Twice rejected

One of the things I really loved about eHarmony was the ability to be rejected twice by certain boys. Think about it – if you put your setting as wanting to be matched with “Christian” or anything else rather specific then you are really narrowing down the pool eHarmony is going to match you with. (and even if you don’t I am convinced that there really aren’t that many people on there so they just match you with the other 20 people in your zipcode). This, for me, meant that I got matched with many many boys both at my school and church.

While it allowed me to know that I was probably not getting matched with some psychos it also afforded me the opportunity to get rejected TWICE by these guys. They would close me down on eHarmony (probably using a vague explanation like “other”) and then when I saw them in real life I’d get rejected again: the awkward avoidance, the “we should hang out in groups”, the look that I can only assume means you-don’t-really-look-like-your-picture.

It’s okay though, because I make myself better by convincing myself that they are sad pathetic boys that are afraid to talk to or ask girls out in real life. I just shoot them back a glare that says “I know your secret too, buddy! And you’re right, I don’t look like my picture, I’m hotter. And now that you closed me down you don’t stand a chance. And every girl here is going to know that you like playing cops and robbers or scrabble on the weekends. And by the way, you spelled scrabble wrong in your profile, it has TWO b’s…I can tell you are probably really good at it!”