9.02.2011

The Case for a Husband #3

someone to put suntan lotion on your back so you don't burn in strange ways.

someone to scratch your back so you don't dislocate your shoulder.

someone to ride in the car with you so you can take the carpool lane.

someone to blame when you don't want to go out "oh, shoot! i really want to but HE wants to stay in tonight, sorry!"

someone to start brewing the coffee before you get out of bed.

someone to kill the spiders.

someone to take out the trash.

someone to screen your calls.

...i might actually need an assistant not a husband.

9.01.2011

Learning to ask for phone numbers


Setting the scene:
A neighborhood Starbucks.
Corner table.
A beautiful girl with deliciously long golden brown hair sits reading.
An attractive man strikes up a conversation with her as he grabs a seat at the table next to hers.
After a few minutes she asks him to watch her stuff while she goes to the bathroom.
Boy waits an entire 43 seconds before grabbing her cell phone.
When she gets back she discovers that he has called his phone from hers in order to get her number…and she caught him!

This is why we lock our phones people.

Also…he probably could have just asked!!...he was hot.

**This story is, unfortunately, not about me. It’s been a long time since my phone was stolen. I need to leave it lying around more often. In fact, the last time I felt it sitting on a table when I went to the bathroom a MARRIED guy took it and tried to steal my number out of it – completely innocent I am sure…but still creepy.