't have remembered that either – I wasn't really into the conversation]
He took an interest in my life why I was in his part of town, if I came here often, what I do…essentially leading to "can we meet up half way sometime?" [P.S…LOVE the chivalry of guys these days. What ever happened to picking the girl up? Or going to meet her? Now we've gotta meet half way or she has to come to you cause you hate the traffic on the 210? Well…guess what…so do I. And you aren't even that good-looking]
I told him I was not really interested and didn't want to give him my number so he decided he wanted to bless me with his number [HOW he still thought I might call him is beyond me – props for confidence] So as we reach his stop he starts to get up:
Metro: "You have something to write with?"
Yeti: "um…no."
Metro: "Well, find something. I've gotta give you my number so we can meet up for coffee."
Yeti: "oh, ok…" [Yeti reluctantly grabs a bank statement out of her purse and finds a pen laying on the floor]
Metro: "alright, you ready? [walking out the door] it's 323.807 [doors are starting to close, on top of him] no, wait, sorry 323.867.5309 [I actually just made up that number (it's from the song Jenny) because he yelled the rest of his number at me while the doors were close and the train had started moving]
I humor him by pretending I am writing it down [you know, giving the 'ol smile and head nod]. I wonder if he actually though I would ever call…
He had just moved up to L.A from San Diego with his cousin to try and start a business or something [he could have told me he was selling drugs to little kids after school on the playground and I probably wouldn't have remembered that either – I wasn't really into the conversation]
He took an interest in my life why I was in his part of town, if I came here often, what I do…essentially leading to "can we meet up half way sometime?" [P.S…LOVE the chivalry of guys these days. What ever happened to picking the girl up? Or going to meet her? Now we've gotta meet half way or she has to come to you cause you hate the traffic on the 210? Well…guess what…so do I. And you aren't even that good-looking]
I told him I was not really interested and didn't want to give him my number so he decided he wanted to bless me with his number [HOW he still thought I might call him is beyond me – props for confidence] So as we reach his stop he starts to get up:
Metro: "You have something to write with?"
Yeti: "um…no."
Metro: "Well, find something. I've gotta give you my number so we can meet up for coffee."
Yeti: "oh, ok…" [Yeti reluctantly grabs a bank statement out of her purse and finds a pen laying on the floor]
Metro: "alright, you ready? [walking out the door] it's 323.807 [doors are starting to close, on top of him] no, wait, sorry 323.867.5309 [I actually just made up that number (it's from the song Jenny) because he yelled the rest of his number at me while the doors were close and the train had started moving]
I humor him by pretending I am writing it down [you know, giving the 'ol smile and head nod]. I wonder if he actually though I would ever call…
2.26.2008
Get Out There
No need to lie – I know there are many of you seeking out stories just like mine. You can wait to get out there and meet mr. self-deprecating or mr. other or, perhaps even, mr. right?!?!
I wanted to be sure I resourced you with the many ways out there you could do that. Most of you probably didn't even realize this many (FREE) dating sites were out there!
[Note: I am NOT on all of these sites...probably not even half. OK, seriously though, I have probably only tried four. But if you find any of these helpful or hilarious please do share]
Let's start with some generic ones – for those of you who just want to get out there are meet a variety of people:
eHarmony.com (wait….this one is NOT free)
match.com (neither is this one…well, it is free to look)
personals.salon.com
plentyoffish.com (that's right….Goooooooo fishing!)
eromance.com
Matchdoctor.com
Hellodarling.com (I THINK this had about 4 people on it…)
4ppl.com (for dating AND friends!!)
connectingsingles.com (you can "flower" people here)
lets101.com (making sure you get a date and the date is right for YOU!)
bookofmatches.com
sugardaddyforme.com (wanna date rich men?)
webdate.com
jumpdates.com
allsinglesmeet.com
true.com
desperateanddateless.com
clicktomyheart.com
OR maybe you are looking for something specific – someone with that specific quirk you also share:
welovetoo.com (for the disabled)
doglover.biz
coupleslookingforcouples.com
agelesscupid.com (wealthy)
nerdpassions.com (are you a nerd or geek?)
lefthand.date.com (for people that are left-handed)
punkpassions.com
smokingpassions.com (love smoking?)
gardeningpassions.com
gothicmatch.com (you goth?)
