My BMI

I joined the gym. I pretty much just give them $28 a month. But sometimes I go in for a visit – you know…just so they don’t think I died.
When I first joined they set me up with one free session with a trainer. Justus. [He should be a gladiator…not really, but he has a good name for it]. Anyway, it took a couple of tries to set the appointment up and get a time that worked [I think I had to cancel the first one for some reason]. Over the phone he always sounded like he had just lit up and was getting high. But…nice guy.
So, I show up and am greeted very kindly. Nice guy. He says we have to fill out some paperwork and figure out my BMI and all that stuff before he takes me around for a workout. Fine. So he starts asking me questions and measuring things. Well, he gets to my chest measurement and gets semi-awkward but not too bad. He looks at me and says, “can you please hold this over your nipple line?” Um…sure. After taking the measurement he then says, “was that weird? I never know how to ask that? How should I say that? Are you offended?” Haah! OK, moving on.
He is now done with all the measurements he has to take and moves on to calculations. He then hits me with it – the big number – my BMI. Not as bad as I thought. I was pretty sure I was going to get “lump on a log,” but I didn’t. He told me what I got was good, healthy. “You don’t really want to get too low cause then it can mess up things like…you know…like…monthly…you know.” I just looked at him and said “You can say NIPPLE but you can’t say PERIOD!?!” He got a little awkward when I said that – but pushed through it with blushed cheeks and a smile.
The rest of the session I gave him a pretty hard time. He’d try to push me on some piece of equipment “give me five more!” and I would just look at him, smile, and say “You’re kidding, right? I can’t do five more. How about you do five of them for me so I can see how good YOU do them?”
He didn’t really know how to take me, but it was a fun session. And I always got a cute wave every time I came in after that.