someone to put suntan lotion on your back so you don't burn in strange ways.
someone to scratch your back so you don't dislocate your shoulder.
someone to ride in the car with you so you can take the carpool lane.
someone to blame when you don't want to go out "oh, shoot! i really want to but HE wants to stay in tonight, sorry!"
someone to start brewing the coffee before you get out of bed.
someone to kill the spiders.
someone to take out the trash.
someone to screen your calls.
...i might actually need an assistant not a husband.