been-dumped.com (divorced and dumped members)
gifishing.com (military)
uniformedcupid.com (military)
redheadpassions.com (for red-heads)
datemypet.com (date me…AND my pet!)
ethicalsingles.com (care about humans, animals, the earth, etc.)
transpassions.com (transsexuals)
herpesmate.com
zingdating.com (alcoholics/addiction)
justmaclovers.com (prefer MACs over PCs?)
sportsfansmatch.com
brewmate.com (for home brewers)
fem2femconnect.com
datingwithchildren.net
singlescorral.com (for country singles)
bikerkiss.com (biker babes and biker boys)
trekpassions.com (love star wars?)
positivesings.com (herpes/HIV)
pozitiveliving.com (HIV/AIDS)
agematch.com (inter-age dating)
romanticatheart.com (senior)
deafs.com (deaf people)
bicupid.com (bi-curious or bi-sexual)
loveyoga.com
veggiefishing.com (for vegetarians)
rockabillydate.com (are you a rockabilly)
tattoopassions.com (do you have or like tattoos?)
Or maybe you prefer being with specific ethnicities:
lovelyarab.com
romaniandating.net
afrointroductions.com
nepalisingles.com
koreanfriends.com
brazilcupid.com
iraniansingles.ws
armeniandating.com
loveindians.com
greekdateline.com
vietnamconnection.com
singlejew.com
latinrelationship.com
asiafuns.com
interracialsingleslove.com (or just mix it all together)
Maybe you just want to focus on people in your area. Be sure you'll get someone right down the street – or that guy you run into at the coffee shop…well, we've got sites for you too.
Birminghamsingles.com
Atlanticcitysingles.com
Littlerocksingles.com
Coloradospringssingles.com
grandforkssingles.com
Newhavensingles.com
Longviewsingles.com
Scrantonsingles.com
Worchestersingles.com
Jupitersingles.com
Ftmyerssingles.com
Greensborosingles.com
Tusconsinglesonline.com
Stocktonsingles.com
Daytonabeachsingles.com
Fortpiercesingles.com
Raleighsingles.com
Richmondsingles.com
Chattanoogasinglesonline.com
Lancastersingles.com
Pasadenasingles.org
Lexingtonsinges.com
Atlantasinglesonline.com
Midlandsingles.com
And…just for my own enjoyment, I found one in Nepal ☺
aloneinkathmandu.com
And for you conservative (pray-without-ceasing) types, maybe you are interested in going down the Christian road. Only want to find that special someone who has also been dipped in the blood – redeemed by the lamb? You are in LUCK!!
equallyyoked.com
baptistdating.com
bigchurch.com
catholicmingle.com
christianmingle.com
------------------------------------
AND NOW! Additions - which have been YOUR suggestions. Other sites you have found and added to my list. What a great (and ridiculous) resource this has become. Keep checking back for more!!
dateacougar.com
fitness-singles.com (the couple that lifts weights together, stays together)
okcupid.com/interests?i=knitting (Find other singles interested in knitting - apparently okcupid can accommodate many different types of interest so don't stop at just knitting!)
growyourgame.com (OK, not technically a dating site - but a little help for guys not quite ready to meet your online match, a few tips to add to your repertoire of macking skills)
I wanted to be sure I resourced you with the many ways out there you could do that. Most of you probably didn't even realize this many (FREE) dating sites were out there!
[Note: I am NOT on all of these sites...probably not even half. OK, seriously though, I have probably only tried four. But if you find any of these helpful or hilarious please do share]
Let's start with some generic ones – for those of you who just want to get out there are meet a variety of people:
eHarmony.com (wait….this one is NOT free)
match.com (neither is this one…well, it is free to look)
personals.salon.com
plentyoffish.com (that's right….Goooooooo fishing!)
eromance.com
Matchdoctor.com
Hellodarling.com (I THINK this had about 4 people on it…)
4ppl.com (for dating AND friends!!)
connectingsingles.com (you can "flower" people here)
lets101.com (making sure you get a date and the date is right for YOU!)
bookofmatches.com
sugardaddyforme.com (wanna date rich men?)
webdate.com
jumpdates.com
allsinglesmeet.com
true.com
desperateanddateless.com
clicktomyheart.com
OR maybe you are looking for something specific – someone with that specific quirk you also share:
welovetoo.com (for the disabled)
doglover.biz
coupleslookingforcouples.com
agelesscupid.com (wealthy)
nerdpassions.com (are you a nerd or geek?)
