Sometimes it is best not to follow my example

Confession: I am not a nice person.

I talk a big game. But when push comes to shove – I have a hard time always putting my money where my mouth is.

I tell all of you that you should speak your mind, not do something you don’t want to do, just shoot straight, tell it like it is, blah blah blah. Apparently I freeze in the moment.

Allow me to share with you one of my worst moments so you can say mean things about me and make this boy feel better about himself.

There is a wonderful man that was beginning to show interest in me. We got off to a rocky start. I had offended him deeply in some way – I can’t remember HOW at this moment, but I remember he was mad and we had to go out to a 24-hour diner for greasy food to talk it out.

Everything seemed fine for us after that bitch session. He began calling me a bit more, emailing me, texting me…at first I didn’t see anything in it (other than I am still trying to rebuild this bridge between us) but then I began to wonder.

I came to a point where I decided that I had to say something along the lines of “I don’t think you are the future father of my children, just an FYI” only in a nicer way…just in case.

He asked me if I wanted to grab lunch one day and I decided that would be the PERFECT opportunity. Well, actually I didn’t know if that was right or wrong. Can you tell someone you are not interested in them when they have just asked you out? Nevertheless, I didn’t see any other options in the near future and I didn’t want to send it in a text so I had to jump on the opportunity. I decided that I would try and make it as un-date-like as I could:

I would pay
I would try to spill on myself
I would tell stupid jokes
I would talk about my mother…(KIDDING MOM!)

Only…none of that worked. There is only SO MUCH insisting on paying you can do until you just emasculate the guy. He paid. And then he kept the (pleasant) conversation going so I never got to my ONE agenda item during lunch. I decided I had to do it on the walk back to the office.

But then he got an emergency call. Perfect.

So now I just went on a date with him when I was trying to let him know I was not interested in going on a date with him.

But the really bad part comes next:

He calls me up a few days later to ask me out. He catches me off guard (although I can’t claim that COMPLETELY because of the entire story I just told you). I think the off guard part came from the fact that he called me on my work line…really?

Anyway, I believe our conversation went something like this.

Poor Guy: So, I know from reading your blog that you like it when guys are direct. So I would like to know if you would go on a date with me?
Yeti: Um….uh…..uh…[trying to leave her open space desk and run for an office with a door] uh….um….sure? I guess….we could….give that a try?
Poor Guy: Great! I was thinking we could go to this really cool concert venue in downtown. There are several concerts that look good to me so how about I send you the schedule for the [gives dates for one month from now] and you pick one that sounds good to you.
Yeti: um….okay?

I immediately leave the office I found and walk over to one of my co-workers (who is wise, and kind, and like a brother to me). I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SAID YES WHEN I REALLY WANTED TO SAY NO! I proclaim to him.

CoWorker: You have to call him back and say no. Right now.
Yeti: I can’t do THAT!!
[boring and redundant argument goes on longer…co-worker wins]

THIS is the part, my friends, I am not proud of. 20 minutes after I accept the date with this poor guy I call him back.

*ring* *ring* {VOICEMAIL}
That’s right…I left a voicemail…I didn’t have time to morally debate if that was okay. His message was really short!

“Hey, Poor Guy, it’s Yeti. Listen, I thought about it some more and I wanted to say thank you so much for your invitation but my answer is no.”

That’s it. That’s the message he had to listen to (and then hopefully immediately DELETED).

You can’t break off a date on a VOICEMAIL!! What was I thinking?

I am sorry, poor guy. If you still read my blog, I hope people give you some sympathetic loving comment support on here. I am a mean person.