Here is a delicious submission from one of my readers....take, eat, and enjoy:
Let me set the scene: I was in my new favorite Starbucks (it is now my favorite because of my people experiences here. I was actually shushed here not that long before this incident). A normal young man placed his order and was waiting at the end of the bar. As I was placing my order (extra hot white mocha, no whip) this guy (he is known up here in my circles as the Starbucks Chauch (SC)- a chauch is a guy who thinks he is still a frat boy even though he is no longer in college. This particular one I am sure was in his mid to late 30s) comes in and gets in line behind me. So I give the Till-girl my order and go and wait. So I am waiting for my drink and SC begins to totally flirt with Till-girl. Ew.
So then he comes to wait for his drink. Mine gets called. "Extra hot white mocha, no whip. Sweet for me, bad news for coffee girl. So, I reach for my drink, and as I was reaching, SC says " Excuse me. . . " I thought he was talking to me, so I am holding my drink, my arm on the counter. . . But he wasn't talking to me, he was talking to Coffee-Barista-girl, who by the way looked really awkward. Then he says "Excuse me, you said extra hot, I thought you were talking to me."
I am still holding my drink looking at him, and I could feel all the thoughts I had at that moment form words that became etched onto my face. I looked at poor Coffee-Barista-girl and she was so uncomfortable and had no idea what to say. Unfortunately SC was so caught up in his own wit that I don't think he saw my face. I am sure if he wasn't so consumed with himself, he would have heard what the Coffee-Barista-girl would have wanted to say - through the look on my face. I think he left thinking he was so charming, so witty, so, so, so , so whatever. . .
I wondered if he was just trying to be funny, but the funny thing is. . . I think he was dead serious about himself.
He didn't even really have a cool car - I think he had one of those old sunfires. For crying out loud if you are going to embrace the fullness of chauch-hood and make a comment like he did, one should at least drive a car (or borrow one) that is as pretentious as you are. Sunfires are the kind of car a parent buys a thier 16 yr old. They are cheap and easy to care for, relatively cost effective. I hope he said thank you when his parents handed him the keys.
And this is one of the reasons why I choose to frequent this Starbucks.