lefthand.date.com (for people that are left-handed)
punkpassions.com
smokingpassions.com (love smoking?)
gardeningpassions.com
gothicmatch.com (you goth?)
been-dumped.com (divorced and dumped members)
gifishing.com (military)
uniformedcupid.com (military)
redheadpassions.com (for red-heads)
datemypet.com (date me…AND my pet!)
ethicalsingles.com (care about humans, animals, the earth, etc.)
transpassions.com (transsexuals)
herpesmate.com
zingdating.com (alcoholics/addiction)
justmaclovers.com (prefer MACs over PCs?)
sportsfansmatch.com
brewmate.com (for home brewers)
fem2femconnect.com
datingwithchildren.net
singlescorral.com (for country singles)
bikerkiss.com (biker babes and biker boys)
trekpassions.com (love star wars?)
positivesings.com (herpes/HIV)
pozitiveliving.com (HIV/AIDS)
agematch.com (inter-age dating)
romanticatheart.com (senior)
deafs.com (deaf people)
bicupid.com (bi-curious or bi-sexual)
loveyoga.com
veggiefishing.com (for vegetarians)
rockabillydate.com (are you a rockabilly)
tattoopassions.com (do you have or like tattoos?)
Or maybe you prefer being with specific ethnicities:
lovelyarab.com
romaniandating.net
afrointroductions.com
nepalisingles.com
koreanfriends.com
brazilcupid.com
iraniansingles.ws
armeniandating.com
loveindians.com
greekdateline.com
vietnamconnection.com
singlejew.com
latinrelationship.com
asiafuns.com
interracialsingleslove.com (or just mix it all together)
Maybe you just want to focus on people in your area. Be sure you'll get someone right down the street – or that guy you run into at the coffee shop…well, we've got sites for you too.
Birminghamsingles.com
Atlanticcitysingles.com
Littlerocksingles.com
Coloradospringssingles.com
grandforkssingles.com
Newhavensingles.com
Longviewsingles.com
Scrantonsingles.com
Worchestersingles.com
Jupitersingles.com
Ftmyerssingles.com
Greensborosingles.com
Tusconsinglesonline.com
Stocktonsingles.com
Daytonabeachsingles.com
Fortpiercesingles.com
Raleighsingles.com
Richmondsingles.com
Chattanoogasinglesonline.com
Lancastersingles.com
Pasadenasingles.org
Lexingtonsinges.com
Atlantasinglesonline.com
Midlandsingles.com
And…just for my own enjoyment, I found one in Nepal ☺
aloneinkathmandu.com
And for you conservative (pray-without-ceasing) types, maybe you are interested in going down the Christian road. Only want to find that special someone who has also been dipped in the blood – redeemed by the lamb? You are in LUCK!!
equallyyoked.com
baptistdating.com
bigchurch.com
catholicmingle.com
christianmingle.com
------------------------------------
AND NOW! Additions - which have been YOUR suggestions. Other sites you have found and added to my list. What a great (and ridiculous) resource this has become. Keep checking back for more!!
dateacougar.com
fitness-singles.com (the couple that lifts weights together, stays together)
okcupid.com/interests?i=knitting (Find other singles interested in knitting - apparently okcupid can accommodate many different types of interest so don't stop at just knitting!)
