Die Roadrunner

Beware what you text

THIS JUST IN....news alert!! The BBC has come out with a report on how dangerous it is to send "sexy texts" - and you thought you had it difficult. Read the news story below:

Dubai jails Indian pair for 'sexy texts'

Steamy text messages have resulted in a three-month jail sentence for a Indian man and an Indian woman in Dubai.

Judges ruled that they had planned to "commit sin", a reference to an extramarital affair - which is illegal in the United Arab Emirates.

The unnamed pair, aged 47 and 42, were working as cabin crew for Dubai's Emirates airline.

Their "sexy texts" first surfaced last year, in a divorce lawsuit by the woman's estranged husband.

Crimes of passion

The Indian pair were originally sentenced to six months in jail, followed by deportation.

But an appeals court reduced the term and gave them the option to remain in the country.

The court said there was not enough evidence to determine whether the man and the woman had actually had an affair, which could have brought a harsher sentence.

This is the latest in a series of cases where foreigners have been found to have broken Dubai's conservative laws.

Earlier this week, a British couple said they would appeal a one-month jail sentence for exchanging a passionate kiss in a restaurant.

In 2008, two Britons were sentenced to three months in jail for what authorities described as sex on the beach. The sentences were later suspended.

E-U-C...crap

errands

continuing the case for a husband. and i guess since we went back to ground zero I have to start over at one again so...here we go:

#1: someone to run out and get you more medicine and lunch when you're not feeling well.

Dignity please, isle 4

I got this email, a while ago. and it STILL makes no sense to me. but it makes me sad because i think a lot of girls are like this. please women, have some self-respect. if you read this and relate to it, something in your life needs to change.
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MY secret is I love #### and I believe we should be together. Which may have been obvious, as I'm sure as much as I try not to get all "sparkle-eyed" around him, I SO DO. He is a nice guy, does like me quite a bit and doesn't mind hanging out with me...but on the other hand he makes NO secret of the fact that he thinks I am completely unsuitable for him, does not like many things about me, and will NEVER introduce me to his family. I appreciate honesty as much as the next girl but...OUCH.
Now I'm a strong girl and also quite awesome and I deserve someone who thinks better of me than THAT, so breaking up with him seemed the right choice. And I DID...until I saw him again, on which occasion I forgave him everything. Because duh, I LOVE HIM. But also, duh, HIS OPINIONS OF ME ARE THE SAME. Now I don't want to be miserable, nor have him dump me when he finds a 'real girlfriend', so I have GOT to be stronger, break up as friends, and not go to him no matter how much I want to!
I hate the thought that I won't be with him, but don't tell him that. He and I talk often because, really, we are awesome together and I love to encourage and support him. I would say he is definitely my friend and though right now I have no interest in being with anyone else, maybe in time I can move on and then he and I can see each other as just friends.

Fantasy League

HOW did the Yeti not win in the fantasy league?!?!

if i had a nickel for every time i went out with a guy in the mafia

i can't decide which is worse - when a guy doesn't call or when he makes up lavish stories about why he can never see you again. i think i like the stories - helps me know he's put some effort into getting rid of me.
this phenomenal story was submitted to me by an anonymous yeti reader. please read and share in her pain.
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i went out with this guy who i knew "a bit". seemed very nice, very normal, polite.. etc... a bit young, but hey. prior to "going out", we text at least a few times a day. everything on the date goes fine, no problems, but the two days after our texts come to a complete stop. okay, not "our" texts, because i still continued to text him as per our normal banter until i realized he wasn't responding. after three days of absolute silence a two-way text conversation finally starts:

A- hey sorry, my phone has been off.

E- oh really? the boy who is in love with his blackberry?? heehe. suuuuure... :P

A- no, really... i've been in a bit of a mess.

E- what kind of mess?

A- well, some deep shit.... mafia shit... so i turn my phone off most of the time...

E- hm... what did you do?

A- nothing.... it's just a misunderstanding... but yeah. i call you in a few days.

E-okay.

mafia shit might just be amongst the best excuses ever for being blown off...

back to ground zero

In response to my case for a husband:

Fish: http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Reach-Lotion-Applicator-A13058/dp/B000300VS8

Yeti: Wow! that's awesome.

Fish: its only $10. and you don’t have to marry anyone

Yeti: that is a really valid rebuttal. i might have to retract #1 already

And...back to ground zero.

the case for a husband

i will slowly be building the case for a husband (or partner)...one argument at a time. i don't want to overwhelm myself.

