8.25.2010

How to Prevent Sexual Assault

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how "into it" others appear to be.

--Author Unknown.

4 comments:

keep it bohemian said...

Brilliant brilliant brilliant.

Anonymous said...

is it wrong that i want to steal this, post a fb note, and tag the douchebag that assaulted me in it?

Yeti said...

anonymous....no, it is not. in fact, i think you should! (well, maybe not tag them, but at least put it up there!)

Anonymous said...

well then...maybe i will post it. since i now have permission of the (in)famous yeti. ;) i don't think i could tag him anyway. we are NOT friends (despite the fact he had the balls to request me...what is WRONG with men?!)