growyourgame.com (OK, not technically a dating site - but a little help for guys not quite ready to meet your online match, a few tips to add to your repertoire of macking skills)
http://www.mdfriendly.com (For Medical and Nursing professionals)
http://www.oceanofdate.com
http://www.sugardaddie.com/ (Where the classy, attractive, and affluent meet)
http://www.sugardaddie.com/ (Where the classy, attractive, and affluent meet)
2.25.2008
open communication
And while we are on the topic of eHarmony – let’s talk about this GEM (literally…he collects rocks or something). I went all the way to open communication with this one and then THIS is what he hits me with:
"Hey there, finally open communication, haha. This will just be a random spilling of my heart on what I view a good relationship to be. I believe it starts off with having a personally strong relationship with God, followed by developing a friendship with someone who you can also build strong relationship on God. Without Him it is pointless. I look forward to finding that woman that I can pray with and study God's word with. Someone who god will use to bring out areas of myself that I never knew about. I see it like this. Until I knew god I didn't know who I was. But, as soon as I found Him He showed me who I was. Now, I believe I am complete with just God, but since I know God has a woman for me I know that there is a part of my life that isn't complete. I don’t need her to complete me and God, but I do want her because I know it is something God will use to change who I am. I can fear change, but I know in the end the right person will turn me into who God wants me to be. So far I look at my life and see the impact that everyone who has known me has had. Now, just imagine how much of an impact that perfect one for me will have. It blows my mind!!!! Now, I do understand having alone time and down time with friends and God. I am the type of guy that struggles with downtime. I would rather be with friends, but when I do have that downtime with just God I come away refreshed spiritually. I would never deny that time for someone I love. All my relationships in the past have been long distance, so there was just a natural balance of time alone. I am little interested to see how it will all play out in my future, but I know if it is someone God has for me I will desire to be with her a lot, haha. As God says, two will become one. It is interesting though how that will also play out. I believe we all have different things that make us who we are and that if I truly love someone those things will stay a part of them. I love my time with my guys and I would need it. But, at the drop of a dime I would give it up if my significant other needed me. I am not out to change someone, only to help them fall in love with God and to just be in a relationship of love, understanding, forgiveness, and taking this world by storm for God. Missions are something I am going to do. I don’t care where I go as long as God can use me I am willing. Nepal, China, Japan, India, my backyard. Wherever it is I want people to have a better view of God because of meeting me. Ok, enough of my randomness. I can write for hours, haha."
[They should really warn you they are this weird right off the bat…]
"Hey there, finally open communication, haha. This will just be a random spilling of my heart on what I view a good relationship to be. I believe it starts off with having a personally strong relationship with God, followed by developing a friendship with someone who you can also build strong relationship on God. Without Him it is pointless. I look forward to finding that woman that I can pray with and study God's word with. Someone who god will use to bring out areas of myself that I never knew about. I see it like this. Until I knew god I didn't know who I was. But, as soon as I found Him He showed me who I was. Now, I believe I am complete with just God, but since I know God has a woman for me I know that there is a part of my life that isn't complete. I don’t need her to complete me and God, but I do want her because I know it is something God will use to change who I am. I can fear change, but I know in the end the right person will turn me into who God wants me to be. So far I look at my life and see the impact that everyone who has known me has had. Now, just imagine how much of an impact that perfect one for me will have. It blows my mind!!!! Now, I do understand having alone time and down time with friends and God. I am the type of guy that struggles with downtime. I would rather be with friends, but when I do have that downtime with just God I come away refreshed spiritually. I would never deny that time for someone I love. All my relationships in the past have been long distance, so there was just a natural balance of time alone. I am little interested to see how it will all play out in my future, but I know if it is someone God has for me I will desire to be with her a lot, haha. As God says, two will become one. It is interesting though how that will also play out. I believe we all have different things that make us who we are and that if I truly love someone those things will stay a part of them. I love my time with my guys and I would need it. But, at the drop of a dime I would give it up if my significant other needed me. I am not out to change someone, only to help them fall in love with God and to just be in a relationship of love, understanding, forgiveness, and taking this world by storm for God. Missions are something I am going to do. I don’t care where I go as long as God can use me I am willing. Nepal, China, Japan, India, my backyard. Wherever it is I want people to have a better view of God because of meeting me. Ok, enough of my randomness. I can write for hours, haha."
[They should really warn you they are this weird right off the bat…]
2.24.2008
"Other"
Remember Rocker?
Apparently he has continued to ask Shooter when we can all hang out again. So I decide to get to the bottom of this ridiculous "other-ness". So, via facebook (I really do love facebook) we engage in a rather ridiculous conversation. Please…buckle up.
Yeti “So, you want to tell me what “other” meant?” [yes, I realize I am mean and beating a dead horse – but…that’s me!]
Rocker: “haha...wow, did you really just ask that??!! Thats really funny..."other" obviously meant "Im pretty sure God is gonna have a better way for us to meet in the future"...i hate eharm!! So are we gonna hang out again or what?
a. Definitely
b. Probably
c. Definitely not
d. Other :)”
[I am sad to report I did not change anything about this response. There really was a multiple choice and he really did blame it on God. ‘nuff said]
Yeti [not feeling like I could be very mean yet – I was partially afraid the God part was serious, this was my reply]
“i DID just ask that...i went there...and my answer is......
e. give me a real answer and we'll see.
