Happy VD

Happy Valentines Day my lovers!

To help you celebrate I will share with you a story that happened today - so you can be thankful you aren't dating this woman:

I was walking down the street on my way to lunch.  While waiting for a cross walk to give me the "go ahead" to cross the street I overheard the lady behind me having a conversation on the phone (or leaving a voicemail...not sure)

Crazy Lady: "You know what I would really love from you? A HANDwritten card that expresses what you appreciate most about me and how much you love me. That's it! I don't think that's too much to ask."

Please people. I don't think that's too much to ask, either. Whatever man or woman was dating her is LUCKY!!

I want food

My friend just started dating a boy that sounds like quite a dream boat. Why do I say this? Cause he's cooked for her! We allll want a boy who will cook for us! Here is the bonus, he cooks so much that he can pack up leftovers for her lunch the next day. AND even packs a little extra for her roommate. What a winner. The only problem? He hasn't cooked for me yet. or packed away any leftovers for MY lunches. So until this happens I've decided I'm not going to approve of him. I repeat, not approved. I like food and am very protective of my friend. He now knows how to win my affection...we shall see.

Ambiguous Co-Worker

Sometimes it is awkward when you work with people of the opposite sex that are semi-vague and you don’t really know what to say to them. They SEEM to be trying to vaguely hit on you, and you aren’t interested in them, but you don’t know how to steer the conversation a different direction – and wouldn’t it be presumptuous just to say “hey, listen, just in case you’re interested in me, I’m not so….stop saying vaguely flattering things to me. Okay? Thanks.”

There is this boy that works in my building that keeps saying strange things to me like: 

“why do you keep sending someone else from your floor here instead of bringing things yourself? I don’t like it when other people come by.”

Or as he’s entering things in the system and makes mistakes he says:

“I guess I just get nervous and flustered when you’re around.”

And then sends me messages over gchat that say:

“pretend this is not a ploy to get your attention”

um….er…..okay. I’ll pretend. If you pretend to stop saying these things and just be my co-worker! Deal?

The Case for a Husband #2

Someone to drink with you so you aren't drinking alone.