ONE YEAR!

Hello loyal blog readers,

One year ago today I started imposing my stories, opinions and beliefs upon you. Thanks for sticking around, reading and even commenting back. I hope you have found the stories entertaining, the opinions challenging and the beliefs thought-provoking.

In short...I hope you can say this about my blog:

Making an effort with the barista

So I ditch the dreads for the espresso...this much we know [this is no hard choice, I am a coffee addict]. The barista put fourth a certain amount of effort in engaging me in witty banter and extending an invitation to a screening he was having the very next day. I decided the ball was in my court to show my interest and put fourth some effort.

I had given him my information so he emailed me with the details regarding the screening. I conned my good friend Robin into being my wingman for the night (bless you Robin, I still owe you for this one!).

We headed to North Hollywood for a screening of what looked to be a very....interesting(?) short. Little did we know what we were in for.

Let me start by sharing with you one of the films we had to sit through that evening. Two words for you, my loyal readers, "Orange Peel". I don't think I could ever do justice to describing this film to you. Or as Robin put it "it's hard to put into words the painful mix of awkwardness and trying to hold our shit together so we didn't offend all of those hardwork artist-types." But let me see if I can just run off a few of the emotions I was experiencing/thinking while watching it: awkward, uncomfortable, confused, offended, frustrated, weird, what the hell, can I leave?, nervous laughter, this is in no way helping people in this situation...

I am not willing to actually put the video up here - I don't believe I can find it in its entirety online anyway. But you can find snipets of it at the above link or here. But, really, think twice before watching.

No words.

And the worst part of this whole situation Robin and I found ourselves in was that the writer/director/producer/illustrator/EVERYTHING for this short was sitting directly behind us as it screened. We had to keep ourselves completely contained. Which was IMPOSSIBLE.

I am happy to report that Espresso's short was far and beyond the BEST one there. After the screening I felt awkward talking to him becuase of what I had been forced to watch, but then found solace in being able to say "Thank God your short was not "Orange Peel," I would never have been able to speak to you again!"

Point of the story: Make sure you know what other films are screening with yours at an event before you invite a girl your interested in to attend.

**Disclaimer: I have a great respect for the time, talent and dedication it takes to make short films. Although I realize I am being completely harsh of this film, I truly mean no disrespect. I am simply using what little critical judgement I possess to share my opinion. I believe there may be some who can understand it in a way I am uncapable of - and to them I hope it brought great fulfillment. But...the filmmakers I know - kicked the asses of every film there that night.

The worst of excuses

This is what I want to know...what is the worst excuse you've gotten from a guy/girl when turning you down for a date?

Here are a few I have gotten, or heard [obviously not ALL of these happened to me]:
1. Sorry, I have to work late tonight
2. My work schedule for the next couple months is just real hectic
3. I don't think I can make it all the way out to Pasadena.
4. I have to pack all day for this weekend trip I'm going on.
5. I'm expecting an important phone call

And the thing is, I don't know who to blame more...the person who keeps TRYING for a date after these lame excuses or the person who can't just say "no thanks, I'm not interested." Please people, we would not be as excited for movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" if we knew how to be a little more honest.

A gift for getting rid of them

So, I got some mixed reviews from my "date I got on a date." One comment I got (*cough* DWP *cough*) was that this guy must not have been into it and it must have been a really bad date. Well, loyal readers, let me set you straight. Just because I have a gift for getting rid of them doesn't mean they pick up on the signals indicating the horridness of the date...

The following is the message I received that evening when I got home:

Yeti,
It was good to meet you and I enjoyed learning about your passions and interests. I had wanted to see if you would like to meet up again sometime when we left, but your beauty got me all tongue tied and I wasn't able to say what I had wanted to say.
I hope you had fun going all the places you were going in Hollywood. It would be fun to see you again and I hope you have a joyous week.
Peace
Dreads

See? I just have a gift. Maybe boys also need to learn a little more about picking up on signals. 