#1. someone to put lotion on your back.

when is a message TOO creepy

The following is a message a friend of mine got from a guy on OK Cupid. Did I mention it was the FIRST message she got from this guy. So...some guy just saw her profile...and then decided to write THIS. I really don't understand.

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when is it too deep...when ur caring for someone...lets say that person is a 3 yr old patient and ur a nurse or doctor....rite off the bat....our society mades mds more a loof....and rn more compassionate....why is just the system and the work load....

I know sometimes there are times within seconds that two spirts of individuals connect.....it could be in a life and death situation....

but sometimes you may watch an individual for a while or at least I have watched that individual to decied which side I will put them in.....the good pile or the bad pile.....either way who am i?????well I am not certainly god....

but i do think there is use for this judgemental behavior....example....let say your in a titanic situation...but you have a choice to get on a boat with 5 kind people and 2 mean ppl....verses 2 kind ppl and 5 mean ppl....who... u dont know but have been observing for a week while on the cruz....which boat would u pick....

anyways....have a safe trip.....hi....bye...

monday afternoon conversation

these are the important gchat conversation i have.

Yeti: we should only work half days

Specca: totally agree.

and people shouldn't be so annoying to work with at times so that it is easier

Yeti: totally agree

and we should get naps in the middle of the day

Specca: mmm-hmmm

making it really only a quarter of a day working

Yeti: and food should come out of the wall automatically when i push a button and say: "prime rib please"

Specca: and "margarita on the rocks please…no salt"

wrong number

so, i may have hit a new low. not really sure (or ready to admit it).

there is a cute boy that i went to college with who has recently moved closer to me. we connected on facebook briefly (I LOVE FACEBOOK!) and i sent him a message letting him know what city i lived in and that we should get together sometime...proceeding to leave my phone number.

this boy and i were never really close in college, and i have not talked to him in about 5 years, so for all i know he could be a freak...but apparently i was really hoping he would call becaaaaaause....

wednesday i get a call from a number that i don't recognize but it is the area code of his hometown (INTERSTING!) i can't answer because i am at work and i wouldn't anyway.

so i wait for a voicemail to come through.

nothing.

Grrrrrrrrr.

this is the point i realized that i wanted it to be him: i proceeded to send the phone number to my friend jennifer asking her to call it pretending she got a wrong number or thought it was a deli or something so we could see who it belonged to.

wanna know who it was? TARGET PHARMACY!!

worst letdown ever. but jennifer had a good laugh.

#Firstdaterules

Apparently first date rules are a hot topic on twitter right now. Just so you aren't all out of the loop I've copied a few here for you (in text and pictures)...don't be making the same mistakes these foolish people have!






















"Don't chill with me one night and my friend the next...YES!"
"Don't have stanky breath"
"you better bring bacc-up money cuz if you wacc, ah nucca definitely not payin' 4 you"
"Wutever you do,don't fart... Save it for the 2nd date. Or at least wen she's not looking."























"dont put on 50 pounds of make up"
"please dont bring your homies with you & then ask me do u have any friends like this is Match.com"
"please come prepared financially don't come on a date with $5 expecting me 2 pay 4 the tab lol the guys pays 4 the 1st date."
"clear your last calls or recent call incase she ask to use your phone"






















"please don't touch my food... I don't know you well enough."
"don't tell me about your family problems "
"dnt tryna ask me y I been single so long."
"Make Sure u Shower & Shave cuz No Way am I hanging Out w a Hairy ass Musty Man!"

Sweden wants to give you some advice

Sweden knows how to do PSA's. Someone I know found this while looking for something else on YouTube...trust me, a harmless search...nevertheless, a priceless find. And so I pass this little piece of wisdom you should already know on to you.

[Also, warning, not suitable for work...probably...most places a human being would work]

THIS is why i still go to church

compliment/random comment of the day. after the church service sunday the lady behind me taps me on the shoulder and says:

"excuse me, but your hair looks like a pantene pro-v commercial. i mean, it's so shiny. i looked around at other girls in here and none of them look like yours."

















i don't even USE pantene pro-v. and i hadn't even washed my hair that day, imagine if i had!! actually, best i hadn't - i would have totally distracted her from the LORD.

your man doesn't smell like THIS guy

how is old spice advertising so ridiculously hilarious. and right. i need a man that doesn't smell like a woman, i think that's been my problem all along...

