1.07.2009

Big deal if I have no idea what you are saying

So, I asked you if you would date someone who did not speak the same language as you:
18% of you said Yes, what a great way to learn
25% of you said No
25% of you said If they spoke at least a little; and
31% of you said it depended on how attractive this person is…

I go back and forth about this question. On the one hand I think there is really no better way to learn a language than to date someone who speaks that language fluently – trying to communicate and have conversations with him or her is going to grow that skill of yours faster than it would have otherwise. On the other hand – if you didn’t really care about learning that language in the first place…well, then who cares? I guess you are just adding a difficult obstacle to your relationship.

I went out with a guy a couple of times who actually speaks very good English. It is his second language though and you can tell he is much more comfortable speaking Spanish. Whenever he would send me an email or text message they would be in either all Spanish or Spanglish. It just gets a little old having to go to my roommate every time I get a message from him saying, “what does this one say?”

And then if you are not speaking the same language you are undoubtedly from different cultures – which bring in all sorts of other complications. I am not saying cultures should not mix (please, I love plenty of other cultures as much and more than mine) I am just saying there is plenty to learn when interacting with another culture let alone dating it. This same gentleman I went out with a couple times ended up saying to me “you are very unique person. I have difficult time figuring you out. You make me so nervous I don’t know how to act or think or response around you.” Sarcasm just doesn’t translate well I guess.

So I guess I would go out with someone that doesn’t speak the same language as me – but I wouldn’t ever enter into a relationship with him. Cause as fun as making out is…communication is pretty important too. You?

7 comments:

Michi said...

I guess it would be fun for a couple dates, but in the long run...seems like a pain. How would you discuss what you had in common...Other than pointing and using makeshift sign language? :)

The Gigglepuss said...

I think in general, people should just make out more anyway...

Dating Without Pants said...

Unless the other person is impressed by my vast knowledge of other lanuages' swear words, this would probably not work. I'm in the "no" camp anyway, I need to establish some sort of connection.

Yeti said...

Swear words...haah. love it.

Milton said...

Hey! I just stumbled onto your page.
Very clever. Anyway, I dated this girl from Brazil. She knew little to no English and my Spanish skills weren't enough to get me by with her Portuguese. It was fun to hang out and figure out what we were saying but ultimately I needed someone who'd understand what I was saying. Shame... she was incredibly attractive.

Date Girl said...

I agree-I think dating someone who doesn't speak the language would be fun for a fling, but not for a full blown relationship. You have to be able to communicate.

Elise said...

i notice that in asia... western girls seem a bit more concerned about "fully communicating" with their significant other than western guys do... a lot of western men i know have married women with diff't languages...its quite weird too when two people who have two different native languages and they are having their whole relationship in english when its neither of their first language... hmm...