i hate muscles

Girls do the funniest things.

For example, SOME girl I know, likes this new boy. So what does she do? Starts exercising again. You know, so she can be in good shape for all these hikes he talks about wanting to go on.

One problem, this plan has sort of backfired. You see, I (I mean, SHE) can't walk - and my arms don't work anymore. So, not only am I probably not anymore physically fit than I was one week ago, I now look like a grandma when I walk, I can't lift anything heavier than a sheet of paper and when he asks me why I am limping I'm going to have to come up with some excuse like--cold weather makes my hip hurt! Guys like girls that age prematurely, right?? You know, the ones that grunt with excruciating effort when they try to lift their arms to greet them with a hug?

He's one lucky guy....

Drummers

It's time I confess something to you all...I have a disease. And it's called drummers. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me - I've looked into it. And I don't think there's a cure. But every guy I fall for is a freaking DRUMMER. And most of the time I don't even know it beforehand, after casually talking for a while he'll be like "oh, yeah, did I mention I'm a drummer?" It's not even funny anymore. And franky, some of them aren't even very good at it - but ALL OF THEM WILL BE DRUMMERS. My subconscious will know if a boy has a sense of rhythm and likes to hit things (not, like, people....you know what I mean)

I think it started in High School. The first boy I really liked, left me (didn't really LEAVE me...but he moved away) to go be a drummer in a band. Maybe that's what started it all. From then on all drummers became the unattainable - the inconsistent unreachable. I'm more of a chaser than a commit-er. And drummers are good to chase. Plus they make really great faces when they play - and I like laughing.

Tattoos

TO THIS DAY...I cannot walk into my tattoo parlor without getting extremely nervous, butterflies in my stomach, nauseous. I don't get it. I got my first tattoo four years ago and have since accumulated a total of three. I am by no means a self-canvas...but I shouldn't be afraid of the place when I know the guys in there fairly well and they recognize me when I walk in.

But I just feel so out of place still. I think I always will unless I can someday bring myself to get something a bit larger....or with color....or a picture.

Alas, that is today's confession.

Oh...and I got another tattoo :)

The Master Cleanse

It is true, I decided to try The Master Cleanse. I have heard so much about it, I thought it would be good for me to get out all the crap I knew had been building up in my system these last 20-something years. Wanna hear how it went?

Day 0: Ran out of time so I didn't make it to the store in time to grab all the supplies I needed to make that "tasty" lemonade.

Day 1: Didn't really realize it was going to be day 1, I just happened to have a little extra time in the morning and my roommates hadn't brewed any coffee so

7:30am: I decided to run to the store to pick up some lemons and maple syrup.

7:45am: Make lemonade [-ish] drink. I make a whole pitcher cause I am really bad with the ounce measurement and way overshot how much I needed to make. "That's okay" I tell myself "even though they say not to make it ahead of time, I am sure it won't kill me."

9:00am: I hate myself.

10:30am: co-worker offers to get me some coffee, like an out of body experience I hear myself saying no even though all I want to do is say YES, PLEASE, ALL OF THE COFFEE IN THE SHOP, BRING IT TO ME! I did get a mint tea. I think that's allowed.

12:00pm: surprisingly, my appetite has subsided for a bit. Although I choke every time I take a sip of that cayenne pepper drink [that's what it should be renamed], I keep drinking because I figure if my stomach feels something hit it it might not hate me.

2:00pm: I have a serious headache and all I want to do is lay down and go to sleep forever. I eat some trail mix [was that not in the directions?]

6:00pm: get home from class, want to die, eat some toast, go to bed at 7:00p.

Day 2: Well, I couldn't even make it ONE DAY so how about I just throw all of this stupid "lemonade" out and eat food like a normal person??

Done and done.

Alone

I can't eat in a restaurant by myself.

I can't go to concerts by myself.

I can't go to a bar by myself.

I can't go to a dance club by myself.

I can't take a vacation by myself.

I can't

I.H.Z.E.A

Welcome to I Heart Zac Efron Anonymous. Many of us have tried to resist it for so long. I don't want to be a cougar just like the rest of you. But then I watched 17 Again. And that HAIR. And those EYES. Okay...you get the point.

Hello, my name is Yeti and I heart Zac Efron.