The negatives

I was once talking to my father about how my evangelical upbringing ruined dating for me. I feel guilty and manipulative if I date someone I am not certain I want to marry someday. But the only reason I am uncertain is because of all the negatives I pick at. Why do the negatives always stand out so much more than the positives?

My father proceeded to tell me to take a blank sheet of paper and make a list of all of the weaknesses the boy had. Then on the other side of the paper I was to make a list of all the weaknesses I would RATHER him have.

This was actually quite a helpful exercise. Because there are no other weakness you would rather them have – and no one is going to be perfect. Maybe I have it pretty good if the only weakness is telling dumb jokes and liking different music than I do (OF COURSE there are more…but I am not going to share those with YOU).

And don’t try and make a list about yourself – because you’ll just get overwhelmed with where you fall short and add “crazy” to your significant other’s list because you can’t understand why they decided to date you!

Time and Money

have i ever told you all how much i hate dating? seriously. i often dream about just waking up married one day. dating is torture. it is awkward, takes a lot of time and is often stressful (maybe i have not been dating the most amazing men ever....)

anyway, a friend of mine sent me this article that says the average woman dates 24 men before she finds the right one...and also spends around $3000!! this article stresses me out because i am pretty sure i am on number 3 or something so i have forever to go....

In the study, 7 percent of women surveyed went on 41 to 60 dates before finding someone to share their life with.
And 1 percent of women said they had been on 61 to 80 dates before finding someone suitable.
The research also revealed that despite the amount spent on each date, a third of women have left halfway through after realizing they had met "Mr. Wrong."
One in four women will meet a man just once before deciding whether or not he is "the one," according to the research.
Thirty-five percent will give a man two dates, and 16 percent make their decision after three dates.

check out the full article HERE.

Reader Question

Here is the reader question of the day:

What happens when you go out with a guy (or girl) who is really great, but a terrible kisser... do you decide to try to teach him how to be a good kisser or do you just not go out with him again??

Die Roadrunner

Beware what you text

THIS JUST IN....news alert!! The BBC has come out with a report on how dangerous it is to send "sexy texts" - and you thought you had it difficult. Read the news story below:

Dubai jails Indian pair for 'sexy texts'

Steamy text messages have resulted in a three-month jail sentence for a Indian man and an Indian woman in Dubai.

Judges ruled that they had planned to "commit sin", a reference to an extramarital affair - which is illegal in the United Arab Emirates.

The unnamed pair, aged 47 and 42, were working as cabin crew for Dubai's Emirates airline.

Their "sexy texts" first surfaced last year, in a divorce lawsuit by the woman's estranged husband.

Crimes of passion

The Indian pair were originally sentenced to six months in jail, followed by deportation.

But an appeals court reduced the term and gave them the option to remain in the country.

The court said there was not enough evidence to determine whether the man and the woman had actually had an affair, which could have brought a harsher sentence.

This is the latest in a series of cases where foreigners have been found to have broken Dubai's conservative laws.

Earlier this week, a British couple said they would appeal a one-month jail sentence for exchanging a passionate kiss in a restaurant.

In 2008, two Britons were sentenced to three months in jail for what authorities described as sex on the beach. The sentences were later suspended.

E-U-C...crap

errands

continuing the case for a husband. and i guess since we went back to ground zero I have to start over at one again so...here we go:

#1: someone to run out and get you more medicine and lunch when you're not feeling well.

Dignity please, isle 4

I got this email, a while ago. and it STILL makes no sense to me. but it makes me sad because i think a lot of girls are like this. please women, have some self-respect. if you read this and relate to it, something in your life needs to change.
-------------------

MY secret is I love #### and I believe we should be together. Which may have been obvious, as I'm sure as much as I try not to get all "sparkle-eyed" around him, I SO DO. He is a nice guy, does like me quite a bit and doesn't mind hanging out with me...but on the other hand he makes NO secret of the fact that he thinks I am completely unsuitable for him, does not like many things about me, and will NEVER introduce me to his family. I appreciate honesty as much as the next girl but...OUCH.
Now I'm a strong girl and also quite awesome and I deserve someone who thinks better of me than THAT, so breaking up with him seemed the right choice. And I DID...until I saw him again, on which occasion I forgave him everything. Because duh, I LOVE HIM. But also, duh, HIS OPINIONS OF ME ARE THE SAME. Now I don't want to be miserable, nor have him dump me when he finds a 'real girlfriend', so I have GOT to be stronger, break up as friends, and not go to him no matter how much I want to!
I hate the thought that I won't be with him, but don't tell him that. He and I talk often because, really, we are awesome together and I love to encourage and support him. I would say he is definitely my friend and though right now I have no interest in being with anyone else, maybe in time I can move on and then he and I can see each other as just friends.

Fantasy League

HOW did the Yeti not win in the fantasy league?!?!

if i had a nickel for every time i went out with a guy in the mafia

i can't decide which is worse - when a guy doesn't call or when he makes up lavish stories about why he can never see you again. i think i like the stories - helps me know he's put some effort into getting rid of me.
this phenomenal story was submitted to me by an anonymous yeti reader. please read and share in her pain.
---------------

i went out with this guy who i knew "a bit". seemed very nice, very normal, polite.. etc... a bit young, but hey. prior to "going out", we text at least a few times a day. everything on the date goes fine, no problems, but the two days after our texts come to a complete stop. okay, not "our" texts, because i still continued to text him as per our normal banter until i realized he wasn't responding. after three days of absolute silence a two-way text conversation finally starts:

A- hey sorry, my phone has been off.

