My roommate Liz and I had an interesting conversation a while ago about stalking. [Now…we were not talking about the legal definition of stalking – just that boy that won’t stop calling or showing up everywhere you are…you know, the one that walks 22 blocks to buy the aviator sunglasses just because you have them]

Liz came to a stunning conclusion, and I concurred: there is a fine line. [helpful, I know]

It really all boils down to attraction. All is takes is your feelings for someone to determine whether they are creepy [stalkerish] or not in their actions toward you.

If you think a guy is cute and you are attracted to him + asking you out and appearing randomly outside all your class = not creepy or stalkerish and thoughtful.

If you don't like a guy and “have no desire to hold or be held by him” + showing up everywhere you are and getting your number when overhears someone giving it to someone else = creepy and leave-me-the-heck-alone.

This can apply to anything. Take dinner for example:
A guy you are attracted to: Oh my gosh, maybe he wants something more. WHAT a I going to wear??
A guy you are good friends with: Fun! I love hanging out. We’ve needed time to catch up.
A guy you find creepy: What’s a good excuse? What’s a good excuse? Run away now he’s coming!!

Ah the thin line of attraction…


Marieeee said...

or there is the man who started off a good friend and then made his way into stalking man. that becomes even more creepy because he has an 'in' on your life. yikes.

melia said...

not gonna lie...i just had flashbacks of a conversation we had in nepal about you and stalking...:)

B-W said...


One would assume that the "good friend" of your example is nonetheless a person that one is not actually attracted to, at least not in (cliché time!) "that way."

Lindsey said...

Would you consider driving by a guys' house repeatedly to "look at Christmas lights" to be stalking? I used to give that line to my brother and sister when we'd made a certain detour on our way home from school. It's funny how they stopped buying it when February rolled around...

andrew j. ulasich said...

I've been saying this for a while now. Even if it's just a smile from across the room - if she thinks you're attractive - great, no problem. If not, you're creepy.