The case for an older woman

Fascinating article from OK Cupid encouraging men on dating sites to consider going for older women. I mean, I agree...women only get better as we get older. We're like a fine wine. Men on the other hand...I don't know - moldy cheese? I digress.

And while we are on the topic, an 18 or 19 year old shouldn't even be allowed on a dating site...that's just ridiculous. GO TO YOUR PROM!

Nevertheless, read and decide for yourself.

Thanks [F]oxymoron, for pointing this article out.

Beginning to Date

I wish they had showed us THIS video instead of that sex ed stuff when i was in junior high...I am frankly glad I watched it now. I think I'll have some better luck come the next date I go on...I'll also be more aware of his faults when it come to etiquette and be able to kindly point those out [and then email him this video so he can see what I am taking about].



Or go HERE to watch it online (in case my blog cuts half of it off)

Thanks to Bleeker's Portico for passing this along.

style

PLEASE tell me these pants are coming back in style. I might still have the pretty purple ones I wore in my 2nd grade class photo. I cannot even express to you how much I love it when styles come around that coincide with my comfort. When I can wear something that makes me feel like I am still in my pajamas - that's a style train I'm willing to jump on!


























This photo taken by my housemate at a wrap party we went to for a television show he was working on.

apparently i'm a geek

But I am okay with that. A friend passed on to me an article about 10 Ways to a Geeky Girls Heart. Honestly, I always had an inkling that I was geeky, but this really solidified it - although I think they're being a little fast a loose with the word. I think just HUMAN BEINGS like this type of stuff. But I'm no real expert so I won't push the issue. I think what really won me over was the gourmet root beer in #6. Have a read...let me know what you think - are YOU a geek?
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1. Plan a board game night. Consider the girl’s interests, and round up a few board games that are compatible. Then let her choose which ones to play. Make sure you find ones that work well with two players.

2. Be able to make situationally appropriate science jokes. It’s always especially fun when you and your girl are the only ones in the room who get the joke.

3. Plan a trip to somewhere new and stimulating. On a small budget, go to a museum or nature preserve. If the budget allows, think bigger or more unusual. Go somewhere that generates discussion (though not argument). You’re creating memories that you’ll always be able to share.

4. Design a treasure hunt. Forget the conventional or impersonal gifts. Designing a treasure hunt for your girl with a special note or gift at the end is one way of showing that you care enough to put in a lot of effort. You can make the hunt short or long, easy or hard. If you have known your geeky girl for long enough, use that history for some clue ideas. If the geeky girl is the type that likes to figure things out, she’ll love this idea.

5. Be able to have interesting conversations on any topic. This doesn’t mean that you have to be an expert in everything, but be willing to discuss unusual topics. Know nothing about fossils? Be willing to have her teach you what she knows, and ask relevant questions. If you try to learn something new each day, you’ll always have something new to talk about.

6. Learn to cook a variety of dishes. Some people are able to make one dish that is always a hit, but if you’re going to go on more than one date, or have a long term relationship, knowing how to cook a variety of dishes is important, even if your girl likes to cook also. Staples like spaghetti and meatballs or macaroni and cheese are great for later, but at this point, try for something a little more complicated. You get bonus points for pairing the meal with an appropriate wine or other fancy beverage (sparkling apple cider, sparkling white grape juice or gourmet root beer work very well for the non-drinkers).

7. Give unusual flowers. If your geeky girl loves flowers anyway, don’t go for the conventional roses. Choose something unusual or personal. Choose by color, by source or find something related to your history together.

8. Learn about what she enjoys. Consider her interests. You love shoot-em-up video games, she likes puzzle games. Give her games a try some of the time. She’ll give you points for the attempt. This also holds true for movies, books, restaurants and other activities. Chances are that she’ll reciprocate and try out some of your interests. You both may learn to like some new things.

9. Be able to honestly express how you feel. Showing how you feel is very important, but it is equally important to say the words. Geeky girls are often more introspective than average, and can often articulate how they feel or what they want. It is important to be able to reciprocate.

10. Leave a little mystery. While geeky girls love to learn all about your interesting personality, it always helps to leave a little bit of mystery to keep them wanting more. Just make sure it’s not suspicious mystery; that could backfire.

Read the full article HERE