E- oh really? the boy who is in love with his blackberry?? heehe. suuuuure... :P

A- no, really... i've been in a bit of a mess.

E- what kind of mess?

A- well, some deep shit.... mafia shit... so i turn my phone off most of the time...

E- hm... what did you do?

A- nothing.... it's just a misunderstanding... but yeah. i call you in a few days.

E-okay.

mafia shit might just be amongst the best excuses ever for being blown off...

back to ground zero

In response to my case for a husband:

Fish: http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Reach-Lotion-Applicator-A13058/dp/B000300VS8

Yeti: Wow! that's awesome.

Fish: its only $10. and you don’t have to marry anyone

Yeti: that is a really valid rebuttal. i might have to retract #1 already

And...back to ground zero.

the case for a husband

i will slowly be building the case for a husband (or partner)...one argument at a time. i don't want to overwhelm myself.

#1. someone to put lotion on your back.

when is a message TOO creepy

The following is a message a friend of mine got from a guy on OK Cupid. Did I mention it was the FIRST message she got from this guy. So...some guy just saw her profile...and then decided to write THIS. I really don't understand.

-------------
when is it too deep...when ur caring for someone...lets say that person is a 3 yr old patient and ur a nurse or doctor....rite off the bat....our society mades mds more a loof....and rn more compassionate....why is just the system and the work load....

I know sometimes there are times within seconds that two spirts of individuals connect.....it could be in a life and death situation....

but sometimes you may watch an individual for a while or at least I have watched that individual to decied which side I will put them in.....the good pile or the bad pile.....either way who am i?????well I am not certainly god....

but i do think there is use for this judgemental behavior....example....let say your in a titanic situation...but you have a choice to get on a boat with 5 kind people and 2 mean ppl....verses 2 kind ppl and 5 mean ppl....who... u dont know but have been observing for a week while on the cruz....which boat would u pick....

anyways....have a safe trip.....hi....bye...

monday afternoon conversation

these are the important gchat conversation i have.

Yeti: we should only work half days

Specca: totally agree.

and people shouldn't be so annoying to work with at times so that it is easier

Yeti: totally agree

and we should get naps in the middle of the day

Specca: mmm-hmmm

making it really only a quarter of a day working

Yeti: and food should come out of the wall automatically when i push a button and say: "prime rib please"

Specca: and "margarita on the rocks please…no salt"

wrong number

so, i may have hit a new low. not really sure (or ready to admit it).

there is a cute boy that i went to college with who has recently moved closer to me. we connected on facebook briefly (I LOVE FACEBOOK!) and i sent him a message letting him know what city i lived in and that we should get together sometime...proceeding to leave my phone number.

this boy and i were never really close in college, and i have not talked to him in about 5 years, so for all i know he could be a freak...but apparently i was really hoping he would call becaaaaaause....

wednesday i get a call from a number that i don't recognize but it is the area code of his hometown (INTERSTING!) i can't answer because i am at work and i wouldn't anyway.

so i wait for a voicemail to come through.

nothing.

Grrrrrrrrr.

this is the point i realized that i wanted it to be him: i proceeded to send the phone number to my friend jennifer asking her to call it pretending she got a wrong number or thought it was a deli or something so we could see who it belonged to.

wanna know who it was? TARGET PHARMACY!!

worst letdown ever. but jennifer had a good laugh.

#Firstdaterules

Apparently first date rules are a hot topic on twitter right now. Just so you aren't all out of the loop I've copied a few here for you (in text and pictures)...don't be making the same mistakes these foolish people have!






















"Don't chill with me one night and my friend the next...YES!"
"Don't have stanky breath"
"you better bring bacc-up money cuz if you wacc, ah nucca definitely not payin' 4 you"
"Wutever you do,don't fart... Save it for the 2nd date. Or at least wen she's not looking."























"dont put on 50 pounds of make up"
"please dont bring your homies with you & then ask me do u have any friends like this is Match.com"
"please come prepared financially don't come on a date with $5 expecting me 2 pay 4 the tab lol the guys pays 4 the 1st date."
"clear your last calls or recent call incase she ask to use your phone"






















"please don't touch my food... I don't know you well enough."
"don't tell me about your family problems "
"dnt tryna ask me y I been single so long."
"Make Sure u Shower & Shave cuz No Way am I hanging Out w a Hairy ass Musty Man!"

Sweden wants to give you some advice

Sweden knows how to do PSA's. Someone I know found this while looking for something else on YouTube...trust me, a harmless search...nevertheless, a priceless find. And so I pass this little piece of wisdom you should already know on to you.

[Also, warning, not suitable for work...probably...most places a human being would work]

THIS is why i still go to church

compliment/random comment of the day. after the church service sunday the lady behind me taps me on the shoulder and says:

"excuse me, but your hair looks like a pantene pro-v commercial. i mean, it's so shiny. i looked around at other girls in here and none of them look like yours."

















i don't even USE pantene pro-v. and i hadn't even washed my hair that day, imagine if i had!! actually, best i hadn't - i would have totally distracted her from the LORD.

your man doesn't smell like THIS guy

how is old spice advertising so ridiculously hilarious. and right. i need a man that doesn't smell like a woman, i think that's been my problem all along...

The case for an older woman

Fascinating article from OK Cupid encouraging men on dating sites to consider going for older women. I mean, I agree...women only get better as we get older. We're like a fine wine. Men on the other hand...I don't know - moldy cheese? I digress.

And while we are on the topic, an 18 or 19 year old shouldn't even be allowed on a dating site...that's just ridiculous. GO TO YOUR PROM!

Nevertheless, read and decide for yourself.

Thanks [F]oxymoron, for pointing this article out.