just play it COOL

‪The beginning of relationships are so fun and confusing and frustrating and exciting and terrifying and annoying and more words that I can’t think of right now.

You know when you get to that point where you are both timidly sure that you like each other but you’re still trying to “play it cool”? What does that even mean? Why do we do that? You just end up feeling like you’re playing mind games. [If I wait 6 more hours to text him back, he’ll think I was really busy and that he wasn’t on my mind and that I don’t really care about him that much and it’s not big deal and I don’t really need him and I’m not that clingy and I don’t over think things and I’m really easy-going]

I, personally, don’t know how to play it cool and be calm. I just don’t.

Part of that, I think, is projected on me by a relationship that ended badly and abruptly by a guy that completely freaked out when I simply said “I’m willing to give this a shot” – I am not quite sure if he heard me say “I want to marry you and have lots of babies”? But at any rate – he ended things and never called me again. A mutual friend of ours told me that I apparently "let my cards show" too soon and I needed to have more mystery.

???

But I seriously don't know how to do that. If I like someone, I like them. And I want to hang out with them and talk to them. So I don't understand why it is bad if I call or text them. Isn’t it mystery enough if I’ll be wearing sweat pants or actually put on a respectable outfit the next time they see me? What about if the next meal I cook them will be edible? What about how freaky my friends are going to be (*cough* SDGT *cough*) – there are plenty of other mysteries. We don’t need to go around giving people unnecessary ulcers about whether we’re interested in them or not.