**More to come on what happened with the barista**

And that's how the fight got started

This is another hilarious forward passed on by Dodi...

-------------------
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's how the fight got started...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security
Office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'
And that's how the fight got started...


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight got started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight got started...


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
The waiter said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight got started...


A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight got started...

Who knew mailing something could be so difficult?

How i got a date on a date

I had an eHarmony date with a guy I was [to be brutally honest] not interested in at all. I don’t really know why I agreed to go on the date. I was not looking forward to it much but I decided to go anyway. I am glad I did.

We planned to meet up in Hollywood because it was half way between the two of us. I suggested a coffee shop that I frequently go to.

I arrived there a bit early just to grab a table. When I arrived the cute barista I hadn’t seen in several months was working. We chopped it up again like old times. He ended up giving me my drink for free. And I told him I was there for a “meeting.”

When my date arrived I knew at once it was a mistake to meet up with him – we were not going to be a connection. We had coffee for about an hour and then I had another meeting to get to [this time it was actually a meeting] but as I got ready to leave I told him I had to go to the restroom in hopes that he would leave and I could talk to cute barista boy again before leaving.

It worked.

We chopped it up a bit more and ended up exchanging information. And that’s how eHarmony KIND of worked for me even though I didn’t actually end up dating any of the matches THEY gave me.

The facebook of genesis

Thank you, Rachael, for passing this along. It has been around for a while, but you'll get a good laugh if you have not seen it.

The Facebook of Genesis

Here is a clip of it:

Yes we can

Today is a historic day. I am filled with joy and hope.

Join a facebook group

I know a lot of you are on facebook (come now, who isn't these days? *cough* douglas *cough*) so I wanted to let you know about a few groups that you could join. I know most of these groups are right up my alley, I might just join them ALL so I can jump into the discussions.

For instance, I did NOT know Christian guys are hotter, but I would like to learn more...








Or how about praying for your future beloved? OK, I can't mock this one or I will feel bad about myself.









I think we ALL want to salute women dating and/or married to Star Wars Fans. This might even expand to Lord of the Rings...or men who are willing to date women obsessed with Twilight.








But, seriously, I AM going to join this group. Need I remind you how I feel about cowboys?






But the best group of all is the one for the HAPPY couples that get to brag about how great each other are and how content they are in life because they have been completed...

Sis??

OK, I have been told that this belief is just me and that I am being melodramatic – but I am going to share it anyway…

I am not a fan of the word “sis” or “sister” when being referred to. I don’t care if you are a Christian, really friendly, harmless or think you are too old for me – DON’T call me “sis” unless you are COMPLETELY sure there is no way you would ever want to pursue something romantically with me. Because that word is a big red flag that you have no interest in me AT ALL and never will. Sister? Really? It is kind of like a subtle way of letting me know that the thought of being with me is kind of comparable to incest for you.

I’ll admit, I am a bit overreacting – but I really don’t like that word and if a guy calls me “sister” I pretty much write him off and assume he is not interested in me at all. Because if nothing else, I think he is too evangelical for me.

Anyone else? Just me?

Found the dress

This one is for you, Dodi.

You've provided me with so many funny things for my blog this past year, I thought I should do a little something to show my gratitude. I think someone told me you've already found your wedding dress...but you MIGHT want to reconsider after this post.

Boys with girlfriends part II

OK, I know that yesterday’s video was kind of a joke, but in all seriousness – kind of the story of my life.

What is it with girls? Why do we hang around unavailable men? I think there is some part of our brain that thinks if we feel such a romantic or intimate connection with them then EVENTUALLY they will have to come around and see why we would be better for them than their girlfriend. And so we torture ourselves – and we wait around – and we allow ourselves to be lead on by the promise of nothing.

Then on the other hand there are those guys that are so easy to connect with on such a deep level yet we are not attracted to them romantically. How do you explain that one? Maybe we should just convince ourselves to go for it – we seem so perfect for each other in every other way.

