1.27.2010

The Master Cleanse

It is true, I decided to try The Master Cleanse. I have heard so much about it, I thought it would be good for me to get out all the crap I knew had been building up in my system these last 20-something years. Wanna hear how it went?

Day 0: Ran out of time so I didn't make it to the store in time to grab all the supplies I needed to make that "tasty" lemonade.

Day 1: Didn't really realize it was going to be day 1, I just happened to have a little extra time in the morning and my roommates hadn't brewed any coffee so

7:30am: I decided to run to the store to pick up some lemons and maple syrup.

7:45am: Make lemonade [-ish] drink. I make a whole pitcher cause I am really bad with the ounce measurement and way overshot how much I needed to make. "That's okay" I tell myself "even though they say not to make it ahead of time, I am sure it won't kill me."

9:00am: I hate myself.

10:30am: co-worker offers to get me some coffee, like an out of body experience I hear myself saying no even though all I want to do is say YES, PLEASE, ALL OF THE COFFEE IN THE SHOP, BRING IT TO ME! I did get a mint tea. I think that's allowed.

12:00pm: surprisingly, my appetite has subsided for a bit. Although I choke every time I take a sip of that cayenne pepper drink [that's what it should be renamed], I keep drinking because I figure if my stomach feels something hit it it might not hate me.

2:00pm: I have a serious headache and all I want to do is lay down and go to sleep forever. I eat some trail mix [was that not in the directions?]

6:00pm: get home from class, want to die, eat some toast, go to bed at 7:00p.

Day 2: Well, I couldn't even make it ONE DAY so how about I just throw all of this stupid "lemonade" out and eat food like a normal person??

Done and done.

4 comments:

Mav said...

i <3 Yeti :)

JD said...

Ugh. Those diets are so bad for your metabolism. Although looks like you were doing it for detox purposes, so your motivation is better. I had a friend who detoxed on green tea for a couple weeks (you gradually introduce food back into your diet) and she had really really bad stomach problems. This was hilarious, though!

Dave and Betsy's Blog said...

So, it's done?? Good...that sounded sucky.

Bets

Griselda Johnson said...

Good for you!!!