To my roommates and I "other" meant - you're ugly - unless you were in the middle of talking to someone. There HAD to have been a reason you closed me other than "God will make us meet some other time" (ESPECIALLY since you didn't even remember me!)- I am sorry but I am just not going to let you get away with the "Christianize" answer :) fess up...what was it.”
Rocker: “Sorry about the christianize...its just so hard to not talk about God in all my conversation because I pray without ceasing. But I can see how a normal, mediocre christian wouldnt get that. haha
Dude, I close every match with "other." I think eharm is retarded. But to be honest I probably closed you cause you go to Fuller. I used to not think too highly of people who go there cause I had some bad experiences, and odds are I didnt even give you chance from the beginning just cause of that. Is it fair? Nope, but hey, you wanted honesty!”
[can’t say I blame him…. ☺]
Yeti “you caught me! most Fuller females are mediocre and lukewarm - i am no exception. it was good you closed me down before more of that truth came out.
WHY did you do eharmony if you hate it so much? you paid for it - you mind as well get the most out of it...no?
and i don't think your reason was bad - i closed every Fuller person i got matched with. i just refused to do the Fuller connection. not because of a bad experience...just cause i figured they should be able to ask me out after class, or get my email from our directory, or ask my roommate for my number...you know, some way less clinical.
well...glad that's settled. and please, stop closing girls with "other" - that is the worst response...”
[So, there you have it. Haven’t heard from him again. Maybe it’s over? Maybe he’s crafting a really good response? Only time will tell. The heathen seminary strikes again!]
Apparently he has continued to ask Shooter when we can all hang out again. So I decide to get to the bottom of this ridiculous "other-ness". So, via facebook (I really do love facebook) we engage in a rather ridiculous conversation. Please…buckle up.
Yeti “So, you want to tell me what “other” meant?” [yes, I realize I am mean and beating a dead horse – but…that’s me!]
Rocker: “haha...wow, did you really just ask that??!! Thats really funny..."other" obviously meant "Im pretty sure God is gonna have a better way for us to meet in the future"...i hate eharm!! So are we gonna hang out again or what?
a. Definitely
b. Probably
c. Definitely not
d. Other :)”
[I am sad to report I did not change anything about this response. There really was a multiple choice and he really did blame it on God. ‘nuff said]
Yeti [not feeling like I could be very mean yet – I was partially afraid the God part was serious, this was my reply]
“i DID just ask that...i went there...and my answer is......
e. give me a real answer and we'll see.
To my roommates and I "other" meant - you're ugly - unless you were in the middle of talking to someone. There HAD to have been a reason you closed me other than "God will make us meet some other time" (ESPECIALLY since you didn't even remember me!)- I am sorry but I am just not going to let you get away with the "Christianize" answer :) fess up...what was it.”
Rocker: “Sorry about the christianize...its just so hard to not talk about God in all my conversation because I pray without ceasing. But I can see how a normal, mediocre christian wouldnt get that. haha
Dude, I close every match with "other." I think eharm is retarded. But to be honest I probably closed you cause you go to Fuller. I used to not think too highly of people who go there cause I had some bad experiences, and odds are I didnt even give you chance from the beginning just cause of that. Is it fair? Nope, but hey, you wanted honesty!”
[can’t say I blame him…. ☺]
Yeti “you caught me! most Fuller females are mediocre and lukewarm - i am no exception. it was good you closed me down before more of that truth came out.
WHY did you do eharmony if you hate it so much? you paid for it - you mind as well get the most out of it...no?
and i don't think your reason was bad - i closed every Fuller person i got matched with. i just refused to do the Fuller connection. not because of a bad experience...just cause i figured they should be able to ask me out after class, or get my email from our directory, or ask my roommate for my number...you know, some way less clinical.
well...glad that's settled. and please, stop closing girls with "other" - that is the worst response...”
[So, there you have it. Haven’t heard from him again. Maybe it’s over? Maybe he’s crafting a really good response? Only time will tell. The heathen seminary strikes again!]