But seriously, I think Meiko is right, I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends.

Boys with girlfriends

You've heard women say "always a bridesmaid never a bride" well...I'm the "always the best friend never the girlfriend" type of girl.

Thanks, Meiko for writing a song about the best friends...we know better

Made for cooking

Quit bragging

Here is a great pickup line from my sister:

I was in line at the school dining center with a friend of mine at lunch time one day. As we were approaching the luscious buffet ahead of us I said to her, "Everything looks so good in here."

The guy working behind the counter replied, "Quit bragging about yourself."

Me: "What?"

Him: "I said quit bragging about yourself."

Me: "uh....okay?" *blush*

Him: *wink*

Big deal if I have no idea what you are saying

So, I asked you if you would date someone who did not speak the same language as you:
18% of you said Yes, what a great way to learn
25% of you said No
25% of you said If they spoke at least a little; and
31% of you said it depended on how attractive this person is…

I go back and forth about this question. On the one hand I think there is really no better way to learn a language than to date someone who speaks that language fluently – trying to communicate and have conversations with him or her is going to grow that skill of yours faster than it would have otherwise. On the other hand – if you didn’t really care about learning that language in the first place…well, then who cares? I guess you are just adding a difficult obstacle to your relationship.

I went out with a guy a couple of times who actually speaks very good English. It is his second language though and you can tell he is much more comfortable speaking Spanish. Whenever he would send me an email or text message they would be in either all Spanish or Spanglish. It just gets a little old having to go to my roommate every time I get a message from him saying, “what does this one say?”

And then if you are not speaking the same language you are undoubtedly from different cultures – which bring in all sorts of other complications. I am not saying cultures should not mix (please, I love plenty of other cultures as much and more than mine) I am just saying there is plenty to learn when interacting with another culture let alone dating it. This same gentleman I went out with a couple times ended up saying to me “you are very unique person. I have difficult time figuring you out. You make me so nervous I don’t know how to act or think or response around you.” Sarcasm just doesn’t translate well I guess.

So I guess I would go out with someone that doesn’t speak the same language as me – but I wouldn’t ever enter into a relationship with him. Cause as fun as making out is…communication is pretty important too. You?

Keyword Search

I thought I would share with you all a bit of the enjoyment I have been having. It is true, I have a statcounter on my blog. Some people think this is freaky - I simply think it feeds my narcissistic nature and gives me some interesting statistics to read.

For example, here are a list of some of the recent "keywords" people have put into google and ended up hitting my blog:

Eharmony church
Noncommittal makeout
Yeti dragon
Bunk beds
Why don’t I have a boyfriend (x8097230 - this means a lot of people search this)
I love you first
Neckline chest hair
Quotes on wedgies
Don’t be creepy
Didn’t say I love you back
John Abraham vs. wentworth miller
Poem about being a young life leader
PDA in church
Huge boobs
Stories about older brothers friend dating little sister
Why the yeti is real
Unattainable crush
Nibble his earlobe for hours and hours
Walking wedgies
Choose to permanently close communication
Ambigudating
Are you still mad at me letters?
Best facebook messages to say I love you
Birthday wedgies attack girls
Bold moves to ask a guy out
Get guys to hug you
Girls say I’m creepy
Goalie rule dating score girlfriend.
How to hug a girl legit
Maybe someday we can be friends.
What does it mean when your guy doesn’t say I love you
Ideas for sexual favors
Should you date someone who has cheated in the past?
Toes & e-cards
Chest hair and v-neck
Why men withdraw
Pick up lines for doctor’s office.
Should men use hair gel

The art of meeting men

This is just GOLDEN advice...all over the place. I can't even point to any one line in particular!



Thank you, Griz, for passing this along.

The mustache is back (I'M KIDDING!)

Hey guys, here is a helpful add for when you just want to mix things up a bit. All you have to do is check the color you want and then send in a sample of your own hair...only $6!! What a deal.

Happy New Year

Bring it in with style...