A Guys Apartment

Let’s admit it, it is kind of scary to go to a guy’s apartment for the first time. I mean, this tells you a lot about a guy. Is he the bachelor’s bachelor? You know, the stereotypical kind. Or does he have several gay friends, girlfriends, and a domineering mother that have all helped him make this a cozy habitat? Will you be able to breath? [You should bring febreez just in case] Are you going to find creatures? What kinds of “ex” remains will you find there? Does he sleep on the floor? Does he decorate with empty vodka bottles? [classy] Oh my gosh, what if he has a cat?!?
And then, perhaps we can get over the appearance of the actual apartment – but what happens when we catch a glimpse of his refrigerator or kitchen cabinets? [Only with his permission of course] Will there be more then just protein shakes, powders and bars in there? How old is that milk? What if he’s a vegetarian?
And I'm not even going to touch on how scary it is even thinking about having to go to the bathroom at his place for the first time. Oh Lord...just help him to have cleaned in the last three months...please...just let there be toilet paper...
All I’m saying, it can be scary. Maybe he should just come to my place.
…but I DO still sleep in bunk beds. Hmm…