2.23.2008
Advertising
Around Fuller there are many bulletin boards. Students can put flyers on them to advertise for whatever they want. Here’s an interesting one I saw:
“Clean, quiet, male – wanted” [it was, apparently, for a roommate]
To which my classmates and I reply: “Helloooooo….join the club”
A good friend of mine, "Saturday", point out I should have put a sign up next to it that said: “if this ad works, tell me.”
…Maybe it IS just that easy ☺
“Clean, quiet, male – wanted” [it was, apparently, for a roommate]
To which my classmates and I reply: “Helloooooo….join the club”
A good friend of mine, "Saturday", point out I should have put a sign up next to it that said: “if this ad works, tell me.”
…Maybe it IS just that easy ☺
2.22.2008
Yeah...He's Totally Into Me
I have no doubt I have convinced you all that the loves of your life are totally into you despite the “signs” culture is telling you to beware of. Pish-Posh! But there are a few more signs the book talks about that my roommates and I wanted to be sure we helped you excuse. On to part two!
He’s just not that into you IF…
He doesn't want to marry you:
Well…one of the things I love most about him is the fact that he doesn’t want to conform to social norms. Besides, he is pretty old and set in his ways. It is hard when you’ve been selfish and living on your own for so long. And it would be hard for him to give up those bunk beds. He just really values MY independence and wants to save me from the pain of potential divorce – have you SEEN the divorce rates in our country. Better safe than sorry, right?
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's breaking up with you:
Well…he’s just confused. I’m moving and he just needs some time to think things through. He’s exploring his personal identity and just not ready for such a big (exciting!) commitment. He likes me TOO much that he is overwhelmed by it. I’m not worried…he’ll be back – she’s not that pretty.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's disappeared on you:
Well…maybe aliens abducted him, how am I supposed to know. And I don’t think he ever really told me what his job was, maybe he works for the government as a side job and he can't tell me. You know – “I could tell you where I am but then I’d have to kill you.” Or maybe he's in the hospital and didn't have any identifying information on him so they couldn’t call me. Besides, he sells jewelry at horse shows.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's married:
Well…she had to get her green card. Besides, they had to get married because he knocked her up at an early age – there was a lot of pressure. Their divorce papers are just being finalized. His wife is such a bitch…and I am pretty sure it only lasted this long cause of the kids.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's a selfish jerk, bully, or really big freak:
Well…he was an only child and comes from wealth. And he tells me lots of stories of how he was bullied as a child – I think the cycle is just continuing, or this is him finally getting his revenge. Besides, it is all just a matter of perception – I think he is just misunderstood. Most drummers I know are like that. Or as Brittany says, “That's not true – a lot of really big freaks have liked me – I'm a freak magnet"
He’s just not that into you IF…
He doesn't want to marry you:
Well…one of the things I love most about him is the fact that he doesn’t want to conform to social norms. Besides, he is pretty old and set in his ways. It is hard when you’ve been selfish and living on your own for so long. And it would be hard for him to give up those bunk beds. He just really values MY independence and wants to save me from the pain of potential divorce – have you SEEN the divorce rates in our country. Better safe than sorry, right?
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's breaking up with you:
Well…he’s just confused. I’m moving and he just needs some time to think things through. He’s exploring his personal identity and just not ready for such a big (exciting!) commitment. He likes me TOO much that he is overwhelmed by it. I’m not worried…he’ll be back – she’s not that pretty.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's disappeared on you:
Well…maybe aliens abducted him, how am I supposed to know. And I don’t think he ever really told me what his job was, maybe he works for the government as a side job and he can't tell me. You know – “I could tell you where I am but then I’d have to kill you.” Or maybe he's in the hospital and didn't have any identifying information on him so they couldn’t call me. Besides, he sells jewelry at horse shows.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's married:
Well…she had to get her green card. Besides, they had to get married because he knocked her up at an early age – there was a lot of pressure. Their divorce papers are just being finalized. His wife is such a bitch…and I am pretty sure it only lasted this long cause of the kids.
He’s just not that into you IF…
He's a selfish jerk, bully, or really big freak:
Well…he was an only child and comes from wealth. And he tells me lots of stories of how he was bullied as a child – I think the cycle is just continuing, or this is him finally getting his revenge. Besides, it is all just a matter of perception – I think he is just misunderstood. Most drummers I know are like that. Or as Brittany says, “That's not true – a lot of really big freaks have liked me – I'm a freak magnet"
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