12.21.2010

just play it COOL

‪The beginning of relationships are so fun and confusing and frustrating and exciting and terrifying and annoying and more words that I can’t think of right now.

You know when you get to that point where you are both timidly sure that you like each other but you’re still trying to “play it cool”? What does that even mean? Why do we do that? You just end up feeling like you’re playing mind games. [If I wait 6 more hours to text him back, he’ll think I was really busy and that he wasn’t on my mind and that I don’t really care about him that much and it’s not big deal and I don’t really need him and I’m not that clingy and I don’t over think things and I’m really easy-going]

I, personally, don’t know how to play it cool and be calm. I just don’t.

Part of that, I think, is projected on me by a relationship that ended badly and abruptly by a guy that completely freaked out when I simply said “I’m willing to give this a shot” – I am not quite sure if he heard me say “I want to marry you and have lots of babies”? But at any rate – he ended things and never called me again. A mutual friend of ours told me that I apparently "let my cards show" too soon and I needed to have more mystery.

???

But I seriously don't know how to do that. If I like someone, I like them. And I want to hang out with them and talk to them. So I don't understand why it is bad if I call or text them. Isn’t it mystery enough if I’ll be wearing sweat pants or actually put on a respectable outfit the next time they see me? What about if the next meal I cook them will be edible? What about how freaky my friends are going to be (*cough* SDGT *cough*) – there are plenty of other mysteries. We don’t need to go around giving people unnecessary ulcers about whether we’re interested in them or not.

4 comments:

Eric Jessen said...

Here, here! Whole hearted agreement from this corner of the male population. :)

John said...

Just be you, which should be good enough. If they can't appreciate the mystery of you, then, well, tough noogies on them....they miss out.
don't be tamed!

Grete said...

Amen and praise baby Jesus.

Who needs a coward, anyway?

Jenuine said...

I appreciate the men who've chimed in here with the "just be you & honest" comments; thanks guys!

And thanks Yeti for writing this. I am a veritable PARFAIT of mysterious layers so just 'cause I let a guy know I'm kinda keen on him is not even *close* to showing all my cards!